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Not being able to become attracted to men of one's own race...anyone else have this problem...

I have a problem. I am unable to be attracted to men of my own race. It's a very long story. I have some self-loathing issues. So. I waste a lot of my time going through various scenarios in my head about how I will get a white mate. It's absolutely time-consuming and it gets me nowhere, because I know that I shouldn't find a boyfriend just because he is white, but I cannot be attracted to guys of my own race. Plus, I have a feeling that the marriage/courtship is doomed to failure. Just a feeling. So. Any advice on how to deal with this would be much appreciated or if you've experienced this would be much appreciated.

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