From your observation, at what age do most men and women lose their looks?
From what observe in real life, what age do most men and women lose their looks, i.e. they are no longer desirable to you. You walk right past them without giving them a second look?
Totally depends on the person. Some people's features suite youth and some people's features suite age imo.
By in real life do you mean to check out or to hook up with?
By 35 definitively. Men can hang on till 40 if they work out and eat right. After 40 the teeth are yellow, and the stomach bulges, the hair on their head is now in their ears, they don't wash properly and they fart.
R1, to check out. I know hook up would be at any age...since there are people who will do anything for money.
From what the deranged DL elderqueens say, they never lose their looks because 20 year olds are constantly cruising them.
I know plenty of twenty-somethings that fart and don't wash properly.
Personally speaking 50 is when things start to go downhill. The body gets soft, the eyes get old looking, just not the same person anymore.
Well, I'm 48 but I look 23!
It's happening to me now.
30 to 40. Depending on genetics, lifestyle, and state of health.
Unless you're black. For them, it would be 60.
My African American and Asian contemporaries look great. I (Irish) look ten years older than they do.
Anyone not yet 50 has a bit of a nasty surprise in store. Better get your head straight, because this even will test you.
Thanks, r13. I'm 47 but have been told I look 28. Seriously. So if I keep on this path, I won't start losing my looks like I turn 69. Thank the lawd for great genetics.
My sister and I were looking at family photos of a 4th of July BBQ she had taken over the years. When my parents and aunts and uncles were in their late 30s and their 40s, they looked basically the same. But in their mid 50s, it changed. They were no longer young. Their faces changed and their bodies changed.
I'm 48 but people say I look a lot younger. Of course I'm petite but I got my Dad's skin and he's very smooth and unwrinkled for his age. I don't have any crows feet yet. The only thing I've really noticed is a softening of the chin and jaw, which pisses me off to no end. I also have rosacea so I tend towards pinkness a lot. All in all I look good for my age.
I"m 41 and I got carded the other night, but the lighting was dim in the bar. forget about aging. if you're smiling and happy, you'll look way younger. people obsess, it just makes them look and feel older.
For me, it will probably be around 50 as well. I've noticed the softness in the jaw and the drooping above the eye.
I know I can get it "fixed" and I would like to but it just seems like such a waste of money. Has anyone had it done? How long does it take? How painful is it?
"I"m 41 and I got carded the other night..."
r18 neglected to mention that what they had asked him for was his AARP card.
Totally depends on the person and genetics.
My ex is 57 and still gets hit on all the time. He's a silver fox John Slattery type and just looks great.
Whereas a good friend of mine was the prettiest boy I had ever met when we were 22. Guys fell over themselves around him.
But now, at 40, he looks like complete shit I hate to say. Much of it probably has to do with his diet and lifestyle - the guy still smokes and parties about 4 times a week. But his type of prettiness in general doesn't age well.
Women get the shit end of the stick. Around 35 they're considered old. Though that is mostly an American perception. I think French women are fucking gorgeous, especially as they get older (Deneuve, Binoche, Huppert).
I'm a she, R20.
There will be a big slide at 50, regardless of how you look. Doesn't mean you won't be attractive, there will just be pretty amazing changes.
I think extra weight makes people look old and frumpy. being thinner helps a lot.
Black don't crack. I'm 48 and people think I'm in my thirties.
I believe it, R23. I only hope I don't really care anymore at that point.
I think women look better with a LITTLE weight. Too thin and they look gaunt and haggard.
"I know plenty of twenty-somethings that fart and don't wash properly."
Use "who," dear.
"I know plenty of twenty-somethings WHO fart and don't wash properly."
Pop quiz tomorrow, you ignorant bloody git!
Agree, r27. Too think and they look like death gnawing on a cracker.
Are you ready to just stop having sex at 50, r26? I'm in my late 40's and would like to still be sexually active in my 50's.
"After 40 the teeth are yellow, and the stomach bulges, the hair on their head is now in their ears, they don't wash properly and they fart"
Not sure why you connect middle aged guys with not washing properly. If anything, the younger guys I've known tend to be more lax about hygiene than most older guys.
