Have we discussed those tests you must take before being hired for retail?

I applied at Pier 1 as I'm obviously never going to find another office job and need money desperately. I had to take some online assessment in which they give you a scenario and you have to pick the best/worst way to resolve it. What sucks is that it's basically a judgment as none of the scenarios were necessarily right or wrong. Part of it was the "personality" test in which they ask you the same questions over and over again just worded differently. What are they looking for?

• They're looking for consistency. If you recall from Psych 101 people will answer the same question differently depending on wording. For instance people when asked: Do you favor the government giving out welfare? They overwhelmingly said "no." But when asked: Do you favor government helping it's citizen who are in need? The response went overwhelmingly in support of.

• All these places have lost their fucking minds with their stupid ass "tests", even for shitty minimum wage jobs. Even though all of my experience is office associate work, I'm going to start looking into possibly doing manual labor. Yes, it will be a huge contrast, but if it pays well, that's all I care about. I'd rather do manual labor that pays well than office or retail shit where you make minimum wage and have to take all these tests before you can even get an interview.

• We had them at Borders as part of the online application. They're integrity tests that try to suss out if you're more likely to steal. They're complete bullshit and eliminate otherwise perfect candidates.

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• That's what I thought R3. While I was taking it I was thinking a perfectly fine candidate could just make one little mistake and not get hired.

• Well, the perfect candidate could have a bad day and not get the job after all. So many things can go right or wrong in a single moment.

• They give you the gay test.

• It's a buyer's market right now for employers, there are many more people looking for jobs (especially in retail) than there are actual jobs available because businesses are working with skeleton crews instead of hiring more employees. That's the only reason they can get away with this shit, if there were more options out there for the unemployed no one would put up with it.

• All of these stupid online tests and profiles, yet every single one of these shitty retail stores are absolutely filled with stupid employees, most of them fat, eye rolling, neck rolling ghetto girls who don't give a living fuck if you've been asking for help the last 30 minutes. So, just how are these 'modern' pre-hire assessments actually helping? Here in New York, I was SO desperate for a job a few years ago I would have begged to work at the Duane Reade on my corner. They always had a sign up saying they were hiring. Their online application process took nearly a fucking hour, asked all kinds of personality related questions, attempting to assess me. I would have been a good, dedicated, trustworthy employee and likely one of the only ones with a college degree... Yet with several applications, I was never called for an interview; not once. Yet to this day, that store has nothing but rude, bitchy, loafing, cellphone-texting-at-the-register, eye rolling assholes working there. I don't get it.

• While I was waiting to turn in my app one girl was on the phone, it was a business call, but she had two customers standing at the counter and did not acknowledge them at all. Finally another girl strolled up to the counter and rang them up. I know I could work ten times better than that.

  OP

• They're looking for easily controlled people, R8. The troglodytes are less likely to fight back against rapacious company policies. You were just too smart for them, R8 - that's a good thing.

• The more difficult the government makes it to fire an employee, the more difficult it becomes for everyone to get a job. Employers don't want to be stuck with a "mistake" they can't get rid of.

• I totally agree with r8. I don't fucking get it either. The only thing I could think of is LOTS of job opening are filled with friends of friends of friends. Especially in these low end jobs. I bet VERY few openings are filled from strangers filling in applications on the internet. I think the next wave of job hunting will be a lot different. Cause the current wave ain't working at all. I read other jobs boards and RARELY does someone get called from filing out a application on line. It's the SAME FUCKING COMPLAINTS time and time again.

• Lots of folks get fired without any repercussions from the government (i.e. any state that has a "Will to Work" Law: [quote]an October 2000 decision largely reaffirming employers' rights under the at-will doctrine, the Supreme Court of California explained: “ \t[A]n employer may terminate its employees at will, for any or no reason ... the employer may act peremptorily, arbitrarily, or inconsistently, without providing specific protections such as prior warning, fair procedures, objective evaluation, or preferential reassignment ... The mere existence of an employment relationship affords no expectation, protectable by law, that employment will continue, or will end only on certain conditions, unless the parties have actually adopted such terms.[3]

• Horoscopes seem more accurate.

• Probably honesty more than anything else. Compliance with rules. Attitude toward authority.

• This thread is giving me bad memories and I'll be having nightmares tonight. Don't take it personally, OP. Good luck to you.

• [quote]The more difficult the government makes it to fire an employee, And just how do you think the government is making it difficult to fire employees?

• I don't think the tests really mean anything. So many people are looking for jobs at the moment and there are so few jobs out there that they need something, anything to eliminate some people - they can claim it was due to the testing. They are just arbitrarily getting rid of people.

• But the tests have been around for at least 15 years, R18. In the 90s, before the web took off, they were a recording you listened to on a phone call and pressed numbers to indicate your answer.

• Dumb, crude people like to hire dumb, crude people. They hate college/university graduates (not that they are all necessarily brilliant - they are intimidated by people that have degrees).

