I was at the sink deveining shrimp when by boyfriend comes up behind me, pulls my shorts down and starts eating my ass

Which leads to other stuff right there on the kitchen floor. Now I'm an hour behind dinner prep and still have to reshower and mop the kitchen floor. And our guests arrive at 7! Oy!

• My heart bleeds for you OP. My heart bleeds and my dick leaks.

  U1%20lucky%20bastard

• So late, and yet you have to type this to us with your fish-and-cum fingers.

• So you're saying that your boyfriend saw you pulling shit out of crawdad butts and couldn't resist doing the same to you.

• Thank God you weren't preparing (and knoshing) on Butterfish. This could have had a tragic outcome.

• Who knew Bobby Flay posts on DL?

• It's delightful. It's delicious. It's deveining.

  Anything%20Goes

• This sounds like the next Bounty commercial. The quicker picker-upper for the eater-outer.

• I'd suggest that you tell your guests all about this -- just before serving them the seafood course.

• What an Extremely Satisfying Tryst!

• You devein your own shrimp?

• Thank you for deveining the shrimp, OP. My partner's parents make a 'special' shrimp dish every time we visit. They brag about how incredible it is, but they leave the nasty, gritty tasting vein in. They live in small town MN, and are self conscious about it, so I haven't told them that they are essentially serving shrimp shit. I just eat one or two, and fill up on the side dish.

• Does all shellfish need to be deveined, or just shrimp?

  Jew who's never eaten shellfish

• Remind not to eat the shrimp.

• Was your ass clean? Least you could do

• Write back in 10 years and lets see if the same thing is still going on. Enjoy it while you can.

• I don't believe you. Send us the pictures.

• You are a whore, darlin.

  Cristal%20Conners

• Ripping shit veins out of shrimp bodies has that effect on a lot of guys.

• "Six callers ahead of us, Jimmy".

• Gross.

• What did you expect, OP? Dinner was hours away and ripe anilingus is an hors d'oeuvre.

  Gobbler

• I'll have the soup.

  Super%20Pussy

• Well, he was either going to get hepatitis from the putrid shrimp or from your shit-laden asshole. So, I guess it was a toss-up.

• Wow, sounds like a kitchen full of bottom feeders.

• That is one of the least erotic scenarios ever.

• The OP might be an ass, butt, he is no coon ass. People from Louisiana don't bother with the that shit, flavors the stew you know.

• I remember when Arthur Treacher once asked me "Would you like some shrimp?" We were in the wings during one of my Xmas specials just before my first number. He had just licensed his name to that shitty seafood chain, so I said with comtempt, "I'd rather eat your ass." He replied,"That's where I put the shrimp." True story.

  Helen Lawson

• Get a room!

• If he's still doing that 5 or 10 years from now THEN I'll be impressed.

• Now don't scoff at the OP boys...I was mowing the backyard last summer and my boyfriend was just getting out of the shower so when I passed by the open bedroom window I got a good look at his cute,fresh little ass. Naturally, I had him stick it out the window and jerk himself off while I gave him a very thorough rimming. A little tacky I admit---but VERY hot and memorable. And we've been together 10 years.

• and they wonder why the houses inn this neighborhood won't sell

  neighbors%20of%20R30

• Dear lord in heaven!

  Concerned Swim Team Mom neighbor

• Did the boyfriend take responsibility for the delay? At the very least he could have mopped the kitchen floor for you.

• Did he dip the shrimp in your ass and eat it out?

• This is why you should serve live monkey brains

• What did your boyfriend eat out of your ass?

• LOL R19

• Do you have blue eyes, starred in Knot's Landing and are named William?

• So, the kitchen smelled like 3 day old pussy AND dirty moist ass. Did any of your guests pass on the meal? What did you serve?

• That's beyond disgusting. I hope none of my friends ever serve shrimp again. If they do after reading this trash, I'll have to pass.

  No Shit Thanks!

• The triumphant return of the surprise anal troll!!!