I Give You Kisses Cuz You're My Missus!

My partner keeps saying this to our new cat. He'll just say it over and over. He's masculine, 24, jock. But now that we have a kid he's been exhibiting a lot of flamboyance. He'll raise his arm and SNAP when she walks in the room and say "Girl, you so fuzzy!" Her name is "Marceline" but he calls her "Mama" and says things like "Mama! I love my monkey mama! Gimme dem kisses mama!" Oh yeah, he calls her monkey a lot. I actually heard him say something like " Who's a funky chunky monkey sunky dunky?" It's a major turn-off, but what can I realistically do about it??? I do like that he's so affectionate, I find that really cute, but I just can't help finding it a bit ...embarrassing. I wish I were somehow better than that, but I guess I'm not. I can't possibly ask him to stop. He loves that cat, and that would just be cruel. I don't really have many good options here, do I?

• [quote]He's masculine, 24, jock. But now that we have a kid he's been exhibiting a lot of flamboyance. Two things: A cat is not a child; and your boyfriend is only masculine compared to Madame.

• R1, oops! I didn't mean to type kid! I meant kitty.

  OP

• Many people get kitties and puppies so that they can be totally comfortable acting really silly by talking "baby-talk." Their excuse is that the furry companion really responds to such endearments. In reality I think it relieves the human companion's stress, and brings him back to a fantasy simpler time where he/she was relieved of responsibility. OP, How wouldn't it be worse if your partner had a diaper fetish, and wanted you to be his adult daddy?

• If you find it so embarrassing leave him. I'm sure he could do better.

• OP? Your post, your life, your whole existence is painful. Please do us all a favor and disappear.

• [quote]I don't really have many good options here, do I? Getting a blog would be one.

• Please, let the boyfriend get the cat in the inevitable break-up. And God forbid you ever have a kid, OP.

• If he acts like that with a cat, he could potentially act like that with a baby. Be glad that your guy could actually be a father who is present physically and able to engage/ entertain the kid

• "I give you throw-up cuz I want you to grow up."

• If something doesn't sound right, it probably isn't true. OP's story is just a little too contrived. R5 is on the right track.

• Flamboyance? Flame boyance.

• This thread really makes me feel good about gay parenting.

• lol.. unless he's doing all those even in his sleep, your guy sounds adorable.

  animal%20lover%20UNITE%21

• Adventure Time fans?

• How affectionate is he with YOU, Op?

• Sounds so cute!

• You two are both flamers for naming your cat Marceline. THREAD CLOSED!

• [quote]Adventure Time fans? Yup!

  OP

• What kind of kitty?

  I%27m%20picturing%20an%20orange%20tabby...

• Tuxedo

  OP

• Here:

  http://i.imgur.com/rmgPR7p.jpg

• And:

  http://i.imgur.com/iihDTxq.jpg

• Tuxedo cat? Why didn't you name her Gunter?

• She doesn't look like a Marceline, to be honest.

• Pweshus kitty! I can see why BF baby-talks to her.

• OP, you have a big black hairy pussy. Thanks for showing us your pussy pics.

  I%20like%20that%20about%20you.

• A nice little dish of ethylene glycol left next to the kitty litter box will solve all of your problems. Don't worry, you can thank me later.

  L. Borgia

• OP, Your kitty looks like a reincarnation of Honey Katt. She used to jump off my bed to greet my roomie at the door, for a special petting session.

• Oh, she looks like my old kitty that the ex got rid of. WIth her pink nose and I bet she has pink toes too! Aww, pink nose, pink toes kitty! She's so cute. Marceline does not fit her, like r24 said. You should call her Bean.

  I%20miss%20my%20Bean%20kitty

• Lord OP I recently got a tuxedo of my very own and I could give your BF a run for his money. Your precious is ADORABLE!

  Tummy kisses for Mama

• 0/10 The OP is trying much too hard to make one of his absurd threads 'happen'.

• When we brought home our rescue dog nearly 10 years ago, he promptly ate one of his turds. I've baby-talked to him that he's "eatin' dookie!" every day since. It's just how one talks to the animals.

  Dookie%21%20

• Pretty pink-nosed snookum!

  Leave%20him%20alone%2C%20OP

• 24 and partnered? Did you have a ceremony? Admit it: you met a month ago and moved in to save money. He might be your boyfriend but you don't sound like you know him well enough to claim to be partners.

• Awww, your kitty is so cute!

• OP, does the kitty respond differently to you than she does to your partner? Please be specific.

  testing

• Another two month "relationship" hits the skids because neither party can see further than the tip of his nose. Good job, kids.

• OP what is your partner like in bed? top or bottom?

• Send the BF to me, you don't deserve him.

