I think everyone has a bit of an issue with loving with themselves (then again I could be wrong). When did you start loving yourself. How did you deal with the issue?
I've always loved me. If I don't, who will?
Funny you mention this, OP. I have been working hard on changing my thinking in the last year or so. It's really hard, because thoughts are habits, simply put. So many people who have goals set, or think they want to do something, they automatically tell themselves that they are "imperfect" or not the best they could be until they achieve that goal (working out, getting a better job, meeting the right guy, going on a trip). I finally started telling myself last year, after years of telling myself I needed to improve who I am, and feeling incomplete, that I was actually just fine the way I am. Sure, I can still improve things, but it's not the end of the world of I don't achieve everything I want. I have goals, I reach some, I don't reach others. It's not a big deal.
I'm 34 years old, and I was out for a walk recently. I had a profound moment when I was thinking about who I was as a person. I said to myself, "I actually kind of like who I am." This was the first time I'd ever said it to myself.
OP, it helps if you don't try to "love yourself", but "value yourself".
It's hard to really love yourself if you're fixated on your flaws, but much simpler to value yourself. You have to value yourself to get anything done or to make any changes, and it's comparatively simple to put into effect. Don't abuse youself mentally or physically, or work on cutting down the abuse.
Is this thread about self hate in general or self-hate specifically among the gays OP?