I'll always be a man who finds only men sexy. But I'm tired of the 'lifestyle': the std's, the social climbing, the shallow relationships, the rainbows and the parades, AIDS and discrimination, ageism. The body nazis, bears, cubs, daddies, twinks...
It's like- all bad.
OP is the male Cher Horowitz.
Is this a real post? That is "the lifestyle" because that was the lifestyle you chose to live. Take some damn responsibility for your choices, you sound tiresome.
Social climbing is the only reason for your rant, cupcake. We aren't fooled.
It's such a bore! Coming-out parties... inauguration balls... openings at the opera... riding to hounds... and always the same 400!
Turn in your toaster and your scarf and try not to fuck the pets, OP.
Tired of the dark ones; starved for the blond ones!
You mean you're tired of gay culture, OP, not lifestyle.
R6=lacks reading comprehension.
The OP is complaining about things that have nothing to do with being gay, it is about specific lifestyle choices he made (if we just pretend this post wasn't trolling).
Being gay is what you make of it. You hate your experiences so far? Well, why not change some old habits of yours and leave the stuff you don't like behind?
OP, are you gay in a shitty 90's sitcom? If so, that's your problem. Come be gay in this decade.
So don't live the" lifestyle," Einstein. Next!
OP, you're sticking to the old ways of being gay when we all had to live in the closet.
Stay out of the bars, away from the parades, away from the bathhouses and the bookstores, away from Craigslist and all the online sites.
If you want something meaningful, don't look in the back room of Bucky's at 1 am. One does not go to McDonald's for filet mignon, if you know what I mean.
There are SO many places to meet out, sane, smart, well rounded gay men (and women). Churches (yes, many are LGBT open and affirming). Social groups. Get out and go to things.
All that drama about who fits where in the bar scene, who's hotter, etc etc etc is just that: drama. It's grown men acting like 12 year old girls. Either embrace it, or walk away from it, but you will not change it.
All those things you mention sound like "young" things and not even necessarily gay things. All 20 somethings do backstabby, shallow shit and only young people do the ageism thing. Hang out with some grown-ups.
What R2 said? Why are you choosing to live that way? Do you not realize that, you know, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN LIFE?
Not just his own life, the gay community. We are all community builders, like it or not and the community reflects what we do.
You want to start a club where gay men meet and sit around watching sports and nobody talks, then do it!
Then why do you post on Datalounge, OP?
the straight people aren't happy, either
[quote]Then why do you post on Datalounge, OP?
Because he's paid to.
OP is the freeper and R6 is the pimple on his anus.
LOL @ r18. And true.
What an obvious troll-baiting thread.
I've got news for you, OP - it just gets worse.
Agree with R22- silly post, silly OP.
And we're all tired of YOU, OP.
So what are you going to do about it? Something quick and brutal and self-administered, we hope. You know, so you can maintain our standing as victims of a high suicide rate, too?
The truth many may not know and others may not want you to know is, for every one living the "lifestyle" there are probably 4 or 5 quietly living among the rest of society.
OP in your defense - I am a professional who joined a gay networking group of other professional gay men and women. Lawyers, doctors, Indian chiefs, etc. I went to five events- each felt like being in a gay bar. A great many guys just grouped off. Only the women talked and exchanged business cards and really networked. I think gay men sometimes take the gay culture wherever they go. That makes it hard to communicate with a great many of them, which is your real problem. Gay men aren't any better at really getting to know someone. But all men can be like that. Take your business elsewhere. Do the things you really enjoy. The gay community won't ever live up to your standards. So raise them somewhere else.
Op, most of us gay men and women are just your average schmo, no galas, no fundraisers, no ladders of fame.
OP neglects to mention that he got fat.
I keep wondering where this gay lifestyle is that I keep hearing so much about. Somehow I missed the memo. For me, being gay is a good job, great partner, excellent friends, crazy family, sweet dog, etc. Throw in a dash of catty and a pinch of base sense of humour and you're done.
Well troll or not, I get the post. However, there are just as many shit things about being straight, if one generalizes about straights in the same way. Not all of the stuff in your list is exclusively gay/ gay culture.
As others have posted, there's plenty of us who are unlike what you post.