• eyeroll

• "He'll raise his arm and SNAP when she walks in the room and say "Girl, you so fuzzy!" I have to say, I'm picturing this and I can not stop laughing.

• This thread is proof the DL is infested with lonely cat fraus and sad apartment dwelling queens.

• Pic of the BF or I call this a trollina thread.

  Zak%2C%20SNAP%21

• What R39 said. R42 is Grumpy cat.

• I agree she doesn't look like a Marceline, but he liked it. I wanted to name her Roxy. She gets called Marcy by me.

  OP

• KA-ween!!!

• Your boyfriend has BWS (butch while single) syndrome. It happens to a lot of gays. Close proximity to someone with a lot of testosterone has been shown to cause a spike in your estrogen levels, thus making you more feminine and emotional.

• [quote]Pic of the BF or I call this a trollina thread. You know I can't post his picture.

• Have you not been around animal owners before, OP? Lots of them, to a greater or lesser degree, talk to pets in baby talk. It could be worse. I was flipping channels and stopped on one of those fucking housewives shows. Lisa Vanderpump, who I rather like, was on. So her husband walks in with a little dog . She said, "Give me a kiss, you sexy thing!"--to her husband, I thought. She then proceeded to kiss the dog!!?? Only then, did she notice the husband and said, "Oh, hello, darling."

• I am curious, OP - does your partner not say similar "love babble" to you? Murmur sweet things and make up goofy nicknames, etc.?

• Who considers a cat the same as a "child"? Grow up.

• My cat's name IS Monkey. I demand royalties!

• OP, your BF called me this morning to say he hates the way you eat your Cheerios.

• [quote] Her name is "Marceline" MARY!

• Got a phone? YouTube him. Embarrassment is a marvelous behavior modifier.

• R47, I'm sitting here laughing my ass off - hysterical!

• R56, why?

• People tend to forget that cats are dignified animals. Just because they sometimes writhe around on their backs, chase their tails, burrow under quilts & romp in a dry bathtub, etc. doesn't mean that they're drooling idiots. So, naturally, they HATE babytalk. Affection is fine, using nicknames is acceptable, worship is expected -- but don't address them in gibberish. Speak to a cat as you would a distinguished professor emeritus -- polite smalltalk combined with stimulating conversation about current events & the arts (no sports). Imagine that you are Clifton Webb & the cat is George Sanders.

• This thread had my coworker and I laughing to the point of TEARS on our train ride home. Thanks, OP! Kisses 'cuz she's his missus? Show him the door because he's a big queeny BORE!

• What a cute little kitty! I'd probably give it kisses and call it Missus, too. Stop being shallow. Unless there's a real problem going on, or if you just don't like him, then learn a bit of selective deafness. If you break up, give him the kitty. Whatever. Just make sure that poor cat doesn't pay for your silliness.

• [quote]Who considers a cat the same as a "child"? Grow up. Exactly, cats are far superior.

• OP, when you're old, bald and fat you'll look back and wish your 24 year old treasure was still around talking baby talk to the kitty.

  Mark my words

• I think what bothers OP is that his partner's image as masculine is "tainted" by his kitty talk. OP, your partner actually sounds great. Shame on you.

• It starts with kitty talk and before too long he'll be a dedicated bottom. Then he'll start wearing dresses and pretty soon he's full-on pre-op tranny with gyno. BWS (butch while single) syndrom is very real. You need to test out a partner's masculinity before committing.

• Hilarious Op!

• [quote] had my coworker and I laughing Your post had me laughing. OP, start calling the cat Momma's Mussy. Start calling you husbear Momma.

• [quote] BWS (butch while single) syndrom is very real. You need to test out a partner's masculinity before committing. That's funny. Thank you for the laugh.

• This thread is making me horny as hell!

  Miss Sissyboodles

• Has anyone ever thrown a cat into a wood chipper?

• OP if you and your boyfriend are fans of Adventure Time, I think you both are great. Just bring it up to him, nothing wrong with being blunt.

  Ice King

• I have brother and sister smokies (blue-gray shorthairs) and when one of 'em does something stupid, like tearing around the house after their supper, I chant: "Goofball kitty kitty -- unh! unh! "Goofball kitty kitty -- unh! unh! "Goofball kitty kitty -- unh! unh!" I am sure I must sound insane when I do this. But they seem to love it and run around even faster.

• r71 Pics of the cuties or it didn't happen..

• How do I do it? Never done it before. I guess I could catch them tomorrow morning after their breakfast. They like spend the rest of the morning racked out on my bed.

• I don't know r73 but I can't wait to see them..I would talk to them like that too. They sound like dollies and bubbles ( I call my pets bubble and bubblehead, don't know why)

• Kids are for people who can't have cats.

