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I had botox on my scrotum and now I'm tripping over my scrotum every time it slips out of my jockey underwear.

I thought the Botox would just relax the wrinkles, but it really let it all hang flat. It's not the most appealing look. Being able to throw your scrotum over either shoulder is funny for the first few "performances" if you know what I mean, but then it's just another floppy appendage that one needs to hide. I'm afraid to go swimming, I keep imagining everything going down the drain when I swim underwater. The only time it comes in handy is when I take my gold fish swimming with me, but I have to be very careful as the chlorine would kill my fish if it mixed with the fresh water collected in my scrotum lake.

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"Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it ... You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"

We are switching to the new platform for The DataLounge this weekend. All of our mobile users have been using it for over a week and all first time users have been using it for about a month - which adds up to well over one million users. So we're ready to end this phase of the testing and move everybody to the new site. (more)

And yes, we've changed the look and some of how it operates.

Yes, we know you just *hate* it in well in advance.

Yes, we know we suck.

Yes, we are the biggest suckers that ever sucked.

But it was time for a change and with the huge shift to mobile it was long overdue. We've taken this opportunity not only to update the look but also make major changes under the hood (or "bonnet" if you're either British or pretentious or both). And we have to prepare for 2016 - a presidential election year where we can normally expect to see a 60% jump in traffic (yes, we've seen 5 presidential elections so far…Christ we're old).

The site has a bunch - nay, plethora - of new features which will make the site more usable: better search, the ability to ignore posters and threads, see link previews, to pick up a thread where you left off, spam and malware filtering and more.

If you want you can go explore and see for yourself, Click here.

And while running the tests we've noticed two interesting reactions to the new system - people are spending more time on the site and more people that come stay around longer and look at more stuff. Both good things. Yay!

One thing to note - the new site uses cookies just like the old one does and they are essential to its operation. If you use incognito browsing or turn off your cookies then it won't work right. Worse if you delete your cookies you will appear to us as a newbie and will, like Madge be "like a virgin" to us. That means any accumulated brownie points that you've earned last as long as a Kurt Hummel erection at a truck stop strip joint.

The old site will remain around on while things settle down but will go away fairly soon as we consolidate everything to the one "official" site.

Possibly we've not slain all the dragons and there will be issues that come up during the switchover. There's a help button in the lower right hand corner of the page which you can use to send us bug reports.

Please include as much information about the hardware (PC, Mac, Tablet, Phone etc), operating system (Windows, Mac OS, Android, iOS etc) and browser (Chrome, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer etc) that you are using as possible to help us replicate and fix the problem.

Please note that complaints about colors, fonts, icons and the like are not "bugs" - they are design choices that we've made and we expect one or two cases of world-class bitching. But they won't actually cause headaches, scurvy, heart attacks, Restless Leg Syndrome, Morgellon's Disease or the vapors (but have your smelling salts at hand just in case).

Enjoy, bitches!

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