The ability to hold your head high and walk with confidence, to be decisive, to have others want to be in your presence and absorb your positive aura, to command the attention of others, to be treated with a modicum of respect, to be taken seriously, to more easily get a job and ascend the career ladder, to be deemed a success in life, to be the subject of flirtation, to be and feel attractive, to not feel constantly ignored whereever yo go, to feel wanted, to feel loved. Oh god, what does all of that feel like?
OP, don't you know models are some of the happiest people on Earth?
I don't mean models, but everyday good looking people. I just want to know what it feels like not to be ignored in every way possible for coming up insanely short in the looks department.
It's not all that temporary and if you're good-looking when you're young and tak care of yourself, you will always be good-looking for your age.
Only skin deep. It's transitory, too. It's terribly transitory.
I wish I could use troll-dar on OP's, because I suspect this is the same one who creates the "Imagine being these guys" threads that are truly the definition of tragic.
You don't need looks to feel good about yourslf OP. You are in control of your life.
It's frustrating sometimes to be looked at as a better person just bcause some lucky genetic roll of the dice. People seem to expect more from good looking people, they are expectd to be smarter, better workers with no personal problems
Sorry about the typos. Was writing while I was in the elevator.
It depends on whether you're talking about female beauty or male beauty. BIG difference.
How's it feel to be male and very good looking?
Things are easier. You walk into a shop and people want to help you. You walk into a restaurant and they want to seat you, at the best table.
You crack a joke and people laugh harder.
If you look like a nice person and you're good looking, strangers sometimes just smile at you even on the street of an unfriendly city.
They think must really 'be somebody'.
It's nice to not to be invisible.
Women seem to go into tail spin, when you're around.
If you're gay, you're like a walking gaydar and bi-dar. People can't help checking you out.
People WANT to like you, give you a chance and then a second chance.
It's like an incredible gift...like an inheritance, that you've had to do nothing to acquire.
It's quite similar to being rich. Your cup feels full. You feel privileged.
But it only really 'gets you through the door'. You still have to prove yourself and people expect you to prove yourself even more.
You still have problems with relationships and if the relationship was built upon your looks, you're in for disappointment.
You're riding high on yourself and if you fall it's a bigger drop.
It has an incredible power and like all powers has to be used well and thoughtfully or it will blow up in your pretty little face.
The best film I've ever seen on the subject is 'Darling'. She rode every wave her good looks took her on. Model, actress, relationships with whoever she fancied...to the eventual marriage with an Italian prince, who, once he'd got her, didn't really want her any more...alone and lonely in the grand palace, with everything but what she really wanted.
If I was hot, I'd play it down in public and play it up in the bedroom. The thought of getting hit on and stared at constantly by the unwashed public is not appealing.
Show me someone beautiful and I'll show you someone who is tired of fucking him.
My current boyfriend is, and my long-time ex was, gorgeous. The former looks like a combination of a young Jude Law and Ryan Phillippe while the latter looked like a young John Stamos. Despite that, they are some of the most insecure people I've ever encountered. The only thing that gives them any sense of confidence is their looks, and they're constantly afraid of losing that or not looking their best. I am not the best looking guy in the world by far, but I think they constantly expected me to reassure them regarding their self worth.
OP, please stop posting these horrible, stupid threads. You desperately need a therapist. DESPERATELY.
It makes absolutely no difference why you keep posting this drivel, you must stop.
My niece is 5'11" and a model. She is stunning . It's interesting to walk down the street with her and watch people stare at her, male and female. She has become immune to it but I'm always fascinated by the reactions from people.
It's okay but there are times when I'm in a foul mood and I hate hate HATE the gaze of others. Confidence in oneself can make you just as eye-catching to others as conventional good looks. Most of the really interesting and attractive people I've met aren't too hung up on looks (or superficial badges of status).
I was very beautiful when I was young. When it's all you know, you don't think about it much.
Now that I am older, and in poor health, I would say I wish I'd enjoyed it more.
I'm happy to be older and still beautiful for my age. The difference is that I don't get bothered by and stared at by EVERYONE. It was really annoying 80% of the time.
