Bisexuals

A friend of mine is dating a guy who identifies as bisexual. I am under the impression that bisexuals are not trustworthy. The reason being is that they can go the straight path, so there is always the danger that the bisexual will walk out on him when the going gets tough. Thoughts and opinions?

• Bitch, you don't think gay men or women cheat on each other or just "walk out the door"? I don't get the bi-phobic hypocrisy. My last GF of 10 years was a bitch to me and cheated on my with 2 or 3 girls before we broke up. IT SUCKED and HURT. Why the fuck would it make any difference if that were with someone of the opposite sex? I guess people think if someone "goes straight" - which they don't— it is somehow a far greater burn because society ignores the ex-gay bf/gf. But real life just doesn't work that way.

• Bisexual is code for "I'm gay but can't admit it to myself or others."

• [quote]Bitch, you don't think gay men or women cheat on each other or just "walk out the door"? Fuck my keyboard. That should read, [italic]...gay men or women cheat DON't Cheat on each other or just "walk out the door"? [/italic]

• [quote]Bisexual is code for "I'm gay but can't admit it to myself or others." Unless, of course they're OUT to their friend, family and co-workers. Then they're just... bisexuals. It happens.

• [quote] A friend of mine is dating a guy who identifies as gay. I am under the impression that gays are not trustworthy. Thoughts and opinions? Does this sound familiar, OP?

• Though it's possible for a bisexual to "just go the straight path," why would he or she? It's possible for gay men to "just go the straight path" too. Oscar Wilde was married with kids. But only deeply fearful, self-loathing, closeted gays or bisexuals would go straight in this day and age. It's like being ambidextrous and tying one hand behind your back just to fit in with the majority of people who have a dominant hand.

• Hmmm. Thanks Suzanne for telling my folks.

  Kyle%20Westheimer

• I have three bisexual friends. They are all wonderful people. Biphobia is whack.

• Every time I hear the 'bisexuals aren't trustworthy" line I have to laugh. The person saying it is usually the most back-handed, gossipy, cheating, lying and bigoted motherfucker ever. I love my gay brothers and sisters but assuming that the trustworthiness of someone is all about what gender they're fucking or might have some potential to fuck is just ludicrous and ignorant. It wasn't too long ago that gay people were and ARE considered untrustworthy just for being gay. The idea that gays could be blackmailed and would give away all the military's secrets was the bullshit line that kept us from serving openly. And the back-stabbing seductress bi/Lesbian who stalks men and ruin's live, is a trop still used in tv and movies way too often ... so can we PLEASE, please, please not spread anymore stereotypical bullshit about how sexual orientation and determines one's persona character and morals.

• I'm bisexual I'm attracted to both men and women. No, I have never cheated, and never will. Unlike those other soul-less, selfish, sluts, I don't lie to people. If im in a relationship then the only person I will have will have sex with is that 1 person. Period. Why bother to waste my time and spend effort in a relationship with you if I only want to have sex with other people? I grew up with divorced parents and watched hem both lie to each other, and everyone else (including me). I have a brother who is quite a bit older than me and I watched him serial-cheat his way through the best years of his life. Ive seen what lieing and cheating does, it creates such false, unloving, and hostile environments. Grow the fuck up and stop giving bisexuals a bad rep.

  Let%20me%20get%20this%20out

• [quote]Bisexual is code for "I'm gay but can't admit it to myself or others." That is an unequivocally and embarrassingly dated assumption, even if it only dates to the span of a few decades in human history.

• Thank you, r10. Well said!

• Biphobia is great, especially against bi men. Keep on fighting the good fight, gays and straights!

  Earth

• Bi women are cool, but bi guys are cunts. Firstly the while, "I'm attached to the person" is fucking bullshit. Bi guys are as turned by the thought of eating pussy, they sexual desire women. No matter how hard a guy tries he can never satisfy a bisexual man's desire for sex with women. I dated two bi guys, they were the two worst relationship experiences of my life.

• Listening to today's American gay men talk about this stuff is like going back to some Victorian era that never was. Bisexuality does not exist! And the very idea of cheating... well clutch my pearls!

• How pathetic gay people long the target of discrimination are trying to look for a group they can rag-on so they won't feel like bottom of the heap. A cheater will cheat on you whether gay, straight or bi.

• Everything can be an issue that leads to a break up if you want.

• Bisexuals are no more or less likely to leave their lovers, to cheat or be faithful, or to be monogamous than unisexuals. Which is not saying a great deal, but it is what it is.

• R2, you're a tool. I'm bi - I assure you, I'm sexually attracted to both sexes.