  Mother%27s%20sampler

• My bf does the same, OP. Has absolutely no boundaries when it comes to the cats (scarlet and quizix) and caws and coos at them loud enough for the neighbors to hear. After ten years I still find it mildly irritating at times but not enough to make an issue of it, and those little bitches run our house. If he's a good guy and you're happy with him, then allow him his idiosyncrasies.

• [quote]When we brought home our rescue dog nearly 10 years ago, he promptly ate one of his turds. I've baby-talked to him that he's "eatin' dookie!" every day since. Your dog eats his dookie every single day? Have you considered, y'know, trying to STOP him from eating it?

  dookie-breath

• J'adore R58!

• r58, I agree with you up to a point, but if George Sanders rubbed his cheeks repeatedly up against Clifton Webb when he wanted dinner, cntentedly licked his own ass in full view of him and whoever else happened to be in the room whenever he felt like it, and slept snuggled up against him every night, I'm sure he'd have a somewhat more familiar tone with him.

• No, R77, it just happened that one day, but I've reminded him of it in my baby-pet-talk every day. It's just something I say.

• R76, good advice. Thanks!

  OP

• Widdle pink bunny nose boo-boo kitty!

• Men who behave in such a manner are no men at all. Also, ANYBODY who treats cats in this manner are just loathsome and embarrassing to the human race at large. Grow the fuck up, you imbeciles.

• Who pissed in R83's corn flakes this morning?

• OP and I would not be compatible. I used to do to my cat Missy all that he claims his boyfriend does, but also I would lick her head to feel closer to her in a feline non human way.

  Too%20loving%20for%20the%20world

• [quote] He's masculine, 24, jock Cheerleading doesn't count, hon.

• R79, who's to say that Messrs Sanders & Webb didn't do all those things together? Still no excuse for babytalk.

  purrrrrr

• Did you know Carmelita Pope? Wonderful gal.

• Wrong thread, dammit.

  Larry%20King

• If I were the OP I would try giving my boyfriend a little extra silly lover's talk and gratuitous making out. Maybe he's just starved for affection.

• More cat pictures please. The smoky brother and sister aren't going to post pic of themselves..

  because%20they%20have%20no%20thumbs

• Looooove this thread. OP's bf sounds adorable! And I have totally co-opted the SNAP and "girl, you so fuzzy!" for when my kitty enters the room, lol. Clearly, OP's problem is that his bf is suddenly much less straight-acting than he used to be, and OP is disgusted by that. OP, your bf is a flamer, and there's nothing wrong with that!

  you%27re%20one%2C%20too%2C%20btw

• R92, cute!

• The cat's dad. Problem solved.

  OP

• The cat's dad what, R94? English not the first language of pricks?

• *DEAD

  OP

• What hapened to the fuzzy girl?

• Jesus OP, what did you do?

• Man, I read all the way to the end of this thread so I could post about how beautiful the tux is and say that I have one (a boy) who looks JUST THE SAME and is the most awesome cat I've ever lived with... and now your cat is DEAD?! What! Wait a minute, was today April Fo---- oh, fuck it. Anyway, your boyfriend sounds like an adorable stud, if you ever break up with him over the cat, can I have his number? Hope the kitty's doing okay.

• R96 is not the OP.

• Thank heavens. OP come back! Tell us more funny cat talk! This thread amuses me.

• Most catchy thread title evah!

  anon

• Two cats playing patty-cake...

  http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Ffeature%3Dplayer_embedded%26v%3DKIePsbJSS04

• r96, unlike you, I love and am loved.

  the%20exuberantly%20alive%20Marceline

• More Marceline pics and other kitties too, please.

• OP here! Marci is alive and well. She's still super fuzzy and gest lots of kisses. He's got me in on it now, too. I'm sure if our neighbors heard us they'd think we're insane. New pic, evil as ever:

  http://i.imgur.com/AahgepB.jpg

• Aww, with that pink nose, who can resist? Does she have pink and black toes too? I am glad you went over to the dark side. Who cares what your neighbors think? Maybe they should get a cutie cat.

• Adorable tuxedo cat. Lucky you.

• Oooh I just wuv my widdle pinky nosey toesy hunny bunny tuxedo- butt baby boy...YES I Doooo! Repeat. Endlessly. It's better than Effexor, trust.

  I%20love%20OP%27s%20Man

• OP, I must see pics of the pink toes and I am not the feets troll. I love tuxy feet.

• Masculine guys that can act goofy and are affectionate and loving with animals are my Kryptonite. Glad you joined the party. You've got a great guy and an adorable puss. Count your lucky stars.