If you were allowed to make a law, what law would it be?
I'd make it so that celebrities aren't paid as much as they are and more money is funneled toward the healthcare industry.
People on government assistance shouldn't be allowed to vote
People who can't afford to have children anywhere in the world cannot breed and should be sterilized.
Ban male circumcision (just as underage female cutting is illegal) unless the male is 18 or even 21 or unless there were a compelling medical reason, which is also relatively rare. By the time the male is an adult, he would realize cutting is barbraic and unnecessary, and he would enjoy having a foreskin.
The highest paid executive (or any other person) at a company cannot make more than 100 times that of the lowest paid person (part-timers and contractors included). Pay is defined as the full compensation package (annual income, benefits, bonuses, stock, etc). When correcting the imbalance, at least 30% of the delta being closed must be made up of raising the wages/bonuses on the poorest employees ... the rest can be done by cutting the compensation packages of the highest paid.
Currently it's nearly 500 times, so bringing it down to 100 times (while still outrageous) would be a vast improvement.
Ban the banning of circumcision, should it ever be banned. Head hiders: who needs 'em?
Ban the Ban and Bans!
R1 and R3 are vile.
Force every man in the world to be circumcized.
Universal Single Payer health care.
force every man to give me head
Force R9 and all idiots like him to have their dicks cut off, because they're obviously too fucking stupid to own one
it may concern:
When a lady loves a gentleman, he must love her in return."
to wit, to woo:
"When a lady feels affectionate, then the man must follow through."
Here's another law we women'll do our best to legislate:
"It shall be completely criminal for a man to break a date. Each offender shall be rapidly thrown in jail where he belongs."
Thus we'll write our Bill of Wrongs.
is waiting for.
Every unrequited lover will be grateful when it
meets the full approval of the House and Senate,
Such enthusiasm as you never saw will greet my lovely law!
In re: my law;
with the help of women everywhere we shall outlaw bachelorhood!
What's more, in lieu...
Marie, before you're through, I've got
to say; if you have got to outlaw anything
you should outlaw in-laws, too!
I'm concerned with what the man must do.
"Every girl shall have a honeymoon
which shall last at least a year.
During which aforesaid honeymoon
every care shall disappear.
Ipso facto, let the government
get the bride and groom alone.
After that they're on their own."
herein (there-out, and furthermore)
is waiting for.
We are going to rid the country of contempt of courtship,
Legally replacing it with davenportship
Such enthusiasm as you never saw will greet my lovely law!
I totally agree with R3 and R4.
Make a law where idiotic people can't make laws about what others can and can't do.
A $100 fine will be imposed on anyone who does not stay to the right when walking on a sidewalk or in a public area such as a park.
Women on public assistance will have their tubes tied after second child.
Men on public assistance will have a vasectomy after their second child.
Greedy people should be fined for greedy acts and the money given to the poor.
All elections publicly funded. No company or corporation may donate to any political cause. No individual may donate more than $2000 in any given election cycle to any given politician (i.e. all donations to all politicians in a given four year period may not amount to more than $2000). No individual may donate more than $2000 per year to any political party.
Capital Gains taxed at the same level as income for everyone.
A financial transaction tax of 0.1% on every stock trade.
Estate tax of 50% on all inheritance over $2Million (the value of family farms and small private local businesses exempt from the calculation).
Banning of private, for-profit prisons. Immediate disbarment and jail time for any Judge found to have declared guilty and sent anyone to a private prison they themselves had invested in.
Immediate re-instatement of the Glass-Steagall act, and breaking up of all big banks into private savings and investment entities.
Immediate closure of all tax loopholes on corporations and the wealthy that encourage them to ship jobs over-seas, or stash profits and wealth in over-seas "tax-havens".
Immediate end to all federal government subsidies to profitable fossil fuel industries.
After single payer healthcare:
Reverse the Hyde Amendment and have government fully fund abortions.
17% Flat tax on income and VAT on purchases over $1,000.
Why wait until the second, R18 and R19?
That's an easy question for me ...
If I had the power to make a law, I'd require that ALL elected officials be required to do their own annual income tax returns, with paper forms and a pen (No software, no professional preparer.) Want to bet you'd see REAL simplification of our tax code, really fast?? :)
As it stands, our federal elected representatives get free professional tax preparation as a Congressional benefit. They have no idea how ridiculously confusing they are making this shit, and no incentive to do otherwise.
All hot men required by law to be naked in public.
