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Trash Familyn Robinson/Visiting the Ex's Family

Anyone here have white-trash in-laws? Do they ever want you to stay with them when your BF/GF/Friend/Ex brings you to visit them? This is what happened to me. My Ex's (we've known each other 20 years) family are all unsavory, "limited" types who exist in an apparent parallel universe to my own (and my ex). They're in a working class area near West Palm Beach and expect us to stay with them when we visit. We have other friends in Boca, but are required to stay with his folks. This last trip his sister wanted us to stay with her too. She's a lesbian who lives with her GF and her GF's mother in a shack straight out of Tobacco Road -- with plywood for missing windows and an old Monte Carlo sunk up to its hubcaps in the front yard. All three drink continuously and when we visited them the last time, I felt really uncomfortable. Their place was filthy, with a wall of empty beer cans behind me, an ancient air conditioner rattling away trying to keep the temp under 90, and nonstop nonsensical drunktalk. The place was filled with cigarette smoke and smelled like and a wet dog. mAfter 10 minutes I wanted out. Anyway, I told him no way would I stay there. The sister complained to the mother that I thought I was "too good for them.") The mother told her husband (their stepfather, who is 6'8" and one of the nastiest bigots I've met) and that's how the trip started out. The bigoted stepfather proceeded to make life miserable for us. He refused to turn on the a/c saying it was "iffy" and I tried to fall asleep on a futon in the living room with a collection of hundreds of dolls behind glass, mixed in with commemorative Elvis plates. I'm no snob, but his folks are almost unbearably bigoted. I have never felt comfortable with them. And the unblinking eyes of all those dolls were driving me nuts. The house, of course, was locked up at night, all the windows closed, and a fan in the living room. After a day of this, the mother informed me that I was on her husband's "shit list." (Probably because I put the kibosh on staying at the sister's.) Then I realized they expected me to ride in their windowless van with no a/c to a family reunion, about 200 miles away, I got up in the middle of the night, called JetBlue, and changed my reservation. The stepfather came in, wanted to know if I was making long distance calls on his dime, and when he found out I was talking to the airline on an 800 number and was flying out the next morning, he flipped on the a/c and went back to bed. (They went to bed at 7 pm and got up at 5 am.) I'm very close to my ex, and he has defended me to his family but his sister, his stepfather, and his Mom all hate me now because I wouldn't stay in the sister's disgusting shack or travel in a windowless van with no a/c. My ex stayed and I went home. I don't feel guilty and I was really hoping I'd never see them again, but I feel badly about the Ex. We're still real close, together a lot. He's accepted his family the way they are, and wishes I would too. He's a sweetheart who is the least bigoted person I know. But he won't stand up to them. They are coming up to NYC in the Spring. They will stay with him. He wants me to hang out with them and go to dinner, etc. Would you go to dinner with them?

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