Last weekend, 27-year-old Nicholas Gonzales (AKA Donny Wright) got drunk in Louisville, Kentucky. Then, as drunk people tend to do, he made a stupid decision and allegedly broke into a nearby firehouse, smashing one of the building’s windows. When firefighters went to investigate the sound of broken glass, they found Gonzales in the midst of an act that they probably weren’t expecting: he was reportedly masturbating onto their gear, which he’d removed from their lockers. The firefighters detained Gonzales, which I’m sure was an interesting ordeal, until police arrived and arrested him. But why was Gonzales allegedly masturbating onto the firefighter’s gear, according to the police report? “Because I wanted to.” Fair enough. Gonzales was charged with burglary, public intoxication and criminal mischief. (NSFW)
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