R12 and R18 have it covered pretty well. But OP, from your set up, you don't seem to be familiar with the notion of the beautiful loser. Good looking people are not automatic winners by any standard.
My aunt looked like Gina Lollobrigida when she was younger, and when my mom asked her if guys still hit on her now that she was an older lady, she said: "I had enough of people staring at me when I was younger, I certainly don't want it now".
Ive lost a lot of weight recently and I'm thankfully one of the people that doesn't look too gaunt or ill when I lose weight.
Now, I can flirt with men and women and get stuff. I'm in my mid 40s and getting free drinks from 20 something year old bartenders and fucking a few of them.
It's very good to be good looking. It's just a genetic crapshoot and I got looking; It's fleeting and many people don't take advantage of it. I'm trying to be very mindful right now; I catch strangers looking at me once in a while on the streets of San Francisco.
it's fun, definitely an ego boost, but if you get too wrapped up in that silliness, you can get in trouble, with booze, bars, drugs and gay drama, especially with the 20 something year olds.
I was tempted to respond before but then thought it's kind of crazy commenting on yourself.
But, it feels really good. I know I get away with some of my bad moods, and comments to friends are sometimes too blunt...but no one ever says anything.
I walk around the city dressed in old clothes, unshaven, unkempt hair, and yet I'm cruised a lot.
I go to the gym and when I hit the showers, I know they're looking (yet I'm modest)...but the confidence it gives you is pretty amazing.
And that leads to a hot bf, good paying job, and good friends.
Of course, you could probably get all of that being less than average if you have the right attitude.
But, this is how it makes me feel.
"I got looking" = "I got lucky"
I'll tell you what it's like - assholes fall for you right and left and if you don't fall for them back, their total awe and kindness turns to the cruel and cold opposite. So you end up with a lot of people hating you, resenting you and hoping you fail. It's a nightmare. The solution for good looking people is to partner up and avoid the gays. Because they'll just try and take from you. They're all kookoo.
It's great, until you don't have it anymore.
Looks a ea tremendous privilege that those who have will deny because the truth is too brutal.
Everything from social benfeits to survival resources come easily. Solme will be fooled by haters ijnto not expltoing their privilege, or feelgni bad about it, but that doesn't eliminate the privilege.
It wasn't until I lost my looks that I realized just how bad it was, but I also knew this on an intellgectuallevel when I was younger. The difference is about the same as watching an NFL film and having Ray Lewis bullrushing you across the line of scrimmage.
The bias is rooted in reproductive health and fitness.
Life can be decent for those who don't measure up physically, but it'll never be as good. The internet has also globalized the looks market, so it's rougher on the unattractive than at any poijnt in history.
Best friend's daughter is stunning. She is vary bright. She has a BA from Villanova. She was able to parlay the combination of beauty and brains to keep trading up jobs in finance so that by 33 she has been a vp at Goldman Saks and now is raking in dough as senior vp of a hedge fund.
Jen knows her looks got her past many interviews,but she has brains enough to perform very well.
My friend and I love to lunch with Jen. The waiters and staff get us the best tables and fall all over themselves attending us. Men and women are always staring.
It's like any other "advantage" - people don't see the benefits and have insecurities about the downside "do they like me for me" and "if I lose my looks would they still like me?"
Same with people who have a lot of money.
I'm not sure how it is for men, but I think good looks on women are a mixed blessing and no guarantee for a happy, easy life.
Frankly, it's heaven. But I was just blessed with good genes.
It's great.I'm gay and a little bi-curious so there are benefits. You get hit on by women which is a big ego boost because no matter how forward women have become you have to be hot for them to make the first move.Well with guys, it's an added bonus because men are so visual so that means that getting laid was all that much more easy.
Beautiful people look at other beautiful people and think they do not measure up. I think there is a lot of insecurity there.
I have a friend who is very attractive (a tall, attractive woman will always attract looks from both men and women), yet often she talks about another friend of ours, who is also very attractive, and how she gets jobs because of her looks (she doesn't seem to notice that the exact thing happens to her). They're both very good at what they do, but they, definitely, didn't struggle on the way up.
When my friend meets another attractive woman at work, the first thing she'll do is comment on the woman's looks: hm, yeah, she's pretty.