I think it really depends on the person. Harrison Ford is like 70 but if he walked up to me on the street and made a pass at me I would go for it!
no, I'm not ready to stop having sex. guess I'll have to diet and dress up forever ;)
did you see Halle Berry's body at the Oscars? she's in her late forties, isn't she? it's a different landscape now. if you pamper yourself, you can look good for a lot longer. not forever, though.
r32, I know you had me in mind when you posted that.
Joan Van Ark
"did you see Halle Berry's body at the Oscars? she's in her late forties, isn't she? it's a different landscape now. if you pamper yourself, you can look good for a lot longer. not forever, though"
Yeah, I disagree with the poster who said women lose their looks at 35. It depends on the woman. Some women start to look haggard in their 20s if they bake in the sun and do drugs or booze it up a lot (look at Lindsay Lohan) but others can look "hot" well into middle age. I know lots of young straight guys who think Sofia Vergara and Halle Berry are hot and they are middle aged women.
I did, Joan, you are fucking fabulous! ;)
For me it was 60. Even as a smoker, I held on, thanks mostly to my genes. I had a square jaw, angular face, and high cheekbones. But now my face is melting into my neck and there's not a damned thing I can do about it. Except accept it.
and Cate Blanchett and women like that. lots of beauties who are older. i think it's sexy. it's just a different buzz from being a 20-something, but it's not bad.
I'm going to ignore all the celebrity examples and just focus on real life for the OP... For most people it's the mid to late 40s when the eyes and neck start a downward decline. You can keep a fit body with exercise, and hair is completely dependent on genetics rather than age. But eyes and neck are really the 2 spots where people show their age. And there is very little to be done about either of those areas.
Great question, OP.
For many, it all depends on many attributes: genetics, environment and living a healthy lifestyle. I was lucky to have great genetics, an easy-breezy life and the will and passion to take care of myself.
I'm 58 but get confused for 19 all the time; all the time. But, lately I have been getting confused for 8.
Yesterday, I went out to lunch with a 25 year old co-worker of mine. While we were at the restaurant, this woman, who was an old associate of my co-worker friend comes over to our table to say hello to her old colleague. She then introduced herself to me and asked her friend if I was her son. I said, "Yes". She asked me what grade I was in and I said, "Third". She said she couldn't believe how much I have grown and she remembers just like yesterday when my friend was getting ready for maternity leave. My friend and I laughed about it after the woman left. I told her, "I get confused for being a teen or toddler all the time. And, that's because I work out seven days a week, eat healthy, don't smoke or drink, use Regenerist, get deep glycolic peels that burn off 7 layers of my skin five days a week, and I use L'OReal Sublime Bronze with SPF 30."
So, if you ask this question because you looked in the mirror this morning, OP, and didn't like what you saw, I'm sorry. Time goes by so fast. I'll get there one day. But, I'm only 8, so I have a very, very long time before I do.
12 years old
It is a well-known fact by one and all that women enter their "Bagdom" at age 50.
Men can be attractive at any age. You just take Mr. Cary Grant. He's in his '80s and he can have any woman he wants. Point out one woman who can do the same, and don't say Joan Collins. That woman belongs in a wax museum.
It's very hard to keep the weight off after 40. Your body wants to collect fat for the coming bad years. Gravity pulls the fat down and you start looking jowly. Bone mass starts waning and your face/skeleton shrinks.
But with all that, it's finally just genetics whether you look cute/older or fugly/older.
Whoever is saying fifties is nuts! Your fifties are when both men and women start to feel comfortable with themselves and with life. That happiness radiates from within--let it out, people!
Wise fifty-year olds attract younger folks who need consoling and encouragment. Being smarter and more compassionate makes you attractive.
Still, work out, eat right, and absolutely NO ALCOHOL!
Booze will kill your looks.
[quote]I think it really depends on the person. Harrison Ford is like 70 but if he walked up to me on the street and made a pass at me I would go for it!
If George W Bush made a pass at you, you'd go for it.
Fifty is hitting a brick wall hard. For both. Just wait boys.
I agree that it depends on the person. Some people look better when they get older, and vice versa. But even people who age well tend to lose their looks around mid-50s. My ex looked great until he hit 55, then each year thereafter he lost his looks more and more. He still thinks he looks like he's in his 40s. He looks like he's in his 50s, but he's early 60s so that's good IMO.