True OP, those aspects of gay life are tiresome. But gays don't live in a box. Don't let those experiences alone define your experiences as a gay man.
Why don't you turn straight, marry a member of the opposite sex, have babies, then after you bring all theses people into your life, realize you were happier with the gay lifestyle you now profess to loathe, then leave them all broken & return to where you started.
You should be yourself.
well i'll be damned! std's, social climbing, shallow relationships, discrimination, ageism, and body dysmorphia are strictly exclusive to gay culture. these ills can be found everywhere hun. being gay requires one to develope a self-assuredness and stringent individualism that is unparalleled by most. if class is in session then being gay is like double honors or ap. you simply been doing gay wrong and want to blame the 'lifestyle'. but my advise to you is that now that you know better, surely you can do better. right? you have no one to blame but yourself. you don't have to jump on every bandwagon.
Well, I'm tired of being old! I need to be twenty-five again!
What a stupid thread.
OP, you're hanging out with the wrong people. My gay world includes NONE of the dumbass gay people you listed. Your world can exclude them, too.
OP, you don't need to buy into any part of what you call the "lifestyle." No one is forcing you to do that.
I've gathered from reading the pages of DL that gay men find it enjoyable to fuck pussy, so that's half the battle right there, OP. Enjoy your fresh new heterosexual lifestyle.
Just be a homosexual. It's way classier.
So, Nate ... have you started working on 2014 numbers yet?
Go eat a pussy and see how you feel.
Really the only practical advice, R43.
OP, why do you feel there is one "lifestyle" that defines being gay?
I'm gayer than Christmas and I've never had an STD. I don't do "social climbing". And I don't give a fuck about body nazis.
AIDS is not an issue in my life because I've always practiced safe sex. I've been to pride parades but don't feel my attendance is mandatory, so that's not really a big deal anyway.
Ageism and descrimination? You combat those with visibility and vigilance, not by bad-mouthing the gay identity or stereotyping us all as label-obsessed scenesters. If you measure your gay identity by bar cliques and social diseases, that's your problem, not mine.
I'm tired of being tired.
I don't know why they call it gay, because most gays are not happy
You're not happy, R49.
r50, then explain the astronomical substance abuse and HIV rates?
There are no accurate assessments of HIV rates or drug abuse rates since the assumed denominator of all the statistics you've heard is only a tiny subset of the actual population.
We can't know gay people STATISTICALLY until we we can find a way to capture the population STATISTICALLY, and that has never happened.
OP? Hurry up and make the switch - we're hot and we're waiting for you!
It's not complicated- a small subset of men are attracted to other men. An overwhelming majority of men are skeeved out by that kind of attention.
So your realistic pool is limited, and massively stereotypically "Mary!" gay. Sounds like OP simply likes guys, realizes hr's limited to gay guys, and is uninterested in that culture.
It's a tough hand to be dealt, so let him vent. If you want a guy, but 95% of guys want pussy, and of the other 5%, 99% are Mitch, Cam, Nathan Lane, bitchy, gossipy, un-guy like or cartoonishly posturing "daddy" creeps---- that's reason enough to be frustrating.
Hopr the next generation of bromosexuals has better choices.
There are gay men that live the suburban lifestyle- SUV's, cars, picket fences, pristine neighborhoods, pets.
You can do that either with a gay man or a het female. Your choice OP.
Then what should gay men do, R51? What you prefer? Would you rather gay people be killed?
Would you rather them to try really hard to not be a homosexual and get intense therapy to "cure" them?
What would you suggest?
R55, the real number is at least 20%, probably 25% these days.
R58 maybe in some self-selected areas, but the global population is not 20 -25% homosexual. Wait till the shortage of young womrn hits China. The one-child favored males will be competing for sexually desirable women, not having sex with each other.
Biology trumps fantasy.
Try being a lesbian, OP. It's even worse. You start out wondering how there can be "angry lesbians", seeing as most over 50 seem to be, and then you see your standard of living declining (low wages x2) while every other couple seems to be doing far better (gay and straight), plus you have to live with that shitfest called facebook, and at 35 you already are one angry lesbian. And it sucks.
R59 must work for census. Or, he's just an asshole. Maybe both.
Don't I have a right to be tired of being gay? Sheesh!!