I would have sex with Turkey men
All male public figures (political, sports, entertainment, etc) would be required to post cock shots. It would save me hours per week and we would truly understand some of the politics we see.
Pass the DREAM act
Pass the American Jobs act
Repeal the Patriot act
Pass a new amendment obliterating the "Citizens United" decision, and repealing corporate "personhood".
Break up the big media companies.
The Equal Rights Amendment.
Ryan Gosling would be required to make gay porn.
Any television show that labels themselves as a "news" show would be required to cite their sources and state only actual facts.
Anything that is interpretation of those facts and conclusions drawn from those facts would be clearly stated as such.
[quote]I'd make it so that celebrities aren't paid as much as they are
So you want the people who make the money for the corporations not to get a cut of the accrued revenue, so the suits get to keep trillions made off celebrities' backs? I guess you're pro-corporate Fascism then.
Christopher Romansky would be required to make gay porn.
R1 40% of people who receive food stamps have full time jobs. 80% of the people who work at Walmart collect food stamps. Those people all pay taxes. If you collect unemployment benefits, you have to pay tax on those benefits. Unless you live in public housing, a person on public assistance pays property tax (either directly if they own, indirectly if they rent).
What was it Patrick Henry said about taxation without representation?
Not quite the same thing. They actually do have representation as they can vote unless they are undocumented or felons.
All pets would be required to be spayed or neutered after one optional breeding cycle.
Anyone who abandons a pet to an animal shelter should have to do community service for the shelter for one year, or pay for them to take the animal.
R21 get my vote.
All personal assets over $1 billion would be seized.
R40 Are you fucking serious?
Reinstate the "Fairness Doctrine"
All members of congress, and all wall-street traders and all CEOs of all publicly traded corporations and all private businesses with revenues over $1Billion annually would be subjected to regular drug testing. Every positive result would require a $1million fine. Third strike means abdication of position and permanent banning from holding a similar position ever again.
Once that's in place for ten years or so, THEN we can talk about drug-testing welfare recipients.
I would create an administrative order in my judicial circuit forcing all attorneys, members of law enforcement, witnesses, etc., to address judges as "Mary" (or possibly "Helen") instead of "Your Honor" or "Judge."
I so long to be able to say in court, "With all due respect, MARY, I object!"
R45 I am so sick today, and you are making me laugh, MARY, which is making me cough, MARY. CMAO.
I'm not a legal scholar, but I do indeed believe that a Supreme Court decision in favor of gay marriage would make such marriage available in every state.
I hope that lawyers will soon chime in.
Well, I'm glad I could make you laugh, R46, but I'm sorry for causing the coughing fit. I hope you feel better.
"Come [italic]on[/italic], MARY, if you allow this line of questioning, it will only serve to inflame the jury! This is nothing other than allowing prejudice, MARY, pure and simple!"
I would be the happiest gay man in the world if I could actually say that in court.
Sorry, wrong thread.
I object MARY!
I would make comprehensive sex education compulsory in all American high schools.
I'm so tired of those conservative counties in red states that legislate "abstinence only", therefore precluding any real discussion of human sexuality. Too many teen pregnancies and STDs result from such a "bury our heads in the sand" stance.
As part of the law that I propose, free condoms in all American high schools would be mandatory. "The Pill" would be freely available through gynecologists for girls over 14, with or without parental consent.
Let's face the facts about teenage sexuality
That's really good, R51. I support your proposed law 100%.
Term limits for congress: two terms as Senator (12 years) or six terms as Congressperson (12 years). No more career politicians.
No member of Congress, or the Presidential Administration, shall be allowed to lobby Congress for a period of 12 years after serving in Congress.
... or the Administration.
The 535 people we've have sent to Washington to represent us must relinquish their current medical plan and be required to participate in ObamaCare.
That all lawyers, judges and law students clean public toilets for free on weekends.
And that the millions in NYC pick up litter from subway tracks and trap rats too.
Illegal to be mean to one another
R43, do you mean, "martial law"?
Rolling eyes/grammar queen
To expand on what R56 said... all laws passed by Congress must affect Congress people equally as it does the public at large. They should be required to use the same health care, have the same tax rules, follow the same laws, etc. No exceptions for them.
But beyond that, no Congress person should be allowed to invest in the stock market (it amounts to 'insider trading'), or publish books, or otherwise reap monetary benefit while in office. They need to focus on their jobs.
Too many people (mostly republicans) see election to Congress as a cash-cow, not a solemn honor and responsibility to represent their constituents.