[quote]You just take Mr. Cary Grant. He's in his '80s and he can have any woman he wants.
OH, MY SIDES!!!!!!
At my 20 year high school reunion, I was astounded at how awful all the men looked while the women looked fabulous.
Whatever with the looks.
All I know is that men over 50 are damn good in bed.
It really is based on race, genetic and lifestyle choices (duh!) but in general:
Caucasian women - 40-43
Black women - 50s I guess. I know a grandmother in her 60s who look like she can pass for a late 40s/early50s
Asian women - same as white women 40-43; unfortunately, they look much more haggard and nothing like their young self
Caucasian men - mid 40s to 50s
Black men - same as black women; they age gracefully
Asian men - 40s; most tend to be very thin and so they look even more gaunt
[quote]Whoever is saying fifties is nuts! Your fifties are when both men and women start to feel comfortable with themselves and with life. That happiness radiates from within--let it out, people!
What you feel is different than how you look. There are very few people who are attractive in their 50s.
My theory on beautiful asians and their accelerated aging is this: we actually need sun on our faces. I know it sounds counter intuitive, but sunlight keeps you young and fresh.
This thing that asian women have with walking around with umbrellas hiding from the sunlight is not a great practice.
Also, we are not supposed to be eating pork. Asians live on pork.
43. Seriously. It doesn't mean you are unattractive after that, but that's when your face starts to use its youthful elasticity and fat padding. That's why so many middle-aged women start in with the cheek implants that make them look like chipmunks.
And all you people who are older than that claiming you get mistaken for being younger than you are, the people who are doing that are just being nice and/or have absolutely no frame of reference for what someone your age looks like.
I look my age. I accept that. But what I refuse to do, is to get treatments that will only make me look like an old fart who has had treatments.
Plastic surgery and botox just isn't workin' it for most cases. I'm starting to get embarrassed for people.
I would say white men look lose their looks faster than any other group. So many of them look like shit by their early 30's. If they're lucky and they take care of their looks (don't smoke, stay out of the sun, etc), then they might be able to keep their looks until their early 40's, but even the ones who take care of themselves seem to look like shit by 45. Not all of them, but a lot.
This is one advantage to being unattractive: you have no looks to lose.
Don't laugh. I work in a very large office, and I have a very large family. So, I observe people. I've discovered, if a person takes care of themselves, and I'm not talking about extreme measures, you can hold on to your looks until about mid-60's.
You will be an older version of yourself, but you will look really good. After about 65, most people start to fall apart, with rare exceptions.
What difference does it make?
Looking your age or losing your looks are two different categories. Some people look their best after 50. They have the money and the wisdom to figure out what works best for them. The fifth and sixth decade are when some people hit their peak overall. For some it is in their 20s. The latter is the cruel fate. Depends on the individual. Some people figure out the way to be untouchable.
Men are at their hairiest on their 58th birthday – not a day before and not a day after!
Life can step in. Like when you lose a partner - people age overnight.
Really fit, non-neurotic older people can be hot, if they're enjoying it.
Eating animals (G*R*O*S*S*), lack of morning sun, lack of self-investigation (bearing a heavy load), will shut your ass DOWN.
Wow, R64 has some great insights.
You sound like a very cool person.
I basically agree with what most others are saying, 50s for white people, 60s for people of color.
The primary thing that ages you is your skins interaction with the sun, people with more melanin in their skin are less affected by it.
R60=IS 60, and no, he ain't lookin' good.
R19 I had my eyes "done" at age 50. My eyelids weren't terribly droopy yet and the bags weren't as bad as Chris Noth pre-surgery but I didn't want to wait until they were so bad that it would be obvious. I think picking the right doctor is imperative. Mine was a board certified ophthalmologist who only did eyes and he was conservative. Surgery was no biggie, twilight anesthesia and about a week recovering. The scars took about a year to completely heal (slight pink line). I also had my teeth capped (8 on top, 8 on the bottom). As some one mentioned yellowing teeth make you look old. I had a bridge in the front from a childhood accident and my dentist talked me into getting the crowns. I get compliments on my smile all the time. Don't get them too white or they look fake. I also get my forehead Botoxed every 3 months to decrease the lines, not enough to make it look frozen like Marcia Cross.
