- I'd get the Go Fuck Todd T-shirt.
- The every man is really gay cologne.
- Let's Roll Cinnamon Rolls.
- earrings, caftans
- I'm going to buy the hot new books "Why 100% Straight Men Enjoy Gay Sex So Much" and "Doing Porn: The Quick Way to Fame and Fortune."
Can't wait to get home and read them.
- I'm still waiting for my "I want to see dinasours" T-shirt from an old "Let's remake DL swag" thread some years ago.
- Summer's Eve Douche -The Cheryl Line
- The 'King Kong Will Stop The Rain' line of baby dolls.
'Once Around the Garden' brand salad mix
'DataLounge Land' souvenir maps
- Let's not forget Carol Channing's "I Can't Believe It's Corn" line of gourmet corn relishes.
- R5, I believe it's: "Doing PROn: The Quick Way to Fame and Fortune."
- I'm buy that 'Josh' book at the bottom of the big discontinued bin in the basement store. I hear there are some videos of that Planet Green show of his too, and they're only a dozen for 99 cents!
- OP or someone, please explain #3.
- At the DL, once you get to the middle of the parking lot, the cart's wheels quit working and you have to leave it there.
- A creme brulee torch, and creme brulee ramekins, so I can make the darn things myself and my outer space alien pals....NOW!!
Guess who...Or just ask your quartz crystal
- Oh, look! They just got a shipment of Kyle Richards off-the-shoulder, gold lame "CUNT" football jerseys -- and they're all three sizes too small! Perfect!
This is even a better price than T.J. Maxx!
I'll take FIVE, in every gaudy color!
Now, let's go downstairs to Persian Trannie Petites! I need some plastic hooker shoes!
- The 'tearoom', on level four, offers such amenities as stud service, a dark room, and a steam room.
- I'm going to have some of the turkey meatballs in the cafeteria. But I'm not going to ask for free drink refills - won't make that same mistake twice!
- [quote]Let's Roll Cinnamon Rolls.
In the same aisle as the cak & graxy I suspect.
- Size 42DD Shit Bra
- R12, that's an old mostly forgotten DL joke from the years after 9/11. It's a reference to Lisa Beamer, widow of Todd Beamer of Flight 93 fame. Todd Beamer is the one who was heard saying "Let's roll."
Lisa Beamer was such a ubiquitous media figure in the aftermath, it became a running joke that she was going to open a chain of "Let's Roll!" Cinnamon Roll shops.
- Well, R3, "Let's Roll" cinnamon rolls was part of a very funny thread mocking a rather obnoxious widow of 9/11 who created a cinnamon roll product line to raise money for herself and other very well-off widows of 9/11. Her charity really began to stink of greed.
The product name, "Let's Roll", was based on what were supposedly the last words that her husband said to her by phone from the doomed United Airlines flight that crashed in Pennsylvania. The husband told her that he was about to lead a group of co-passengers in an attempt to overtake the terrorists who had hijacked the United flight.
Essentially, the wife (Lisa something) became viewed by many people online as a would-be fame whore, trying to cash in the memory of her husband.
- Our personal shoppers are like the wait staff at Ed Debevic's resturant in Chicago, pointlessly bitchy.
- The Dom and Elijah "Shout-Out" color guide.
- Wait, wait, wait... I thought the cinnamon rolls were a DataLounge joke. Please tell me she didn't really come up with that.
- Sorry, I meant to direct my previous post to
- I think that you are right, R20 / R24. Sorry, it's been several years since that thread. I got mixed up.
However, Lisa Beamer did try to cash in on "Let's Roll!". Didn't she try to copyright that expression?
- Not Without My Daughter Frosting
In the can
- PreLube© brand Lube.
Because you just never know when a moment of Surprise Anal will happen.
- A box of Dog Fucks Baby in the Ass Huggies!
- A package of Freddie Smith's Uncut Sausage Links and some of Cheryl's Moist Mussy Snack Caks.
- Even though I don't understand what it means, I want a Go Fuck Todd t-shirt in medium please.
- Best selling self help book, "This Never Happened".
