Should anyone get married when one half in a large amount of debt?
Is it fair to the other person?
And yes, I'm talking about a gay marriage. One not recognized federally (yet.)
Is it advisable or should one wait until the debt is paid off?
no, it is not fair. marriage is not a requirement.
[quote] Should anyone get married when one half in a large amount of debt?
No, because his debt becomes your debt.
Yep. His debt will become your debt. There's a possibility his debt might last longer than your marriage.
Depends on the couple and the exact circumstances. Obviously, if the debt arose from his chronic negligence abd/or overspending, that would give me reason to reconsider if I really want to do this.
If you are thinking that the partner would have a responsibility for the other's debt, that would not happen. However, anything the two of you own together - and even half of your income, if this is a community property state - could be at risk to his creditors.
Lastly, if his credit rating is in the toilet as a result of his debts, consider this means you will have to be the "banker" for any future purchases, putting your own credit standing at risk if he doesn't pay his share.
[quote] If you are thinking that the partner would have a responsibility for the other's debt, that would not happen.
It depends on which country (or even state) the Op lives in.
If he is in an area or country where same-sex marriage is legal, then he would be on the hook for his hubby's debt.
Thanks Tax Troll. et al.
Now how does one tell someone they don't want marriage because of this without sounding totally crass?
I almost always under the impression that Tax Troll is Ciara's sockpuppet. You really got to hand it to him. He never does give up.
One of the big reasons marriages break up is related to finances, R6. If you can't be honest at the beginning about finances and money, it will not get better and will eventually interfere. Besides, you'll just add wedding debt to a growing pile of debt.
It's not crass. It's being realistic.
Also when you actually talk about money, things get better. It becomes managable then. And can eventually lead to a - you guessed it - stronger marriage.
Depends on the circumstances. There are risks involved. But there are also potential solutions which will allow for paying the debt off and entering wedded bliss sooner. If one or both of you is making a lot of money, there are different ways of looking at this.
If the fiance not in debt can afford to pay the debt, perhaps on the understanding that it be paid back to him, that could help. Interest will stop accumulating, at least at the exorbitant rates it presently is. And neither of you will end up being sued for the debt.
Sometimes, two can live more cheaply than one, particularly if you are combining households. One property might be able to be sold, with the debt paid off (especially if the property being sold is that of the spouse in debt).
And paying off a large amount of debt might be a much better idea than blowing $50,000 on a wedding.
Of course, if you are not in that kind of income bracket and one of you owns a shitload of money, then it's quite a different story.
Caution is advised.
"Now how does one tell someone they don't want marriage because of this without sounding totally crass?"
"Now dearest, I would marry you -- really, I would -- but you're both a spendthrift and a deadbeat and anyone would be a fool to marry you.
"We can still fuck around, but marry?! Tschuh … unh! unh! "