Dean Cain Breaks His Silence on Mindy McCready "She was poisonous"
Speaking out for the first time about his former fiancée's suicide, actor and writer-producer Dean Cain tells PEOPLE that Mindy McCready was deeply troubled even 15 years ago, but it was her manipulations and lies – not substance abuse – that sank their future together back then.
"I'm saddened to hear of her passing, but I'm not surprised," says Cain, 46, whose starring role in TV's Lois & Clark ended just as he and McCready began their relationship in 1997.
They lived together and were engaged, but things imploded after a year. Cain struggled to remember any joy to their relationship: "I can't paint too pretty a picture. She would start arguments, start drama. Things weren't allowed to be good."
Though drugs and alcohol would later send McCready to rehab, Cain said neither was a factor in their relationship – or its demise.
"She was never abusive or addictive with me, but red flags were everywhere," he says. "I saw all the bad signs and told her to get out." At the end, he says he fled his own home for a hotel to escape her. "Everything she did was a manipulation of sorts. She would just get combative."
In the decade and a half that followed, Cain, who fathered a son with a subsequent girlfriend and is single today, severed all ties with McCready.
"When I did speak to her, truth didn't come out," he says. "She was kind of poisonous and not somebody I was going to have in my life anymore – or anywhere around my son."
Now, says Cain, he feels for the two boys McCready left behind.
"My first thought was of the poor kids. To think about the legacy those boys have been left, it's just tragic. ... All her troubles were self-inflicted. She had everything. She was a tremendous talent but everything about it was a waste."
But Rick Perry wasn't, eh, Dean?
He shouldn't have said anything.
He could have shut up after "I am saddened by her passing."
Dean Cain was so excited that somebody had a reason to ask him a question he just couldn't stop talking. The same thing happens at the dry cleaners, no doubt.
Well, the general rule of "Don't speak ill of the dead" might be relaxed here, I think. Cain can shed some light on her mental problems to give a bit of perspective. What he said is not sordid and acknowledges her talent.
I want Dean Cain to break my boi-hymen.
Way to be brutally honest right in the hardest times of her loved ones' grieving (because they might hear of this). Make sure not to let things sit for awhile, or say anything with tact. Make sure to be venomous yourself when you speak of the dead. It says great things about you, Deanie Wienie.
I doubt anything he said is news to people who knew her. Of course he could've kept silent about it, at least for now, but it seems she really was a super bitch to her. So in that sense I understand him.
This comment, while it may be true, just makes him look bad. He should be savvy enough to know that. He could have shared this info with those close to him instead of the public if he needed to vent.
Exactly r10, has-been Repug Cain is defiling this woman's grave for a little publicity.
No reason in the world for him not tom keep his mouth shut now. What a jerk.
Sounds like she had BPD. And Cain has republican empathy syndrome.
How can anyone criticize him for speaking the truth? Nothing is worse than sugarcoating a deceased person's life right after their death.
Everyone on here is a little fake bitch if they think this is harsh.
It's so fake and totally ignores the problem. This woman was sick and needed help and acting like she's a saint only means others like her will be ignored and won't get help. That is until they die and then everyone will say what a great person he/she was.
What he said doesn't make me think less of Mindy. It's the truth and it isn't always pretty. I think it's sad that she killed herself and wish she had gotten real help.
I've read worse comments about Mindy on DL the same day news of her suicide broke. Hypocrites.
I never understood "don't speak ill of the dead." Why not? They're not here to hear it. Mindy McCready undoubtedly hurt many people in her life as she worked through all the demons in her mind. Has any friends put out a statement that she was a glorious person to be around and that she was loved by all? What we do in life follows us to our graves and you can't blame anyone if they still have hard feelings for the misery you've inflicted.
Stupid prick could have waited longer until he opened his fat mouth.
Why r19? Not many of you did. How many threads do we have asking what's on their iPods? There was one right after almost every single tragedy. DL is the last place to be judging anyone for being inconsiderate to the dead and dying.