- Overheard at closing time:
I've got to get home. If my pussy isn't attended to by 8 o'clock, I shall be strokin' it for the rest of the evening.
- R21 = Ann Cunter
- Shitty Little Ann's diapers for Big Gurls.
- The "Oh, Dear" Guide to English Usage
- Here's a tip for all of you new shoppers...Run down to the basement level, DL has an overstock of DL Trolls and they are practically giving them away!
- Where is the turkey meatball department?
- The Gail Grimes Home Furnishings Collection.
- An extra-large white towel for the sauna, with complimentary embroidering of the nickname your fellow gym members have given you.
- Wire hangers, ideal for reenacting Dl fave "Mommie Dearest".
- Gail GRINDS
- Your Guide to On-Line Medical Diagnosis
- Plastic gargoyle neighbors to place on a ledge.
The DataLounge version of the Garden Gnome.
- The DL department store still sells CD's, and none of the music is after the 1980s.
- XXL Caftans
- R45 With the exception of "AnnE Hathaway's" Greatest Hits".
- Extra bath towels so my tricks that spend the night can at least take a shower.
- The Anne Hathaway Chia Pet Nose.
- Attention DL shoppers, hurry to our flooring department for today's special: sauna flooring featuring a nacreous layer of permacum at no extra cost. No home fitness center is complete without it.
- Dildos moulded in the likeness of all denominations....Stop by level three's toy department for more gift giving ideas!
- If you want cigarettes, the only brands that are sold are Virginia Slims and Capris.
- R52 You nonsmoking ninny we have Benson&Hedges, and Monarch too!
- Pall-Mall 100's!
- They are of their time, surely, but I treasure my "I'm crying as I type" tissue dispenser (never got the "My heart goes out" version) and the limited edition Sumerian Farmwives action figure collection.
- Dr. Amy Bishop brand hair dye in Boom Boom Black. Bedazzled "I can't believe I slept with Jani Lane and all I got is chased out of his house" tee shirts.
- Surprise Anal Guest Towels in the linens department, please.
- WWHD? or What would Heath Do bracelets? for people who like to think about every aspect of their life in the context of how Heath Ledger would feel about it. Margarine fountains!
- The Liza Minnelli Liquor Cabinet Collection
- The pub on 1 has buxom lesbian barmaids! The girls can play darts and shoot pool while the boys shop.
- The pharmacy on level 1: "Judy's Place"
- Would you like to open a DL charge? You'll save 15%!
- The butcher in the food hall always offers Verifactia for Sizemeat.
- Notice to our customers: Safety Notice! No caftans on the escalators! They easily get caught in the mechanism. Please use the elevators or stairs.
- Datalounge Land game and The Prancing Ponies figures collection.
- Ratty Korean Wigs & More
- Bed, Bath & Beyonce!
- Seventh Floor! Camping Gear and Menstrual Huts!
- Joey Luft's Blue Bandit Toilet Cakes
- Fuckhead and the Cunt take Manhattan: The third book in the children's trilogy of a hapless couple of dogs on wacky adventures as they trek homeward. $24.95 US
- Your eyes were so blue colored contacts from the new DL contact lenses line
- "Mariah Carey's CD Store" which only stocks Mariah Carey CDs -- and is going out of business because the owner is a has-been and nobody buys CDs anymore anyway.
- I suppose it has to be mentioned: The 'I slept with Jani Lane and then he died' T-shirt.
- For R69 : You gave me such a good laugh. Thanks. I really needed one.
- Only today in Shirt-A-lounge. The special Taylor Swift T-shirt: I dated Taylor Swift and all I got was a T-Shirt and a lousy song.
Free for customers who indeed dated Taylor Swift.
- Nate Berkus* Metallic Pouf
- The Helen Lawson DVD series.
- And for the little darlings in your life, please visit the children's clothing department and see out new dazzling "Little Miss America" collection designed by Mrs Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder Colorado!
- The Entire Series Trilogy.
Book One "My Nephew is Homeless and Shirtless."
Book Two "I Think My Boyfriend is Cheating on Me with My Boss"
Book Three "I Locked My Keys in My Car."
- I could use a new cane, but I'll wait for the seasonal Michfest display.
