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How can I convince my partner to just get the fuck over it?

Together three years. He's ten years older but we are compatible in every way and still in love. But, a few times we have had some hardcore verbal fights. About two years ago I said to him in anger (and I was also drunk), "you have all the intellect of a third grader! You're a goddamned stupid idiot!" Well, he has NEVER gotten over it. And the fact is, he has a learning disability (dyslexia) and is easily overwhelmed by things like how to use a computer or even email. I have a degree, he doesn't. Big deal. Other than that ONE time I was an angry asshole and said a shitty thing, I have never tried to make him feel like he's stupid. In fact he is very bright about some things, is an extremely hard worker and can fix anything. But he is insecure about not being 'book smart' or having an education. Now, whenever we get into an argument (not a fight, an argument) he almost immediately launches into, "oh, I must not understand what you're saying because I'm a STUPID THIRD GRADER!" and at those moments I'm thinking, well hell yes you are. Don't suggest counseling; he would never go - I try in so many ways to build him up and feel better about himself but I am soooooo sick of hearing him throw a two year old comment in my face every time he doesn't like something I say.


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