Both of my friends are well aware of the effect they have on male co-workers, and use this to their advantage, ever so subtly.
I am, or was, "handsome." People treat you better, unless you're a jerk, and even then you'll still get laid regularly. If you're smart, you develop a personality. But really goodlooking people seldom do. Why should they? They are guaranteed a charmed life. Good looks are and always will be the golden pass key in life.
Aging as we speak
Is a B.A. from Villanova something to brag about now?
[quote]Show me someone beautiful and I'll show you someone who is tired of fucking him.
Beats no one ever wanting to fuck you at all.
I hate to ruin this lovefest for the genetically blessed but let's be brutally honest here. The truly fascinating and memorable people in this world are rarely good looking.
Why? Does he know any good looking people who can tell him what it's like?
It is very nice to be be handsome. But I have always been shy, reserved, so attention to me was annoying.
OP, I think even for good looking people there's always somebody better looking.
I WAS a twink but was also shy, insecure, depressed, and a bit paranoid. Used to get cruised often, but it was usually unwelcome. I did not find myself attractive; I'm not my own "type".
Today I am generally invisible and am more comfortable and confident. The rare times I get noticed (usually by someone drinking in a bar and of my age group) I feel flattered and grateful.
I'm now much more attracted to intellect, humor, kindness, and positive attitude than looks.
There's a lid for every pot, dear OP. With 7 billion people on the planet, some people will think you're totally hot.
When you are good looking, you are insulted and your looks are picked apart by other women. Your confidence is undermined because you have to deal with back handed compliments and petty insults. You are not trusted around their significant others. People talk about you behind your back, sometimes you over hear them as they mock you.
Your opinion is discounted. You are treated like an airhead. You are sometimes called an airhead to your face, despite a 4.0 GPA and a strong work ethic.
Men only talk to you because they want to have sex with you. You are hired for jobs only because the boss wants to grope you. Then you are fired when they realize you will not put out. But they trump up some excuse to make it look legitimate.
When you try to make friends with guys you work with, they think you are flirting with them. You tell them you like girls, they think it's just a challenge. When you don't talk to them, they think you're a snooty bitch. If a guy offers you a ride after work, he will try to grope you or worse.
When you walk into a room, people look up. People look at you, watch you. Men will offer their assistance to you if you appear to need it. They will probably make a pass at you if you accept their help. Sometimes they are easy to dislodge. Sometimes they are persistent.
But by the time you hit 35, your beauty is no longer valued and you are labeled as old and stale. Now, you are thrown on the trash heap, with all the other women who've past the age of being considered an object of interest to men. And in addition to dealing with all the other stresses in life, you have to deal with your first major loss, the loss of your beauty, something which was a burden but also a source of pride. As we age, we lose we one thing after the other. Our health, our memories, our ability to work, our friends, our family, our spouse, our mobility. But sometimes, beauty is the first loss. And if, all your life, you've been identified as "the pretty one," once that is taken away, you're left to wonder, Who am I now?
I can tell you what it's like to be ugly; it sucks.
OK, I'll bite. I've always been somewhat attractive, but over the past 6 months I've stepped it up in the gym department and dropped about 20 lbs. It has made a world of difference. I catch people looking at me on the train, etc. etc.
If you're into my look (dark skinned, professional looking black man), then I'm pretty much your dream.
Now, the bad part. I can name at least three incidences over the past 3 months where people have either been really nasty to me or wanted to physically fight me because I "think I'm all that" or have rejected someone's advances. It's completely insane.
People project a lot of things onto "good looking" people. I've been on both sides of it, so I don't let it get to my head, but it is nice to be able to flash a smile and get what I want. I am very aware of the weight now though. I work hard because I don't want this to go away.
[quote]If you're into my look (dark skinned, professional looking black man), then I'm pretty much your dream.
[quote]Now, the bad part. I can name at least three incidences over the past 3 months where people have either been really nasty to me or wanted to physically fight me because I "think I'm all that"
No!!! How could they possibly think that???
Well, wait a second. I'm what you would call good-looking, though I peaked around age 22.
I've been hit on frequently by douchebags. Nice guys (which I like), not so much. In fact, they pretty much ignore me. I can think of two exceptions.