- "Your eyes were so blue colored contacts from the new DL contact lenses line"
I like blue.
- Thank u, R74. I like u.
- [quote]And for the little darlings in your life, please visit the children's clothing department and see out new dazzling "Little Miss America" collection designed by Mrs Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder Colorado!
You forgot to mention that the DL department store always overlooks those pesky recall notices. Razor-sharp clasps, strangling high necklines, and asbestos-soaked garments are always on trend!
- Can you believe those old guys--what were they, like 40?--at table six only tipped me like 18 percent on a $70 lunch bill?! After I introduced myself by name and even smiled at least once.
- Joey Luft should work on a line of stuffed animals, mainly bunnies. They can be sold with the Jon Benet clothing.
- Don't forget to make an appointment at the Foreskin Restoration Clinic. On 7, next to the Fine Leather Goods department.
- The Swash* by Brondell
- Marc at the grill on 6, I'll have the daily special...
- Discontinued Abercrombie shirts for the 45 year old gay man who wants to look 20.
- R84 Marc, we stiffed you because you responded with a "no problem" instead of "you're welcome."
- "Suitcase with Wheels" for those weekend sojourns to NYC. Small and lightweight for easy entry into gay bars to find home for the night.
Comes with a complimentary bottle of Janie Layne's new fragrance, "GET OUT! I'M MARRIED!", guaranteed to repel those pesky gay one nights stands and get them out of the house... fast!
- Dart boards with photos of Lena Dunham and Amy Bishop on them.
Gift coupons for the Olive Garden.
A DL member's self published book on "The Greatest Male Porn Stars".
- Lol at r91.
"Acid is groovy, kill the pigs!" tee-shirt for parades and protests.
- "Karen Carpenters Countin' Calories!" app for the dieters. In the 'Possibly Lesbian' section on floor 10.
- Fat bastard's guide to sounding thin.
- The Muscle Max Grill on six has shirtless waiters serving high protein foods on weight plates. oooh-la-la!
Conveniently by the "speedo's for the beautiful"*** department.
***bouncers at the department entrance, no fats, femmes, or unworthy.
- "Tami Erin sings the classics" cd in the soon to be obsolete cd section, near the Mariah Carey display.
- Lens Dunham brand photographic equipment. Catch the sale on wide-angle lenses. Cameras, on 8 and in our suburban branches.
- This is actually a real thing. On the Shark tank on Friday two fraus had a line of bedding and room decorations for little girls called, wait for it..Addison't Wonderland. The fucking bedding was $1400 for a twin set. A TWIN SET! For girls..for $1400. I think it should go in the bedding section.
- Attention, shoppers! Julianne Moore is signing copies of her autobiography, "Me, Seriously," in our book department on the mezzanine.
- I hope that Marc at the Once Around the Garden Cafe on level 3 doesn't get snippy with me when I explain to him that my Jayden has very serious allergies and we need the restaurant cleared out of all peanut and gluten products at least three hours before we come in. I understand that the most expensive thing there is only 20 dollars and we are making him empty the place just for us but he really needs to think of the children.
- The Datalounge print gallery is having 80% off all Tom Bianchi photos.
We need to make room for the Spring 2013 Soulmates collection. This sale is not to be missed.
- Tom Bianchi will be signing copies of his new book "At Long Last Love: 50 Soulmates Who Have Touched Me In A Special Way, Jan.-Feb. 2013 Edition" in the Datalounge print gallery from 4-6pm today.
- 'Tina bring me the Axe body spray' in Men's furnishings.
- Ladies, join us in the Wisteria Room on five. We're having a special showing of the latest styles from the Helen Lawson Spring Wig Collection. These new styles are fashioned from 100% Virgin Dynel and are now top rack dishwasher safe!
- Massengil medicated douche is buy one get one free right now. Better stock up!
- And for the butch gals who enjoy a good douche, Listerine is in aisle five.
- I can ring ya up on registah far!
- Ann, where can I find the carn cob holders?
- Where is the "I'll plant my own tree" garden section? Did they move it again? I need some new bulbs, a duck laid an egg in my flower box.