I have 4 sisters who emphasized how important it was to use a good moisturizer and eye cream and I have for over 30 years. As some one mentioned the neck area can really show your age. I use a product called Nectifirm which has some pretty amazing before/after pictures (see link) and the same company (Revision) makes a great eye cream which helps with dark circles and has peptides to thicken the skin (Teamine Eye Cream).
"I know it sounds counter intuitive, but sunlight keeps you young and fresh."
Nope. Ask any dermatologist.
Men start losing their looks about 50
Women about 45
Men getting older is natural in our society. Women are tossed out like garbage.
Question: I'm 30 and right now I have no lines around my eyes, but I have several samples of eye cream that I haven't used yet because 1) I don't need them yet and 2) I'm too lazy to use it. So my question is do you think that eye creams really work and do you think they are good at preventing lines?
[quote]Men getting older is natural in our society. Women are tossed out like garbage.
Unless you're a gay man. They get tossed out like garbage even earlier than women.
It's sad R73. I don't disagree.
More and more reason women and gay men need to develop their personalities and not be reliant on beauty. It always fades - on the outside.
Well, ya know,
when you focus on others you don't have time to worry about your looks so much.
I cannot be attracted to an outwardly beautiful person with a shitty personality. Personality is half, or three-quarters of it for me. But then again, I am an older person.
It is not some hackneyed cliche that your inner beauty (or ugly) will come out and reveal itself.
"Men can be attractive at any age."
Not really. For every Cary Grant there are millions of men who look like shit. Plus, Grant didn't really "look" that great when he was old. All the older male movie stars (Redford, DeNiro, Hoffman, Nicholson, Clooney, etc.) don't look any better than actresses their age. They look like old men which is what they should look like.
[quote]43. Seriously. It doesn't mean you are unattractive after that, but that's when your face starts to use its youthful elasticity and fat padding. . . . [bold]And all you people who are older than that claiming you get mistaken for being younger than you are, the people who are doing that are just being nice and/or have absolutely no frame of reference for what someone your age looks like.[/bold]
What a crock.
Every single time this discussion comes up -- without fail -- some little Miss Know-it-All swoops in and declares with absolute, unfailing certitude that NO ONE -- absolutely NO ONE -- over 40 looks younger than their age. Without exception. Because she knows what all you anonymous people look like.
Sure, most people look their age; some look older. But I'd wager that most of us have known a few people who have managed to escape the ravages of time fairly unscathed. Not many, but some.
So, cut the crap with the "all you people."
I don't know about 40 being the age. I will say that 40 is when every year is a vandal! Still, I stay out of the sun, don't smoke and haven't had a drink since I was 24 (I'm 49 now), and I am not haggard at all, but clearly not 32 either. Happily, my weight has rarely fluctuated more than 10 pounds as an adult. The need or even desire to be the great beauty or mad sexual Olympian leaves us gradually and gracefully usually. Having more peace and dignity sure helps me feel young!
From my personal observation, the men I'm most hot for GAIN their looks at 35.
Poor, deluded R77 thinks he's the one exception to the rule because a near-sighted twink once thought he was 58 instead of his true age, 67.
25 or so usually
for women I think it is early to mid 40s because their bodies start to go through hormonal changes as they enter menopause and it transforms them. There is a reason women "hit the wall" - it's because it's all very sudden. The youthfulness disappears almost overnight. Even celebrities seem to be unable to avoid hitting the wall.
Men - in their early 50s
I always hear many people (most gay men) say that women age much better than men. That is so untrue. Women appear to age better because of tons of makeup slathered on their faces, wigs, bras, girdles, etc. When all that crap comes off they are damn scary. Everything hits the floor.
I love when people go on about how Sophia Loren and has aged so well. Uh, no. It's all the art of makeup. I promise that you would cringe if you saw her without her wigs and makeup!
Starting about 22, it's all downhill for guys.
Depends on the individual. Some men and women grow fat by their mid 20's, others are beautiful at 60.
I'm 52 and I didn't start noticing aging until I was 49 or 50. That's when I started noticing I looked older in pictures. I take care of myself, work out, am not overweight, use moisturizer, etc. and have only a strand or two of gray hair but think genetics help, too. My mother always looked younger than her age and I take after her. My dad always looked his age and my younger brother, who looks older than me, takes after him. They always say sun overexposure, especially when young, accelerates the aging process and I feel like that might be happening to me since I used to always be tan, at least until my early 40's. At my 30th high school reunion, I was shocked at how terrible a lot of the guys looked. And for the women, they either looked great or terrible. Lots of 48 year old fat grandma types.