• It's stupid HR justifying their existence - they were starting out with this bullshit around the 90s, R19. Now it is part of the job process, and expanding. It's that, and it is used to get rid of people. I worked somewhere where they got 500 people applying for an entry level clerk job. The response was horror that so many had applied. That place had so many ways to arbitrarily get rid of people - they made it a grotesque art form. Really stupid. They genuinely did not care about getting the best people - and the result was it was a very dysfunctional place to work - full of morons, mental cases and shitty workers.

• I'm glad I'm not the only one having to deal with rude people working retail. I went to Walgreen's over the weekend and bought 2 things, the bitch who rang me up was chomping on gum like a cow and rolled her eyes when I handed her a coupon for 1 of the items. I wanted to slap her.

• Many really bright people would make a better salesforce than exist at most stores; however really bright people won't stay very long and will not be content to put up with the mismanagement that exists on all levels. Of course it makes no sense to motivated, bright people who need jobs, but middle and lower level management is about retaining control of your fiefdom and not hiring anyone who will threaten your job. Upper management doesn't care who is hired for low level jobs as long as they don't cause too many problems i.e. try to unionize. They are too busy trying to score points.

• Turnover in minimum wage retail jobs is huge, so they like to hire people who have no better options: that's how you get the porkers working at your drug store. The college graduates who'll abandon ship the moment the job market is on an uptick are not really suited to this kind of work.

• I was accosted at a Walmart (I only buy birdseed there, don't freak out) by a guy trying to sell me roofing or shingling. He had a name tag on his shirt, so I thought he was a Walmart employee doing some market research, asking basic questions about shopping habits. I am a polite person, so I answered his questions until he started asking for my address and phone number so they could come over and give me an estimate I was like, WTF? I'm here for birdseed and was trying to be nice and now I've got this guy trying to hard sell me, then he got nasty. I would bever go back again except that they have the cheapest birdseed and it's not like I'm putting American birdseed harvesters out of business by getting it at Walmart. I wonder if they paid Walmart in order to troll for customers in their store.

• R25, The same thing recently happened to me at Home Depot--I was there for a minor purchase (cheapie horizontal blinds for the window in my garage), and an aging, ex-hot frat boy employee accosted me about getting new kitchen cabinets. He must of realized how off-putting he came across, but he badgered me for my name and number repeatedly and wouldn't let the conversation end. I finally walked away in (his) mid-sentence.

• These tests are most likely the result of the HR people having to do something to justify their paycheques. We had downsizing last year and our HR department was cut by at least a third. Sweet! Hoping it's the wave of the future.

• [quote]We had them at Borders as part of the online application. And look how well Borders is doing today! Oh, wait ...

• Three or four years ago, while looking at IKEA's claims to be a terrific employer, I tried the online test for employment compatibility. It claimed to rate how Swedish you are, but it was really more about how malleable you are. The test had questions on the left and a room with furniture outlines on the right. Each correct answer caused one furniture outline to be filled in. The correct answers were ridiculously obvious, but I was completely honest to see what effect that had. For example, one question asked what your ideal working environment would be. The correct answer was a great big table with lots of happy, enthusiastic people around it. I picked a quiet desk by the window. When I was all done, the result screen said "Oh, dear!" in the best Datalounge tradition. "Your room seems rather sparsely furnished. You might be happier as a customer than as an employee." "Fuck you," I said. "You're not my kind of people, either." It was fun, but I was just playing. I'd probably feel a lot different if I really did have to bullshit my way through all that, just to rate an interview for back-breaking, low-paid work.

• There are also questions to test your honesty to the other questions. "I never have a sleepless night." If you agree with this statement it indicates a desire to give phony answers to look better. Everyone has a sleepless night from time to time.

• Ugh, I just took a personality assessment for a newly named position that is pretty much the same position I currently have, just higher pay and some benefits. I apparently failed this personality test, so I can't take the second part of the exam that actually relates to my work activities. I bet my lazy coworkers will somehow pass the personality exam.

  Ridiculous

• Oh, R3. The Stanton Test. I remember it well. It prevented me from hiring people I thought were awesome. It also allowed several thieves to pass with flying colors. Such bullshit.

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• "I apparently failed this personality test, so I can't take the second part of the exam that actually relates to my work activities" Sadly, I've heard stories of that very thing where I work as a contractor. Often, a contractor who has actually done a job for a couple years won't "test well" when encouraged to apply for a full-time position. So, the contractor is sent packing, the position goes to an inexperienced (but more expensive) newbie, and HR pats its foul self on the back.

• something has gone terrible wrong in the America workforce. I know HR are cunts - but they can't be the whole reason, no? (Other than the economy) What the hell has happened in the 80s that it's so cumbersome to get a job? And like lots of folks have stated - I see average workers EVERY fucking day. Please someone break it down for me!

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• These tests are also about "unaccountability." They don't measure actual skills such as literacy or numeracy. So it gives the employer an out to pick whomever they please without regard to fairness. Pure fuckery.

• OP, thank you for this thread; I actually just failed such a test yesterday for a shitty call center job paying minimum wage. Something has got to break - when the hell will companies start hiring again?

• R34 Honey, I don't get it either. This "Land of opportunity" nonsense is a fucking joke. There hasn't been opportunity in this country since the late 90's. Between so many jobs going to China and so many foreigners coming to America, there's not much left for actual citizens. It's scary. I've gone through interview after interview and even though I have lots of experience and letters of recommendation PROVING what a good worker I am, I STILL get rejected. If I could get a job in another country, I'd leave without a second thought. America is not what it used to be.