Can we stop lobbying?
Tax any and every church that get in any way involved in politics.
R59, you don't realize that "Marshall Law" is an old DL intentional misuse like pron, cak and graxy. Many people used to misuse it instead of the correct martial law, so it was affectionately adopted at DL. There even used to be an authenticated poster named Marshall Law.
Strict limits on campaign spending for Congress along with a two-term limit for Congress.
Today, as soon as someone wins an election, their entire focus is on raising money for the next election.
Theists are not human beings. Their mass public torture mutilation is not merely legal, but is actually required.
Mandatory gay-sex education in High School.
I would like to do away with all political parties.
Death Penalty for people who park their cars diagonally across parking lines so that neighboring cars won't "ding" their doors.
Mandatory required castration for all right-wing religious gun-nuts. Any off-spring they might have had prior to the castration would be given post-natal abortions.
I think actors should be paid AFTER the movie opens... &/or bombs
All those in the top 2% financially in this country would have to get all their ill gotten gains back to the USA and then give 95% of it to the poor, some directly and most to programs for the poor.
They would never again be allowed to keep anything more than 15 thousand a year so they would know what it feels like to live like those on minimum wage, SSI, low amounts of SS, etc.
They would also have to give up everything they own including most of their clothes and the food in their homes and move into slums. Seeing is how they could never again get to keep more than 15 grand a year they will never be able to move from them.
Male nudity would be legalized. College wrestlers and swimmers just compete nude.
... and male gymnists.
It would be legal to kill paparazzi with your car.
Before being able to register to vote, one would have to take a test that would determine if they have a basic understanding of how this country's government works and such. If they fail, they can't vote, but they can retake the test during the next election cycle.
Anyone convinced that cream cheese isn't cheese but a dessert would be subjected to public stoning.
Death penalty for making "duck face" in any photo, ever.
Retroactive to the 80s.
R75, perhaps you should take your own test first. What you're proposing is unconstitutional.
I'd ban Rush Limbaugh from any employment by anyone, and see how long it takes him to starve to death.
R35 current figures make it 87% of folks on food stamps work full time.
Not only do religious institutions lose their tax-free status in America, they would be taxed at a 75% bracket.
Make comparative religion classes mandatory in basic school, so everybody can learn how all that stuff was fiction made up by power hungry men.
Institute a 2-tier public school system.
Tier 1 would be for students who use the school for its intended purpose and who treat their fellow students and teachers well. Students would have a great deal of freedom and academic standards would be high (or at least much progress from your current level would be expected). Tier 1 would be generously funded and have all sorts of (voluntary) arts and sports extracurriculars.
Tier 2 would be a boot camp style institution for the unsocialized savages that make school life impossible for their fellow students and teachers. Tier 2 would be a rigid somewhat miserable existence where your only rewards would come from academic progress and a kind and generous attitude toward peers. Students could earn their way back to tier 1 with a year or two of sustained civility. Tier 2 would have no sports.
Animal cruelty would be a felony, not a mere misdemeanor, with harsh fines and prison time.
And maybe we get to do to the person whatever it was they did to the animal.
Tax the church.
No more corporations buying off lawmakers.
No more incest between Big Pharma and the corrupt/inept FDA (fucking murderers).
No more direct-to-consumer advertising of Rx drugs.
If you're on public assistance = tubes tied.
No more residential property sales allowed to foreign citizens. Want to buy a house here? Get your papers.
Oh--and I'm taking away your guns.
Break up the food monopolies and get their representatives out of the FDA. They are making us fat and sick with all the chemicals and GMOs banned in the rest of the world.
Same with banks, big pharma..
Corporations should not have influence over the regulatory agencies that oversee them. You would think this would be obvious and cause for outrage if not followed.
Lazy corporate owned media will not report on this.
[quote]If you're on public assistance = tubes tied.
That's sexist (and likely a little racist), as well as less than effective.
No government member may be allowed to participate in a vote to raise their own salary.
As part of Diversity programs, universities would be required to have a Right Wing professor for ever Left Wing professor, so students will be taught both sides and not continued to be brainwashed by the Libs.
Politicians we sent to Washington would be required to participate in ObamaCare, relinquishing the lifetime Golden Health Plan for them and their families.
Facts and logic have a left wing bias, R90.
R90 = ignorant moron
Lying in politics,business or any matter of public interest or discourse would be actionable.
Oh, and complete and systemic campaign finance reform..get the goddamn lobbyists and corporate money OUT of our electoral system!