- "Golden Girls Inconsistencies - The Complete Collection"
- Half-Pint's ShitBra Collection, in Lingerie, on 5.
- The Line of "No One Knows I'm Gay" greeting cards. For the delusional shopper.
- I understand there's a special this week on SJP brand Horsie Chow in the Pet Department, adjacent to the snack bar on ten.
- The Complete Barbra Streisand CD/DVD Collection, to make even more money for the diva who drives vast amount of people - hordes! - crazy because she refuses to stop singing.
- "I'd Like To Thank - The Definitive Guide to Predicting Next Year's Oscar Winners" by Lynn Stairmaster
- Precious Moments figurines for the family who lost a child in a brutal shooting, in the glasswares section, level 2.
- Why is the Gift Wrapping Department labeled "Presenting"?
- I need to speak with a manager, this is disgusting! I can't believe it, someone shit in the dressing room..who does that? at a store?
- Where's the baked potato bar?!
Claire, who got off the elevator two floors below
- Get well soon by Robin, a new line of high end cards for the cancer patient in your life.
- Autumn Harvest dinnerware. Collect them all. Each place setting or serving piece $18.00.
- I almost forgot to get to the TV department in time to watch "EST Tonight". Phew, I made it.
- I hope they aren't out of the Bengali (in) Platforms in the shoe dept!
- Thank god they make these Jazzy Scooters available to make shopping more convenient. When my fibromyalgia is acting up it's very difficult to walk the fabulous aisles of the DL Department Store.
- Does anyone know how to file a complaint? The Madonna display is bigger than the Janet display and I will not have it!
- Skin Yellowing Cream by Oil of Trollay
- Can someone direct me to the drapery section? I'm looking for the newest in beef curtains for my bedroom.
- The "50 But Look 20" Skincare Line is brought to you by Queen Helene's new Luxe line and on First Floor Cosmetics.
This stuff truly works! I use the cleanser, toner, SPF 150 day cream and night cream.
Within a week I was being mistaken for 23 years less than my actual age. And I wasn't even wearing my Abercrombie XS t shirt!
- After 50 Loads you get one for free!
- I hear they are getting a liquor license soon and will be opening a Drinks with David Ehrenstein piano bar soon. I can't wait!
- I need two ulimited transit passes. I'm riding the bus with my sister.
- You can't come in you're too fat get out.
- A prosthetic leg to beat someone to death with.
- Surviving the Summit: A guide on how not to become a dead body on Mount Everest. In the newly renovated book section.
- I'm definitely buying the "Suck it, Bitches!" T-shirt.
AnnE., Academy Award Winner (first of many to come)
- We're having a marciadown on Vagina Capes by Sara, now in Womyn's Separates.
- Grease fire extinguishers
- Off to the music section.
Must buy the new CD "Boundaries Were Stated" by Nan Michiganwomyn with special guest Cris Williamson.
- When you're on the Womyn's Separates floor (all penised persons will be escorted out by security, aka Barb and Dutch) be sure to stop at Syster Moonpie's Womyn's World Cafe. It features a 100% meat-free, dairy-free, nut-free, soy-free, wheat-free, gluten-free, cruelty-free, hormone-free menu.
Yet somehow they're all still fat as fucking hippos
- The feminine hygiene department is a big as a super-CVS!
- R131 Ah yes, the salon where our favorites like Ehrenstein and Dan Savage can lecture.
And right next door, the cafe, with Milky Loads milkshakes for one and all!
- R141, Talk with, [quote] The pharmacy on level 1: "Judy's Place"
We need a store directory!
- Please have exact change ready or your Visa or Mastercard with your government issued ID. There will be no refunds ever. If you would like an exchange, you MUST have your receipt.
We have clearly stated our boundaries and are telling you now, so that we do not have to tell you then.
- lol @ R133
Patsy never gets old.
- Be sure to visit our new wedding registry counter under the "Congratulations, Boys!" banner on the 9th floor. The womyn's wedding registry is in the basement near the tire department.
- The Dorothy Zbornack Personal Style line.
Full length tunics and suede boots for those warm Miami nights!