I'm not so much overly critical of what he's saying - likely, a lot of it is true - but there's probably another side to this - her side. Whether she's crazy or not, I am sure she'd have a different picture to paint and some of it is probably true. I doubt he was completely innocent as he makes it sound.
I guess he couldn't find a publisher who was interested in a book about this relationship?
[quote]I've read worse comments about Mindy on DL the same day news of her suicide broke. Hypocrites.
But none of us fucked her.
Yeah, he makes himself out to be such a saint.
And it was necessary for him to say all this because . . .? It really sounds as if he is overcompensating, like he expects someone at some point to start pointing fingers at him for some reason. That never would have occurred to me in the absence of this statement.
If he were still as a hot as he was 15-20 years ago, would you still be claiming he's a douche?
Too soon... or too late. Clearly she had issues, but why feel the need to go public with these comments now, when she's no longer around to defend herself?
I'm going to retract my criticism of Cain's (seeming lack of) empathy.
Something about this - "All her troubles were self-inflicted. She had everything. She was a tremendous talent but everything about it was a waste" - rubbed me the wrong way on first read. But on second thought, I don't think there was anything wrong with what was said, or that there was anything which suggested that he didn't feel for her.
And it can be total hell living with someone with BPD, which I really do suspect she suffered from. And perhaps neither of them knew it.
On Intervention, the doctors and therapists figure out(diagnose) when an addict has BPD.
Wouldn't Dr. Drew and his "capable" staff have done the same?
So how did this work? Did People seek him out for comment?
It is harsh. yeah we all talk shit here on DL when someone dies but this is an anonymous board and we aren't fucking talking to People magazine. Also I don't think any of us knew her. What a dick he is. Go fucking play Scott Peterson again in a shitty Lifetime movie.
R18/R20, you're a bit of an idiot. You know that, right?
"... but red flags were everywhere"
Then why the hell did he get engaged to the freak? These guys; as along as she gets on his dick and bounces her big titties cowgirl-style, she's "marriage material" (the money doesn't hurt, esp. for a chronically underemployed stud like Cain).
Why don't they pick a woman who might be a good mother and wife?
R16 and R17 represent some of the worst tendencies in our culture.
The protocols for decency and discretion concerning such a situation are that people with personal knowledge and experience keep quiet in the face of a horrible death, and that people with no right or expectation to such knowledge withdraw from insolent engagement.
Cain had no reason to snipe at this time. And members of the public have no reason to praise him for "telling the truth." A drug-addicted, psychologically damaged woman who was a celebrity to some killed herself and left a couple of kids. Why pile it on, grab publicity for shitting on her corpse, or act as if this behavior is either kind or obligatory?
r32 nothing I stated is false. I've read way worse about dead people here than anything Dean Cain has to say. That's the reality of DL and the some of posters here.
The difference is that Cain actually knew Mindy. Like I said, how you live your life follows you to your grave. The things you say and do is not forgotten by those around you.
Let's not forget that there are 2 boys in foster care because their mother didn't care enough about them to straighten out her life.
R35, the point is that it's one thing to be crass when you didn't even know the person and had no connection to them, it's entirely another to have once been engaged to the deceased and felt the need to tell the public she was fucked up.
Those kids are going to grow up knowing that a man who was engaged to her shit on her in death.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the essence of what he said, but he could have phrased it better. Maybe just said "She was always deeply troubled and I'm sad she ultimately wasn't able to fight her demons."
It should be noted that Dean said nothing about her when she was alive.
She killed her DOG as well as herself. That puts her on many people's SHIT LISTS. Why kill your DOG?
Plus she might have murdered the bf that wound up dead, she was being INVESTIGATED.
Fuck her. Team Dean.
People who act like she did were either severely abused and / or neglected as a child or were born with wacky brain chemistry and didn't get the love and support they needed early on in terms of knowing how to manage it (and following through with it.)
