I think any of the following should suffice:
Anne Hathaway (She excelled, it was Franco who stunk. I think if Anne hosted all by herself next year, it would be a great show)
Madonna (again, like Anne, a one woman show. Can bring the humor, the singing and the dancing all by herself.)
Howard Stern and Robin Quivers
Neil Patrick Harris
The ladies of The View (whoopi is an oscar winner, joy and sherri have also done many movies. Joy and Whoopi alone would be a scream!)
OP, apart from NPH you have atrocious taste.
The Oscars have been fucking up more often than not in the past decade because they think the most important element in a host is "funny," when the most important element should be "classy." I don't want a stand-up act when I watch the Oscars. I want a sophisticated evening.
For me, the perfect Oscar host is Hugh Jackman.
Arlene Francis and Bennett Cerf.
Jimmy Fallon or Steve Carrell
Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert...
OP, I hope you are joking. Hugh Jackman and a non-irritating female.
Hugh Jackman had his chance. He stunk.
Since they usually do a corrective host after a bad one to make up for his/her faults, and since Seth MacFarlane is mostly being criticized today for his sexist jokes last night, I would recommend a female host next time.
Tina Fey and/or Amy Poehler
I would LOVE Lisa Lampanelli to host
I agree that OP's choices are beyond awful. They're almost parodies of bad choices.
They're never going to hire Joan Rivers--she's a million years old AND foul-mouthed, two things they try to avoid.
Madonna "Can bring the Humor"???? She is notoriously [bold]without[/bold] a sense of humor. And she is also a million years old.
Never gonna happen, R7.
Can you imagine the reaction if he stunk up the place two years running?
Secretariat has more chance of winning this year's Kentucky Derby.
Katt Williams, Charlie Sheen, and Lindsay Lohan.
Yup, I'd watch it. And I haven't watched a full Oscars telecast since Halle Berry won.
Seth MacFarlane again.
Or Joan Rivers. She's still the funniest comedian today.
It'll either be Tina and Amy or Seth again.
Seth MacFarlane should host again.
Walking the dog the subject came up (making small talk while the dogs catch up with each other.) One woman I've spoken to a few times -- maybe in her 70s the other in her 50s.
Neither were familiar with Seth. The younger one had heard of him. The older knew nothing about him, she turned it on not intending to really watch but thought he was handsome and funny and kept watching.
I haven't seen any of it but I do like Seth and was sorry to hear he was setting himself for this. Practically everybody gets pissed on that has tried to host and he has a very definite style of humor that is not going to appeal to a wide range of people.
Unless he tried to reel it in a little, which he doesn't seem the type to do that.
Anyway, I had read a bit on here last night that the critics were going after him so I was surprised to hear these ladies enjoyed him.
Tina and Amy
tima and amy would be copying golden globes.... oscars won't want to do that....
i love the short memories people have - jon stewart has done the oscar hosting duties, so's whoopi, hugh and anne and all to some criticism
i'd like to see Steve Carrell do it
I agree that Seth should host again next year.
Anybody but Neil Patrick Harris...
I'm so sick of his self-satisfied self!
[quote]After last night, I was thinking about how the Oscar hosts have been shitty for over the past decade.
I say they skip having a host next year and just have the announcer announce the presenters and the performances.
These hosts have been so shitty and their material is so lame that they should just skip having a host alltogether.
Joan Rivers is a good choice, she is not afraid to be controversial. BTW I liked Seth's Rhianna joke. Everybody should call her on her famewhoring fake abused women image.
It's shocking to me how PR works today. There seems to be nothing too low to get attention.
Has Chris Rock done it yet?
Yes, he has R30, and got generally the same reaction as MacFarlane has.
Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen. Plus copious amounts of coke and booze backstage. Now, that would make me watch that wretched show after 10 years of having no interest in it.
I'd like to see Anne Hathaway, Tina Fey, and Brian Williams as co-hosts.
Brian Williams would be great too, but please AnnE noooooooooooooo, just noooooooo. I want her career to tank big time for forcing herself into my view too many times, besides she is just mediocre as an actress and she looks obsessed and mentally crazy. Plus she is not hot at all and seems to be dumb too.
Jerry Seinfeld should host/
What was the deal with Lincoln's beard? And no, I'm not talking about Mary.
What's the deal with Les Miserables? "Do You Hear The People Sing?" Yes, I hear the people singing. I've heard them singing for 3 hours now!!! I think we've heard them singing.
Honestly, they should get the cast of Community to do it. Joel McHale et al, would be funny.
Or just Joel McHale.
He's funny and charming, but not smug-charming. He'd be perfect. Although part of me wants the cast up there with him because they play off each other well.
What was the deal with Lincoln's beard? And no, I'm not talking about Mary.
What's the deal with Les Miserables? "Do You Hear The People Sing?" Yes, I hear the people singing. I've heard them singing for 3 hours now!!! I think we've heard them singing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tyler Perry dressed like Madea.
R44 I actually like that idea! Funnier than that smug Seth.
Hugh Jackman was great when he did it. I don't remember any criticism. The Academy tried to get him back, but he couldn't afford the enormous amount of time involved.
Stephen Fry is a terrific award show host (and openly gay, of course). Not a singer or dancer, but funny, charming and classy even when he's being off colour or ribbing a fellow celebrity. However, he hosts the BAFTAs and he's perfect in that spot as a beloved institution in the british arts scene and member of that community. He's not part of Hollywood, I can't see him dumping the British ceremony for the Oscars even if they thought to ask him, and having the same guy host two of the major televised movie awards ceremonies would be too much demand on the guy and would take away from the "specialness" of each show.
Here's his 2013 BAFTA opening if anyone is interested.
Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman hosted their version of Oscars in Australia and I heard they got great reviews. Why not?
[quote] I would love to see Joan Rivers host the Oscars.
Joan's face is uncomfortable to look at because it looks like a weird mask, plus the only people in Hollywood who like her at all are some fellow female comedians. And she's too old to attract the young folks while also lacking the class factor one associates with going with an older host.
Yes, R50, I'm aware of all that. But *I* would, in fact, love to watch the Oscars with her hosting.
Definitely Kelly Ripa.
Actually Kelly Ripa is a great idea. I've found her to be inexplanably likable and unexpectedly funny. I like it when I'm surprised by people.
I think she would do well as host. But do you think she could do it solo, or would they have to pair her with somebody?
Joan would try so hard, she would bomb. They need a regular host not a frat boy or anyone who's comedy consist of only insults.
Has Ellen really fallen that much off the map? I though she did a pretty good job when she hosted
Beyonce, she can mumble her way through the entire ceremony and we can read subtitles!
Damn the webmaster is a dumb fuck. Who the hell shuts down a gay gossip board during the oscars? What a fucking retard.
Lens Dungham, naked and proud!
She did an excellent job for the Emmys, So-so for the Oscars.
Jennifer Coolidge and Catherine O'Hara.
Jennifer Saunders and Dawn French
Love the idea of Joel McHale but I expect he isn't famous enough. I could see ABC pushing Kimmel to do it to promote his show.
Why can't someone like George Clooney host one year and give us an old school Bob Hope-ish like M.C.?
[quote]Madonna (again, like Anne, a one woman show. Can bring the humor, the singing and the dancing all by herself.)
AHAAHAA! Oh, my sides, MY SIDES!
I can't stand Jimmy Kimmel. He is such a smug asshole.
RuPaul and Lady Bunny.
Tipsy hostesses with the most-esses.
Kristen Stewart showed on Sunday why she'd be the perfect choice.