- I'll be releasing my "Isn't It Dramatic" line this Spring! At Woolworth's!
- 2nd floor, cash, weed, pussy!
- My neighbor is a Telebubby
- Nan, at R144, do you not accept American Express?
- Non event toasters cuz you're not running a B + B.
- I'm hoping they haven't run out of the baby shaped battering rams in the home furnishings department. I think if you buy storm windows you get one free to use in case of fire.
- 'Tasteful Friends', the new decoration and furniture showroom, is now open for your head-shaking, sighing and chuckling pleasure.
This season black furniture is decisively excluded, though tables chairs and floors still feature those ever-popular stacks of books.
- Ooh goody r155! Does is also have a webcam in it so that your friends who aren't there to snark with you can do it from afar and anonymously trash it online somewhere?
- The "Who Gives a Flying Fuck?" DVD Criterion Edition is on sale this week with a special introduction by Lorna Luft.
- Excuse me miss, but I have problems of my own. - Customer Service motto.
- Claire's Bread Pudding(tm) food stall.
- I like the bargain basement where they stock liquidated crap from Kirker's bankrupt store.
- I guess the Valentino/Hathaway section is not going to happen.
AnnE, crying as she types
- Debra Messing Eyewear. Guaranteed to cure cancer!
- Seth Macfarlane voodoo dolls have just arrived in womyn's separates!
- Elizabeth Mitchell signature "giant man hand" women's gloves
- Don't forget your pencils and old style telephone to re-enact Tippi in the pet shop in The Birds.
- On the tannoy: "Our new one-piece foundation garment, zips up the back and no bones".
in hommage to The Women, but anyone who did not know would have to give back their gay card.
- A dialing phone with a pencil.
- there's the Olive Garden in the back.
- Flip flops for work and other formal public places...find then on the end cap in men's accessories.
- There is a charge for gift wrapping but the attitude is always free.
- there's aways elevator music for everyone to enjoy.
- White belt men receive an extra $18 off of orders NSFW.
- Get your tin hat here before they are gone.
- Free soda refils for grammar Nazi's.
- Special this week in shoe repair: free replacement of the rubber tip on your cane with any resoling of sensible shoes.
- I'm fairly new. Would someone please explain "shit bra" to me?
- I plan on picking up some pin-up posters of Alexis Cruz and Jordan Knight before stopping for lunch at The Della Reese all-you-can-eat buffet.
- [quote]Free soda refils for grammar Nazi's.
(Could it just be free juice or water, please? Soda is toxic.)
- I just found an awesome t-shirt with "YUM" written on it.
I'm gonna be fucked by straight guys forever!
- If you've lost your lesbian friend, please go to the courtesy desk in the cane department.
- The cosmetics counter is having a special on Jungle Red nail polish, and the perfume counter has the new "Eau de Putain" from the Cristal Conners Collection.
- I'm going to sit at the DL soda fountain to see if I can get "discovered".
I swear I saw Kevin Spacey making eyes at me while I was shopping for some low-riding jockey shorts in the "twinks" department.He keeps following me.
He must think I have Hollywood potential. I hope that he will get thirsty and come sit by me. I've always wanted to be in movies!
Oh, he's coming in. He's just winked at me.
-Sent from my Iphone
19 and fresh off the bus from Hicksville
- The wall of shoplifter photos in the DL security department will only display pictures of the most DELICIOUS criminals!
And all men's dressing rooms* will have cameras behind one-way mirrors to, uh, cut down on pilferage. Yes, that's it.
[italic]* except for the dressing rooms in Big 'n' Tall, of course[/italic]
- Which department sells Mama's Mussy Moisteners?
- For R184:
Take the elevator to the eighth floor. Turn right. Walk through the caftan and earrings department.
Look for the overhead sign that reads "Mama Likee". The moisteners are three aisles down to the left next to the enema bags.
Eighth floor sales bottom, exploring other options
- Home of fine furniture, fabrics and fisting.
- Don't forget to visit the "rejected pet store" on the ninth floor. Full of willing, multiply rejected guys of all ages and types.
They are all behind glass and looking for love.
You don't even need to go through a screening process. Just send a message to your favorite. He will decide.