She is responsible for every choice she made, however, she is not to blame for the hot mess of an adult she became. She deserves compassion, like everyone. And perhaps a bit more.
Who knows what type of abuse secrets went down in her family.
[quote] People who act like she did were either severely abused and / or neglected as a child
She was abused by her mother.
She shot her dog then she blew her head off.
She had booze and drug abuse issues.
She'd tried suicide before.
We wouldn't even be fucking talking about her if she wasn't such a trainwreck. Don't fucking turn her into a saint because someone who has firsthand knowledge voiced what we've been saying since she offed herself.
The sheriff said she was NEVER a suspect, NEVER investigated.
Said it was just an absurd rumor.
I don't see anyone turning her into a saint so much as saying Cain's perspective is a decade & a half old and he's an asshole for capitalizing on her misery/death to get some publicity.
No, the hypocrites are the ones acting like killing a DOG, a precious DOG! is the worst sin a person can commit when you scarf down bacon and big hunks of cow every night. Most of you freaks would have cared less if she had blown her kids heads off.
People like r34 are such pussies and fake too. They hate on anyone that doesn't pretend like we live in a wonderful world where everyone is perfect.
He didn't "shit" on her death. Everyone that knew her knows that Mindy had issues and those issues caused her to make many bad decisions that hurt others.
People like r34 want us to ignore people and their problems when they're alive and then they act like they are these caring loving souls once the person is dead. Maybe if you call this people out on their shit, then they'll change, but as long as we're not allowed to call addicts out on their behavior they will continue the same, and if they do that, then they die!
So who is the asshole, the people who want the truth to be told so others can be encouraged to get hel[ and the disease can be better understood, or is the asshole the one that keeps telling everyone to keep quiet and act like addicts can't be criticized?
An addict's death is an opportunity to educate others on the demons these people face. If we don't talk about it now then when do we talk about it? 3 months from now when nobody longer cares?
What Dean said doesn't make Mindy a bad person, nor does it make him a saint. It's better to honor her with the truth then pretend she lived some sort of fairy tale type life. She did some shitty things, but that doesn't mean I don't feel bad for her death or how it hurts those close to her. I wish she had gotten more help and didn't feel that a stigma would be attached to them. If people spoke more freely about this shit, there wouldn't be a stigma. Telling people to lie and be fake only makes the stigma worse.
r37, why do you need to sugercoat everything? It makes you uncomfortable when someone doesn't? That's the point! If you sugarcoat it, then nobody is uncomfortable and the issue is ignored. Of course, pussies HATE ever being uncomfortable. However, that is how many of us learn and grow.
What is wrong with him? He never should have said a word about this except his condolences.
R44, his perspective is a decade old? REALLY?!?!
If anything it sounds like she became even worse after him. His perspective would only be inaccurate if she had improved and changed for the better. Unfortunately, she only got worse.
R45= Drama queen who needs to make it about HIM. The majority of the people on this thread aren't even talking about the dog.
Has Roger Clemens issued a press release? You kind of wonder how much of a hand he had in helping to create her problems. A famous, wealthy grown man fucking the teenage babysitter. Hmm.
I agree with R6.
Unfortunately, I know someone like Mindy McCready. Loves to start drama, loves to bring people into the misery, doesn't like peace, stubborn, bitter, vindictive, envious, ungratefulness etc. You can bet Mindy was told many times about her behavior and ignored it. I know from experience that a bad childhood is not the reason people act this way. You can have a good childhood and still be this way. I've found that jealousy, vindictiveness and ingratitude are the characteristics that fuel these behaviors.
I, too, know someone like Mindy. Toxic and so negative and hyper-sensitive. They don't have the emotional buffer that many of us do, so little things either set them off or they become depressed. To be around the person is to be walking on egg shells. You can never do anything right. Things you say that would be relatively "normal" to others is taken to great extreme.