• [quote]Why the fuck would it make any difference if that were with someone of the opposite sex? Because being with someone of the opposite sex is so much easier and isn't as demonized or disfavored as being with someone of the same sex? Nothing about bisexuals' capacity for faithfulness per se, but many, many people, especially as they grow older, will choose an easier path. When my sister and her young children and I go out shopping or whatever, there's no reason for people not to think we're a young married couple. Our treatment everywhere (and this is in a big progressive city) is a world apart from the way my partner and I get treated. Everyone is so much nicer, so much more conversational, more cheerful. I'm always like "Wow. This must be what life is like for straight people." And I'm sure that's just the tip of the iceberg. If you're perfectly happy choosing either--and one is a very challenging, isolating, difficult path and the other is an easy one with constant rewards and approbation from family, work, society ==most people will choose the second. I'd love to see stats about how many 'bisexuals' end up with a partner of the same sex for the long-term. I bet the number is very, very small indeed. If OP's friend is looking for a long-term relationship, OP is right to be concerned for him.

• Being gay is hard, like being broke is hard. There are people who fall for someone who is broke and jobless and homeless, but most people don't. BIsexuals are, in the end, people, and most people who have a choice--who are perfectly happy choosing either path--will end up choosing the easier one.

• This is a dated assumption and the people who make it are mostly older folks. Bisexual and pansexual people exist and a lot of younger people aren't hung up on these labels.

• We are still hung up on these labels, R22. As long as people somehow differ, there will be labels.

  Twentysomething

• I had a bisexual FB for over a decade. I was in my late 20's and he was in his early 40's. He would just show up at my apt and I would let him in. Beautiful body. Handsome man. I was young and stupid so i put up with it. He would tell me about the women he was seeing/fucking and even suggested a 3 way with a woman. I finally (after 12 yrs) got sick of him and ignored his calls and wouldn't let him in when he showed up unannounced. He eventually married a woman 20 yrs his junior who, ironically, looks like a man. Boyish figure, masculine chisled features. Strange. Anyway, he's 67 now and I wish him well but, after him, I avoid bisexuals.

  Ken

• My twin brother is bi. He loves ultra feminine women and ultra masculine men. His male preference is for a muscular hairy beast with a tiny cock. Hates big dicks, loves body hair. In women it is the ultra feminine types that get him. I do not try to understand. I don't have to, he is what he is.

• Im sorry, but Im with r14 on this one. Bi guys like the idea of getting a man off, but they are just pretending your hole is a vagine when they fuck you. Some gay men are into that so they get caught up with bi dudes. And dont find out a bi guy wants kids. You might as well pack it up then; he is most definitely going to end up settling for vagina.

• [quote]a lot of younger people aren't hung up on these labels. Yes. NOW they aren't, but in 20 years, look at that same group of 'pansexual young people without any hang-ups', and you'll mostly find people who are straight and married and absorbing all the advantages of a hetero life. You do realize they said all these same things about the Woodstock generation, yes? You know, the ones who voted for Prop 8?

• [quopte] Bi guys like the idea of getting a man off, but they are just pretending your hole is a vagine when they fuck you Thanks for that fourth grade assessment. Sexuality is complex and all over the map. Everyone here seems to want to shove people into Column A or Column B and it just isn't so in the real world. Yes, there are completely heterosexual people and completely homosexual people. And then there's a lot of people who fall someone on a continuum in between.

• Bisexuality equals Homosexual pleasure plus Heterosexual privilege.

• Good one, R29!

• Ok r28. I want some of the bi guys that post here to be honest and tell us what happens in your sexual thoughts when you are penetrating another man.

• R29, I am a bisexual who was one half of a lesbian couple, and we were one of several test-cases that meant the UK had to change their laws on same-sex immigration in 1999. I was trapped in the UK for nearly 5 years and could not visit my dying grandfather. Where was (and is) my heterosexual privilege? I put my neck out as a mere bisexual who openly fought for her lesbian relationship. Bisexual people suffer just as much from homophobia as gay people. Don't you fucking get that?

• You don't understand, my male friend claims to be straight, but dating a bisexual man.

• When I'm with a man, I'm very dominant and forceful. It's about control, domination and power, but it will be with someone who likes it that way. When I masturbate, it's usually about women. When I'm with a woman, I'm thinking about domination as well, but have to keep it in my head, most girls aren't into it.

• R25 It's interesting that you say that. I'm a bi woman, and I like ultra femme women and ultra masculine men, as well.

• R35 maybe extremes are part of the brain chemistry.

• Bi woman here who is herself ultra-femme, but I only like androgynes (either gender). I like the blending of traits, and the rebellious genderfuck of it all - not the extremes.

• I'm a guy and I've dated a couple of bisexual men. The first was when I was 21 and he was 32. He was the perfect, cosmopolitan type - penthouse on CPW, 2-seater Mercedes parked on the street, house in the Hamptons. Handsome, sexy, British, but somehow unknowable. He was with women before me and after me. They weren't knockouts but they all had "sweet" personalities and seemed to be genuinenly nice people. It took me a long time to see that he was a narcissist. As well as a 3 on the Kinsey scale. He liked to get fucked by men and liked to fuck the women. The second guy I met when I was 35 and he was 29. He was with a woman for 7 years. The first time we got into bed together, he got on his back, lifted his legs in the air, and begged me to fuck him.

• [quote]The first time we got into bed together, he got on his back, lifted his legs in the air, and begged me to fuck him. That is so gay.