• Laughing at you all rationalizing how you're just too smart and mannerly and threatening to management to get a job selling gum, when all you do is sit on this board all day and insult anybody who isn't you--then wonder why you're hated. I'm glad you couldn't get a job at Duqne Reade, r8. I hope you find yourself in that position again and again, which I'm sure you will. You will die bitter and wondering why: about jobs, about relationships, about life.

• These tests are looking to identify personality traits. Are you honest, consistent, paranoid, trustworthy, etc? There have been extensive studies done that can identify these attributes by the way that you answer the questions. Corporations set benchmarks for the various traits and if you don't test within the parameters, you will not be hired. This may seem random or arbitrary to you, but there is actually some merit to these tests as it is a standardized means to view all employees. Desired character traits can be defined for different jobs. Given that most employment candidates provide nothing more than a resume and give a single interview, the test provides HR with another, more independent means to assess your appropriateness for a position based upon what the coporation values in its employees. You may not agree with the test or the process, but the results do provide a rather accurate profile of a prospective candidate.

• Gotta hand it to anyone working retail. Those years for me were horrible. Never again! The problem some of you may face is that management is probably less educated than a lot of applicants. They feel threatened by a potential employee who's smarter and better educated, so they hire drones instead.

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• R38 what is your damn problem? Sheesh.

• In theory R39 the answer is yes, but in reality, no they do not.

• If you can't get the job because you're overqualified or 'unsuitable', why don't you fill out the questionnaires telling them what they want to hear?

• Even for you r38, that was too extreme a response.

• Yeah, I've been a good office employee in the past but since these tests have come on the scene, I can't even get a job in a bookstore (at least thus far) and I majored in classics and minored in English. and pretty much the only thing I know how to do is push paper...

• R38 is an HR cuntbucket.

• [quote]I can't even get a job in a bookstore (at least thus far)...and I majored in classics and minored in English. That won't cut it in today's corporate "book"selling chains. The successful applicant must know how to sell-sell-sell the crappy tablets and eReaders (yes, I'm talking about the Nook) on which the stores are staking their futures and that most customers return when they realize they aren't iPads or Kindles. Applicants must also have innovative strategies for selling loyalty memberships. These are currently the only revenue streams. Book knowledge is entirely incidental to salesmanship.

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• Yeah, I realized that when I noticed that the booksellers (or some of them at any rate) at my local Barnes and Noble have no idea about cross-referencing books according to author or genre

• Well, they called and want to interview me tomorrow. I guess I passed. Part-time only though. Does anyone know if Pier 1 has a high turn over rate? There seems to be different people there every time I go in. This place is so close to me I can walk there, which is why I applied at that store. The lady did stress that I would be expected to shill their Pier 1 rewards card or whatever that thing is they try and get me to sign up for every time I go in and for some reason they want everyone's email address, which seems to me, to hold up the checkout line.

• If Q'diazha came up to you and called you a nappy-headed hi-yella heffa, would you: 1) go upside her head with a blunt object; 2) snatch her weave til she bald-headed; 3) tell your Supervisor a lie about her to get her fired; 4) sleep with her man, and leave your panties under the bed; 5) gather some of your friends and jump her; 6) steal her purse and go on a shopping spree; 7) all of the above 8) none of the above, but pray for her

• If you guys/girls want retail work, you need to PLAY THE FUCKING game. Go in there with a stank ass attitude, look completely bored/apathetic, visualize yourself as one of the nasty, lazy employees you encounter at Duane Reed. Don't you DARE tell them you have a college degree. People like to hire people who are like them...if you, a sexy gay 45 year old man or man goes in there talking about how you have your Master's degree, they'll just think you'll be nothing but extra work (i.e. you'll be the employee who won't relax and will constantly say "is there anything I can do to help out since I don't have anything going on right now?") and they'll also assume that you're more than likely going to take their job. Go in there, maybe a little drunk (actually, DO try to smell like booze). Smack gum during your interview. Give one word replies. DO try to look good/sexy (everyone wants to hire attractive people, no matter what they say. I'm not saying look like a model, but just look the best you possibly can). Never smile. Speak inarticulately and act like you can't wait to get out of there. Don't act excited to be there. Let them see you texting on your smartphone (if you don't have a smartphone, borrow one from a friend so the 30 year old manager will see it and think you're not a dinosaur). If you're a woman, get a REALLY nice manicure that kind of looks slightly cheap (with those appliques or whatever the fuck they do.) Once you're in with the management, you can go all professional on their ass but until then....heed my advice!

• [quote]DO try to look good/sexy (everyone wants to hire attractive people, no matter what they say. I'm not saying look like a model, but just look the best you possibly can). I disagree with this. The majority of hiring managers are ugly and feel threatened by good looking people, hence why at some places it seems like the entire staff is ugly. I think it's better to dress/look plain.

• r52 - I should've said men should try to look their best. Halo effect works well with men, doesn't work well with women (studies prove this)