It happens in stages. You'll be freaked out at what happens to your face at 45. Then at 55, you'll look back at 45 with fondness. Btw, I didn't see much a difference with menopause (I'm female). I don't like how I look now at 59. Ten years from now I'll love how I looked.
I believe it's all genetics. I'm 49 and still get hit on and the double takes in grocery stores, etc.. I have cousins older than me but they look younger.
With that being said - looks aren't everything, because my family isn't so swift in the brains department. Trust me ...you wouldn't believe what I deal with for the sake of family.
I dunno. Men don't have an official menopause but their looks go south pretty much when women's do. Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, etc., definitely have lost their hotness. Not even mentioning Val Kilmer, Brendan Fraser, Luke Wilson, Dennis Quaid who just look terrible.
I don't know the precise age, but when mens necks look like their scrotums, it's pretty much over.
For wimmen, It's when they bend onto their knees to paint their toe nails and they scream because they have twelve toes to paint; it's pretty much over.
Once women reach 50, they all seem to buy into the "grandma" persona. Short, unattractive helmet hair, prissy glasses, lots of extra weight, leisure clothing, velcro sandals.
It's like it happens without them even realizing it, and it's such a universal thing.
And men with their obscene guts. It doesn't have to be that way, does it?
In my 50's, but determined not to go THERE
"Once women reach 50, they all seem to buy into the "grandma" persona. Short, unattractive helmet hair, prissy glasses, lots of extra weight, leisure clothing, velcro sandals."
I really think there comes a point in every woman's life where they don't give a fuck anymore.
The notion that a woman has to be fuckable until she dies is idiotic.
I'm just 54 and get more attention now than I have in 10 years. I did lose weight and photograph better now than of late. I just need to get laid like I used to.
I'm not saying a woman has to be fuckable until she dies, R94. You're inferring that.
I've observed that there's a generic, one-size-fits-all "grandma" mold that women over a certain age seem to unconsciously pour themselves into.
Or is that too much for you to wrap your wee brain around?
The importance of physical appearance varies in an inverse manner compared to the degree of maturity attained in the course of attaining greater age. Those still anchored to maintaining maximum youth will tend to challenge outward aging, those with a different balance for contentment may not.
Not in NYC, r96 and everybody. Where do you see this, Peoria?
I was relatively good-looking until I was about 50 or so.
Then downhill so fast it surprised me. I still exercise a lot and eat right and all that good stuff, but no one would mistake me for anything but a 56 yr. old man.
I can't say I much care. Occasionally, I'll spend 30 seconds lamenting the loss of my looks, but that's about the extent of it. (This is a pleasant surprise---when I was younger I figured that I'd have lots of surgery and all that crap to stay young.)
[r96]: stop being faux condescending (you're not smart enough). My statement about "women don't need to be fuckable until they die" clearly wasn't aimed at what you said since you didn't even imply it.
R96? How about you just shut the fuck up? Then we'll all be happy!
Have a nice weekend, stooge.
Mid to late 30's. Especially for natural blondes and pale skinned people. For tan and dark brown haired and skinned people, maybe early 40's.
I find lots of younger men are attracted to me.
Just lucky, I guess.
i need my bum pounded
Stop thinking like that. It's more complicated.
[quote]Where do you see this, Peoria?
Yeah, r99. Because NYC is a magical Utopia where no one gets older.
I could still recognize people I'd gone to high school with when I was in my 40s. But in the 50s, I wouldn't be able to recognize anybody. Time took too much if a toll.
"Most?" "Most," OP? Really?
Most people lose their looks in their 20s. Not completely, and by no means all, but definitely most.
I'm talking about the general population, not the waiting room of a cosmetic surgeon's office.
Would say after 50, around 55 or so. Maybee 54. Better have a great lifestyle if you want to stay healthy, and that won't make you look "great". It will make you look "good for your age".
After 60, looks just don't matter anymore. Health does, and spirit.
agree -50....at 60 it is even worse.....things really fall apart and for those who opt for plastic surgery to maintain their youth- forget it- you look ridiculous.