[quote]That's the point! If you sugarcoat it, then nobody is uncomfortable and the issue is ignored. Of course, pussies HATE ever being uncomfortable. However, that is how many of us learn and grow.
And get free publicity in the bargain.
Well, the woman did stick a gun in her mouth and blew her own head off on her front porch so...she went there first. It's not that his comments aren't interesting and may serve as a comfort to some but I think he could've waited a few weeks. One full week at least.
The lead says "Dean can finally breaks his silence...!" Well, she just shot herself last weekend, isn't it more that he's just responding to the event? What's sad about this is that there's a market for this. It's dehumanising to treat such events as fodder.
[quote] In the decade and a half that followed, Cain, who fathered a son with a subsequent girlfriend and is single today, severed all ties with McCready
He also had a problem with the woman who gave birth to his son. He has a problem with everyone
[quote] My first thought was of the poor kids. To think about the legacy those boys have been left, it's just tragic
Especially when some piece of shit who hasn't seen their mother in 15 yrs goes to the press spouting off about things that should be kept private. That's a nice legacy he's leaving for her children.
The fact that dean never spoke badly of her until she died speaks VOLUMES. He never said anything because she would have blasted him and spilled his secrets. He must have had a lot of them
And to think I let him take my cherry! This depresses me... maybe I'm pregnant?
r56 Thank you, you summed this up nicely and eloquently. I thought he was a prick but couldn't express why, you nailed it.
He comes off as a bit of a sociopath-- cold, unfeeling, and clueless as to what "normal" behavior is in this situation.
Female borderlines often end up in relationships with male sociopaths. Tragedy ensues.
I remember seeing Mindy on Larry King and he asked her about Dean.
She said nothing negative, just said he was a great guy and it didn't work out.
"So Mindy, do you and Robin Williams ever get together, reminisce?
You were pretty chunky on "The Facts of Life," how'd you lose the weight Mindy?
Well I haven't made one joke about her, so I can criticize him.
He dated her fifteen years ago, yet he feels qualified to discuss her life and what was going on the last couple of years? Please. Was he there? No.
It's not his place to say anything right now. And two days after it is especially disgusting.
I bet his bitterness is because she wouldn't perform "the difficult brown" on him. That's the only way a girl can please Dean.
Poor Dean. Good thing he got before he married her.
Yeah, R49, his perspective is 15 years old. If someone was talkiing about how stupid you were 15 years ago, I'm sure you'd feel it wasn't pertinent.
It's pretty cowardly of him to come out with this after she's unable to defend herself. I'm sure she was crazy, but he was attracted to that crazy, which says something about him. If she was still around I bet she'd have stuff to say about him as well.
I wonder how much help he tried to get her while she was still alive, considering he's not surprised that she was suicidal.
[quote] If she was still around I bet she'd have stuff to say about him as well.
That's why he never said anything bad about her when she was alive. That piece of shit dean was afraid of what she would reveal about him. We know all about the problems she had. And his must be worse than hers. So just imagine what he's done.
And it's really nice that being a parent himself he is doing his best to make Mindy's children's already difficult lives even more difficult.
r32, why because he is pointing out the hypocrisy of DL. This is partisan animosity due to Cain's politics nothing more!!!!
[quote]All her troubles were self-inflicted. She had everything
I doubt he's lying about most of it, but what a fool for this comment.
This chick gets fucked at 15 by a an older man (and who knows who else given the fact that she was pretty and running in those circles). Whatever she was dealing with leads to a huge drug habit and regular suicide attempt. It just isn't believable that everything was kosher in her life growing up, to end up in those scenarios.
Yeah, you and your issues were no picnic either, bub. Way to remind everyone of another of your many heterosexual showmances and bring up your kid again, you preternaturally single fuck.
He's an attention whoring hasbeen. If it was Mindy picking his dead bones, you'd howl.
What the hell does he have against Pam Dawber, and why must he refer to her by her TV name?