Oscar pre-shows -- are any worth watching?

ABC has a red carpet show from 7 to 8:30 eastern time. E! has a four-hour "countdown to the red carpet" this afternoon, then three hours of "live from the red carpet" starting at 5:30. The TV Guide channel has a red carpet countdown at 5 and a live from... at 6. IFC is running the Independent Spirit Awards. I'm sure there are others I'm missing. Are ANY of these worth watching? Are any of them especially fun and interesting?

• NO

• It depends. Are you brain dead?

• They're all terrible.

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• Are any of them especially gay or dishy?

• If you find Ross the Intern entertaining then E! Red Carpet coverage might be for you. Personally, he annoys the shit out of me. He sounds like he's getting a colonscopy and they fucked up and gave him helium instead of the nitrous oxide.

• I am sick of all these celebs thanks to the 15 other awards shows that have aired since January.

• Since I don't have cable, I had to watch the ABC pre-show. As usual, awkward and fawning. Little Kristen Chenoweth chirping and hopping like a Chihuahua on helium.

• I've never satthrough an entire Oscar telecast. We never watched them growing up (my parents were too poor to go to the movies). I remember being st a friend's house in high school and Bob Hope was hosting. We were stoned and you could hear a pub drop when he made his awful jokes. He was like a big old cabbage, stinking up the room. I don't understand the Oscar's obsession with musical numbers. They have utterly useless, superfluous song and dance numbers. Then they insist on having an entire song performed when it is nominated. Why? They don't show the entire movie that's up for best film. They don't show the entire performance of the nominated actors. It's a waste of time, especially when so many songs are entirely forgettable. If they were to do something like recreate the rooftop scene from West Side Story, that would be ok. But they never do anything as good as that.

• Obviously it's a pin drop, not a pub drop. I'm a poor keyboarder on a touch screen.