I want someone to wrap me in a blanket like a burrito.

And drop a Xanax in my mouth and roll me in front of a blazing fireplace. I want the windows covered with black plastic bags and earplugs inserted in my ears. But first, I need to pee.

• If you pee after wrapped in a blanket, you will be a wetback burrito.

• I would pee before the blanket wrapping.