With my dildo. I was able to imagine being impaled by every hot guy I spotted this past week. After banging my prostate into ecstasy, I came buckets, showered and repaired to the veranda in my robe (no caftan! lol) with my tea and The Times. No muss, no fuss, no std's. No awkward brunches or walks in the park afterwards...
how sad for you..
Sounds like a good deal to me!
Bless your heart, OP.
But will the dildo call you tomorrow?
Do you have one with a suction cup so you can stick it to the wall?
My favorite is the one molded after Johnny Hazzard's dick. So thick.
Sometimes I deep-throat it while I'm plowing myself with a vibrator.
Better orgasms than I've ever had with a person, and no STD fears.
Sometimes a guy just has to take matters into his own hand.
And I totally agree with you, OP.
This afternoon I was raped by a lucha libre.
Well, isn't that special.
I had that dildo last month,OP.It gave me scabies.
Why do I suddenly hear a new version of Heart's song: "He's a plastic man!"
The way DL people describe sex never ceases to gross me out. Erotic writers we are not.
Dildos mean never having to say you're sorry.
Just call me angel of the morning ....
[quote]Do you have one with a suction cup so you can stick it to the wall?
Dear god I hope the wall in question is tastefully decorated and the color compliments the color of the dildo.
Imagine being fucked by clashing colors. The horror, the shame.
I joined PFLAG for this?
R14 "Compliments"? Oh dear...if you are doing to be the doyenne of taste, you need to review the difference between "compliments" and "complements." Glass houses, dearie...
And no fussy mussy.
Did you and the dildo do the Times Sunday crossword together?
I just use him for the necessary friction.
Doesn't that cause cancer?
This guy makes sex toys with common household objects.
A dildo is preferable, no need to get turned off my washing out your hole.
Now I also have a strange rash
I just wanted it over with so I could get back to my Sudoku.
Not the gay cancer, R20.
Did it cum inside you
If I wasn't an inanimate plastic object I would be out of this relationship in a New York minute.
[repaired to the veranda]
OP = Peggy Noonan, former Reagan speechwriter
How nice that you have found a sex partner with whom you can talk on your own level.
Do not click the link at r21. You'll need to dip your head in bleach afterwards.
I can relate OP
Bravo, OP! Your post made me hard. And it gave me plans for the rest of my evening.
Truth be told, I was faking it.
truth be told, it's harder than the last date I had
I did too. I wish my bf wasn't into waking my ass up too early though. I was sleeping nice and sound and here he comes bringing out the toys and flipping my ass over.
I really just wanted to sleep though.
"Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it ... You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
We are switching to the new platform for The DataLounge this weekend. All of our mobile users have been using it for over a week and all first time users have been using it for about a month - which adds up to well over one million users. So we're ready to end this phase of the testing and move everybody to the new site. (more)
And yes, we've changed the look and some of how it operates.
Yes, we know you just *hate* it in well in advance.
Yes, we know we suck.
Yes, we are the biggest suckers that ever sucked.
But it was time for a change and with the huge shift to mobile it was long overdue. We've taken this opportunity not only to update the look but also make major changes under the hood (or "bonnet" if you're either British or pretentious or both). And we have to prepare for 2016 - a presidential election year where we can normally expect to see a 60% jump in traffic (yes, we've seen 5 presidential elections so far…Christ we're old).
The site has a bunch - nay, plethora - of new features which will make the site more usable: better search, the ability to ignore posters and threads, see link previews, to pick up a thread where you left off, spam and malware filtering and more.
If you want you can go explore and see for yourself, Click here.
And while running the tests we've noticed two interesting reactions to the new system - people are spending more time on the site and more people that come stay around longer and look at more stuff. Both good things. Yay!
Possibly we've not slain all the dragons and there will be issues that come up during the switchover. There's a help button in the lower right hand corner of the page which you can use to send us bug reports.
Please include as much information about the hardware (PC, Mac, Tablet, Phone etc), operating system (Windows, Mac OS, Android, iOS etc) and browser (Chrome, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer etc) that you are using as possible to help us replicate and fix the problem.
Please note that complaints about colors, fonts, icons and the like are not "bugs" - they are design choices that we've made and we expect one or two cases of world-class bitching. But they won't actually cause headaches, scurvy, heart attacks, Restless Leg Syndrome, Morgellon's Disease or the vapors (but have your smelling salts at hand just in case).
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