One caveat: They are often very needy. Better to take them to a hotel, using a fake name for the first date. Buying them decent clothes and taking them out for a nice dinner is recommended.
You have two weeks to return them with no questions asked. Safe sex is a must, the only thing that you must attest to on an initial application. Also, you MUST abide by the written do's and don'ts of the "pet" that you have struck an agreement with.
I met my last soulmate of three months in that way. I released him with some money in his pocket and free transportaion back to the DL department tank.
- Are you a womon who hates to be pestered by her pre-rapists while you shop for womon-only things?
Brother Son Daycare is the place to drop off your penised persons while you shop for yourself. Conveniently located at the furthest end of the parking lot, each of your XY-chromosome laden flesh bags will get the best care.
- This Saturday only: the Datalounge Tea Room (on the second floor, just past Notions) will feature the Peau de Soie Fashion Show Lunch with petits fours, finger sandwiches and DL ball gowns for spring.
Special guest model: The Lovely Mrs. Richard Carlson.
- Stop by the fragrance counter and get a bottle of Misogyny Kills.
Stop by the cafe and order a OP Sounds Fat special.
Dont forget to stop by the men's room and visit the glory hole.
- R190, the glory hole? Just the one, dear?
- The bathroom dividers in the DL Tea Room's tea room.
- Today's Special in the Luncheonette: The Lisa Whelchel Sumptuous Whataburger
- Ladies and Gents, the Robert Murrae Spring Forward Collection will be shown in the Men's Swimwear department in a special showing at the very time of the Spring Forward time change.
That's when EST becomes EDT.
- [quote] That's when EST becomes EDT.
As long as it's not EDB
- [quote]The "This.Never.Happened" children's picture Bible (as an Easter gift for my niece and nephew)
- Gargoyle bookends
- One-year membership in their flower-bouquet-of-the-month club
- Sign at the T-Room:
Want that hole taken care of? Please present it at the gift wrap department.
- Attention shoppers, we regret to inform our faithful clientele that the rotating doors to the parking lot are temporarily out of order, due to a mysterious hissing sound they make as one tries to exit the store. We apologize for the inconvenience and ask that you use the employee exit by the lockers until we are able to locate and fix the source of that problem.
- For the crafty DL-er who essays to make his own caftans, on Level Four we have the Fancy Joann Fabric section.
On request they will embroider, gratis, the legend "Sloooowww dowwwnnn!" on your throw pillows - a treat for your tasteful and slutty friends alike.
- The Taylor Swift Beard Grooming Kit
- End-of-the-line, shop-soiled, unsaleable and damaged goods can be found en masse in Mother's Basement.
- An announcement from our Over The Moon Baby Shop. It is not possible to return babies, because they are 'so last season'. Please check the shop's return policy for further information and also check out The Over The Moon Baby Shop Angelina Jolie special: Buy 7 and get one for free! Get yourself a bundle of joy now!
- Off topic but Datalounge Legend, Tig Notaro, has maintained to all the press outlets aquired for her by Louis CK- she didn't intend to talk about her cancer. She merely improvised and then was so very shocked when her cancer story went "viral."
Well, check out the "West Hollywood Patch" and what they wrote the night of her "I'm being smited" set at Largo in Hollywood.
She set this up. Why would they suspect she'd break out that night if her story of it being a total accident are true. Now,she's cured. Hmmmmmmm.
Tig for Tack
A master of deadpan delivery, comedian Tig Notaro knows how to make the most innocuous statement seem funny. With appearances on the Sarah Silverman Show, Community and The Office under her belt, Entertainment Weekly named the comic as someone who seems ready to break out into stardom at a moment’s notice. That moment could come tonight as Notaro does her stand-up routine at Largo, joined by Mary Lynn Rajskub, Ed Helms and Bill Burr. Doors open at 7:30 p.m., show at 9 p
- Hey hey hey bro --
That's not a gravy boat, that's a moon cup
- Circle your calendar DL shoppers!