I make a distinction between men and women re starting to lose looks. Not sexist, just realistic; I could give any number of examples.
Women: c. 37; 40 at latest.
Men: Physic:probably late 30's. Face - maybe not till 50's; LOTS of hot daddies out there.
With questions like that, it seems that you see people as you see meat.
For those who look younger because of genetics and because of that think they still have a little bit more time often that is not the case.
Sometimes without warning you hit the wall. You suddenly get old looking fairly quickly and there is nothing to do about it.
I looked great at 25. That was my peak until I think 28. 29 I was running for time I think. Turning 30 was horrible. I started getting wrinkles (between my eyebrows) that I'd never had before. I guess I'd never really worried before. My teeth also started to go south, in a big way. Still struggling with that today.
I'm 36, and I look good for 36. Not exceptional, but fine. And, contrary to what may seem from what I wrote before, I look younger than 36. I often get asked if I qualify for under-25 prices when buying a train ticket or going to a museum.
I believe turning 40 will be fine, in fact I'm pretty sure I'll look better than I do now because my bone structure will be more defined.
I'm not so sure about menopause. Pretty sure it'll be hell, actually, just like puberty was.
After 30 I started to gain weight (belly, mostly), even though I am far from overweight. I know I will never be as attractive as I was when I was in my twenties. It's made for a very different lifestyle, and I focus on different things now.
Peculiarly enough, I'm looking forward to 40. 50 will be difficult, I'm pretty sure, but if I make it to 60 it will be the best time of my life.
Gosh but this thread is depressing. It started for me this year. I'm 51. I still look okay for 51 ... but I never had to throw a qualifier in before now. No red meat or hard liquor. Workout 5 to 6 times a week or I suspect I'd be even further downhill.
Wow, that's scary R118. Because I don't work out, I fear it might be all downhill for me unless I start exercizing again.
Sadly, it's getting to be a psychological issue.
If you've had a good run - 46-48 is attractiveness stretch point.
R119 - just make a 2 times a week workout pledge. It will build its own momentum. Everyone at the gym had their own first day.
Anywhere between 38 and 90.
I don't think I look young for my age. I'm 43 and most people guess my age to be late 30s-early 40s. However, I know that I look good. I workout 4 times a week, eat healthy more times than not, never smoke, stay out of the sun etc. I get my share of compliments and still turn a few heads here and there.
My one vice, and I think this is where genetics comes in, is booze. Though I don't drink everyday, and I certainly don't drink a lot when I do, I still love my red wine. And a cold beer in the summer. Once a month, I like to get trashed on the roof at The Eagle here in NYC.
My mom was a BIG boozer before she slowed down a few years ago. And she looked radiant right up until then. In fact, most people attribute her looking haggard now to the fact that she doesn't drink anymore. Ha.
I'm not sure. I'm 30 and still look great, but I have other 30 yr old friends who have lost their looks completely. Their skin has aged and they just seem OLD. Some guys I went to high school with are balding! I see crows feet in pix. It's scary.
Meanwhile, my mother is 57 without a gray hair or a wrinkle. She is an average woman looks wise but she hasn't lost any of those looks.
Never understood people who think men age better. I used to work in a conference hotel and most conferences were attended by 35-65 year old males and believe me they all looked it. In fact once they hit 45 and they're all in dark suits they all look the same. I mean where are all thee men who are ageing better than women. If you ask me it's just more sexist nonsense.
I think male and female start to really age at 40. Asians age the worst and blacks the best.
I'm 32 and have looked 30ish for the past 10 years. I'm tall,square jawed and dark (always have stubble).
My sister is 25 and looks 16. We went on vacation together this summer and she was stopped at the gym and asked if she was over 18. She had to go back to our cabin and get ID. She gets embarrassed like that constantly so she wants to age. I'm interested in how look at 40 because she is freakishly young but has to age sometime! She is very fair so never sunbathes, doesn't smoke or drink and is a trainer though.
The biggest sign of aging is yellowing teeth. If you doubt it, take a photo of anyone, run it under Photoshop to whiten them, and notice the difference. Very white teeth, while not making you look younger, can make you look dramatically more attractive, whatever your age. Professional whitening is tiresome and expensive to maintain, but it's worth it.