Looks like Lindsay Lohan picked a good day to skip court. The trouble-magnet actress was a no-show in a Santa Monica courtroom Friday. What she missed: a 20-minute pretrial hearing in which Judge James R. Dabney repeatedly shot down her attorney and even called into question his basic lawyering skills. Said attorney, Mark Jay Heller, asked the judge to dismiss Lohan's case altogether … and that was met with a resounding "no." The judge added that any motion to dismiss the trio of misdemeanor charges against Lohan, including lying to police following a June 2012 car crash, should have been brought up during her arraignment, and now it is too late. After Heller, who is based in New York and not even licensed in the state of California, continued to bumble his way along with some confusing legalese, the judge cut him off. Dabney said that the lawyer was "lacking any conformity to California law and this concerns me … You have not background as far as I know in criminal law." But that did not stop Heller from trying another tactic. He then asked the judge and prosecutors to push back Lohan's trial … and that was met with a similar result. "The city of Santa Monica is prepared to begin this trial on March 18," said city prosecutor Terry White, referring to the scheduled start date. Undeterred, Heller tried to see if the first week of April would work. "My client would benefit from the opportunity of having that time to pursue certain avenues we are endeavoring to pursue that would benefit her," for example speaking to young, underprivileged and/or troubled girls, as omg! has reported. "Justice is always tempted with mercy and compassion," he went on, adding that he believed the court "doubted" Lohan's "worthiness" of mercy and compassion. Pushing her court date back would "enhance her ability that she is worthy of mercy and compassion." Once again, Dabney denied the request and ruled that March 18 was still the trial date. Shockingly, Heller then asked him what day of the week that was. (For the record, it's a Monday.) "Someone needs to come in and assist you with knowledge in California law," warned Dabney, who added that by going ahead with Heller as her lawyer, Lohan is "waiving" any future claims that she is not being represented properly, since Heller, the judge said, is not "competent" in California law. Lohan was not required to attend the hearing on Friday, but she is expected to be in court on March 18. Hours before Heller was in court on her behalf, she clearly was not concerned with her legal issues. At 1 a.m. ET, she posted a photo on her Instagram page of herself in what appears to be a nightclub with the caption, "Hair much?" Two days before meeting in court, Heller had been trying to strike a deal with prosecutors. Although they were willing to allow Lohan to spend 90 days in "meaningful" rehab, she reportedly refused … believing that a lock-down facility is punishment, and of course, she doesn't think she did anything wrong. So now, she is really rolling the dice. The three misdemeanor charges carry potential jail sentences ranging from three months to a year. According to the Los Angeles Times, prosecutors are "taking a hard line" with Lohan since she has a "history of repeatedly disobeying court orders." Do you think she will get off lightly (once again) or have the book thrown at her?
Howard K. Stern
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