April 1st. is the debut of "Elaborate Scenario"
a new fragrance from Judy Pills
- Today in the most formal Catty Chat Room we offer these specials:
bread pudding with bourbon sauce
wilted lettuce salad with hot bacon dressing
chicken salad with pecans
a “Hidden Sandwich” that features chicken or turkey, ham, bacon, and Swiss cheese, smothered in shredded lettuce and Russian dressing.
All entrees include artisanal bread and hand churned butter!
- Cheryl has been conspicuously absent from the feminine hygiene aisle.
- The 'Jealous Bitches?' bar and restaurant is decorated in mint green hues and contained by floor-to-ceiling plate glass.
Platinum card-holders (see restrictions below) may gain access at any time, and be assured of attentive personal service. All drinks and gourmet meals are complementary.
Our plate glass walls have for your comfort been appropriately treated, so that entitled patrons may be admired from the outside, but undisturbed by views of 'the little people.'
'Jealous Bitches?' reserves the right to refuse entry to persons not deemed hot, sassy, fabulous or adorable. The decision of our doormen is final.
- [quote]All drinks and gourmet meals are complementary.
Complementary to what? I want a freebie!
- [quote]I'm going to buy the following items:1)One of Bonnie Franklin Inc.'s "Hold Me, David" Snuggie blankets
Sold out our last shipment today, and we won't be getting any more.
As a special promo item, we are offering--for today only-- a FREE C-Pap machine with the purchase of any mobility scooter. Mention the words "vagina cape" and receive a FREE goddess figurine to mount between the handlebars of your scooter.
Talk to the manager on call, Gaia Moonraven, for details. She can usually be found in the Carharrt clothing aisle or over by pet supplies.
- r213 Is there a picture of said vagina cape and it's wearer twirling away? This should come with purchase.
- A signed DVD copy of the first season of "GIRLS" in the $2.99 bargain bin.
- Here's Sara modeling and twirling in her vagina cape:
Waaaay OT, but----OMFG r216! The external links from the vagina cape pic are HILARIOUS! If I didn't know that Mychfest was a real event, I would swear that some genius from The Onion would have thought it up!
- Me too, R217. I didn't know there really was such a thing as a vagina cape!
Sacred song circles? Inspirational choirs? Water blessings? It's like a religion and the woods of Michigan is their holy land ("The Land!"), their annual pilgrimmage to Mecca.
- I don't know how to link properly but there is a Midway to Michfest thread and a Michfest 2012 thread so you can read about all the wackiness.
- I don't understand. Why are all of the customers in Foundations men?
Attention DL shoppers! We are now having "Pink Light Special" in our grocery department. A 32 oz.jar Duke's Mayonnaise is only 99 cents! Hurry, while supplies last!
Don't forget to check out our daily bakery deals, where "Sissy's Pizza Bread" is the featured item for today. We also have a limited supply of freshly baked nutloaf, for only $1.29 per loaf.
- What about the Red Dragon Cheese, R221?
- Don't forget the Bonnie Franklin "one-size-fits-all" wigs that arrived yesterday .
As a tribute to her early demise, we are offering 20% off.
- Shit, I thought you were kidding r223 - but sadly I just read the news.
Loved to hate her, but preferred her alive!
- Excuse me miss, can you tell me which department has "No Men on the Land" and "Penised People NOT Permitted" signs?
- From OP:
1)One of Bonnie Franklin Inc.'s "Hold Me, David" Snuggie blankets
...I guess these will now be collector's items - so grab them FAST!
- Attention Shoppers: QE II mugs are discounted by 15%. It might be your last time to buy them while she's alive.
The value will increase TREMENDOUSLY if she doesn't pull out of her latest health threat.
Last chance to have a piece of a potentially dead reigning monarch!
Heartess, unfeeling management-What will be on her Ipod?
- Attention Shoppers: The "DL death pool" does NOT refer to the the bathhouse pool on the tenth floor.
For those of you affording yourself of the actual bathhouse pool, Blanche Devereaux Inc., "Everlast" condoms are availabe for sale
on every floor.
- [quote] "Everlast" condoms are availabe for sale on every floor.
But they only have my size in the Big'n'Tall department.
- Stop by the African Baby selection on 7. We have added six new babies straight from our spring catalog.