• It's so British.

• [quote] That is so gay. What monosexual people don't get is that we are just as gay as you are, and we are at the same time just as straight as straight people. It's not a divided self. We are 100% gay and 100% straight. Dimensional, not taxonomic.

• if a guy identifies as bi, he's GAY. if you are a straight woman or a bi woman, do not mess with a bi guy. ever. healthwise, it's a big risk and you could end up with HIV/Aids. Everyone knows guys are hoes and everyone knows a guy who likes dick is GAY. don't be fooled. find yourself another.

  anonymous

• when you are bi, you are NOT as straight as anyone...or as gay as anyone. There is always a slant toward one particular gender. You may like men immensely, and you may like woman just as intensely, but theres always one that you prefer over the other - even if its just by a little. You may be 100% into that person male or female when you're with them but in the end, you DO prefer one gender over the other. It's a fact.

  anonymous

• I don't think we're arguing, R43. It's about the one-on-one interaction with an individual being 100%.

• R30, R29's tired line is at least 40 years old.

• It amazes me how bisexuals whine that they are being discriminated against, and they go through the same hardships that gay people go through. That is a complete lie because bisexuals can marry, have children, and live lives which fits in with society and with the majority of the population. Gay people don't have more than one choice how they can live their lives. Bisexuals are extremely selfish and users! I know of many gay men who date nothing but bisexual men because they claim they act more like men. 90% of the bisexual guys that they were having short term sexual flings with either had girlfriends or were married and had children. There are a lot of bisexual men WHO ARE NOT FAITHFUL TO THEIR WIVES NOR GIRLFRIENDS! I knew a guy who was bisexual who loved using women and dumping them after he had sex with them. The pig thought it was fun and bragged about it. Also there were a couple of women he supposedly was getting serious with ,yet he lusting after guys at the same time. He once said when he was with a woman he would have to tell himself, he can't be with a guy because he was dating a woman. He could never be faithful to men nor to women.And as a result, he hurt a lot of people who fell in love with him. I'm no longer a friend of his because I don't like to associate with people who hurt and use others.

• Trustworthiness is not measured by one's sexual orientation. Maybe promiscuity.

• R47, Bisexuals are major sleaze!

• I've found bisexuals to often be major narcissists. Having sex with another man is the closest they get to fucking themselves. Then they go back to their wives. The gays who say bi's don't exist, obviously don't attract them. Bi's tend to like masculine good looking gays or other bi's.

• Yes, there are men and women who love the sexy got to have it manly energy of a man and the soft, ultra sensitive highly sexed turned on energy of a woman, sometimes at the same time, who love giving pleasure to both sexes, and love the feel of a huge (or smaller) strong (or not so strong) man and a soft sensual (or hard bodied) woman, who love the soft folds of a pussy and the throbbing hard sensuality of a cock, who love the gorgeous lines of a male body and the undulating soft athletic figure of a female body, who love to feel a hard cock explode from their expert touch and caress and warm mouth and love to drive women crazy with their warm hands and soft tongues, their pussies quivering from the tickle of their knowing fingers, who love the taste of hard nipples in their mouths when they are attached to sexy pecs or soft pliable natural tits. Why is this so fucking hard to believe? Is it just that you can't handle that someone else's sexuality can be different than your own but equally valid? And no loving all of that, doesn't mean its any less challenging to commit to one person. Giving up countless other potential partners is just as challenging whether there are 7,000,000,000 or 3,500,000,000. There is a law of diminishing turn when the difference is incalculable to a lifetime of sexual adventure. Love is different than sex whether one is straight, gay or bi. Grow up and realize that there are more things on earth than might be dreamt of in your own individual sex profile.

• I agree with R50, even though her sub-Nifty first paragraph (no more "throbbing" cocks and "quivering" pussies, please!) is cringe-inducing.

• It might induce a cringe from you, but get others hot. Everyone's different as Kinsey said. Which was my point.

• Love is different than sex whether one is straight, gay or bi. R50, wrong! sex is suppose an expression and communication of love between two people. The other from is language. BTW, I have read that Kinsey was a compete twisted creep who was full of shit!

• [quote] The other from is language. Tee hee. Cheap shot aside, most people in history who have had long-lasting theoretical points have also had a twisted, creepy side that was full of shit. Throw Kinsey, the person, away if you want to. It won't have much effect upon the fact that some individuals can experience a spectrum of both sexual attraction and love...without having anything "wrong" with them.

• The problem is not so much bisexuals (a generally smug & narcissistic but harmless lot in my experience) but the closet-cases who claim bisexuality because they're too scared to come out without an escape clause.

• great thread. live and let live. folks will usually do what they want to do anyway. listen to your heart and set boundaries when you have to. love is love.

• [quote] the closet-cases who claim bisexuality because they're too scared to come out without an escape clause. So basically you're saying that the problem is not bisexuals but homosexuals.

• No, r57. I'm saying the problem is with "the closet cases who claim bisexuality because they're too scared to come out without an escape clause". That doesn't apply to all homosexuals by any means.