I heard suicides are dramatically on the rise. Gay or not gay. Seems it's just the neverending recession, and this sense of gloom. People are just not happy, they're desperate.
TBH, I think about suicide at least once a week, and this has been the case for about three years. World in general so depresses me, and I see no way out. Also have trouble sleeping and it doesn't help matters any.
Every time I make a friend at work I am greeted with a story like "I was molested by a family friend at 13" or "my dad died when I was little and my husband pressured me into getting pregnant when I wasn't ready". I haven't told them my "me and my sister were abused by my father when we were about 6-7". There's more but at some point you just know you can't talk about it.
And I'm also not about to spend the only cash I have left for personal expenses on therapy. With that money I travel 2-3 times a year and it's my only joy in life. It will soon wear out, I bet.
Is this thread serious or a bunch of anti-gay assholes?
All of you claim to be gay, which is doubtful, but regardless if you are gay or not, offer up some suggestions to not be gay anymore.
Being gay is fun when you are in your twenties, and then it ceases to be. Society expects you to behave like a responsible adult, except gays are very much infantilised by society as well. So you're kind of a old adolescent who isn't cute anymore. It really sucks.
Cannot tell you how often I long for substance abuse. Haven't gone for it yet, if one day I do it'll be for good. I hope I'll at least have a productive artistic activity, otherwise I'll just as well let myself rot and die.
I was molested as a child and that's why I TURNED gay. I was heterosexual, as we all are when we start out, because heterosexuality is normal and the pure sexuality, like white skin. But, since some pervert touched me I have been forever imprisoned in this disgusting perversion, like a man trapped in black skin.
How do I rid myself of this "homosexuality", this "gay"?
Do I kill myself? Do I kill other "homosexual perverts" before I take myself out?
What do I do? I'm tired of being "gay". Perverts hi-jacked that word.
R61 Anyone who thinks 20% ~ 25% of the population is homosexual is simply deluding themselves.
Right, r67, it's closer to 10%.
OP, stay away from the scene and create your own.
r66 is scaring me.
Depressed people like R63 and R65, you should meet with a homeopath. I'm on homeopathic drops that cost $10-15/month. My personal remedy supports serotonin and dopamine, along with anxiety and a few other things. These little drops taste like water and make all the difference for me. I take them three times a day. If I forget for a day or day and a half, I get depressed. My drops have no side effects, and so long as I take them, everything stays stable. It's worth a small chunk of change to enjoy life and see more than gray. Yes, the world still has big problems, but by keeping myself balanced, I'm still willing to live, and I experience happiness too.
R59, China already has the effects. They import Eastern European women (human trafficking) because there simply aren't enough Chinese women available (supply woefully inadequate for demand). Chinese women can gain quite a lot in assets by entering a marriage contract, because competition is fierce. The Chinese government now offers extra money to couples willing to have girls. Usually it's poor and desperate rural folk who go for it. They still lose in the long run because Chinese society only supports elder parents of male children. If only they'd change it to support parents of both genders, there would be no reason to gender select and it could balance over time.
Everyone is white until they are touched by a pervert and turned black (or I guess Asian)? What an interesting assertion.
R67 is ridiculous. The worst time to be gay was 1991 when AIDS was rampant and hate ruled the nation. And what did we find then in secure personal interview surveys - not anonymous phone surveys? 20% had same sex fantasies and 17% of men and 11% of women had acted on it at some point. And that was the worst time to be a gay in recent memory.
Nowadays most people 35 years old are unmarried. And you're gonna tell me that all but a few of them are straight? Not computing. Gays are no longer a small rebel force but a COVEY OF FABULOUSNESS!
R71 Yep, China skewed the demographics by favoring male infants, either killing unwanted girls ot then by gender-selecting abortions, so now there is a male surplus. But no increase in homosexuality, just in competition for desirable women.
We're tired of you being gay, too, OP.
Never fear OP, the gay thing passes with age. Only our active years can support being gay. Once we settle into our stable years, and that can vary for many, the gay goes away. It's a rather big let down but Gay is replaced with a sense of security and new understanding of happiness. Being gay is living without happiness of depth, that's why it is unsustainable. Think of a sinking row boat, one can stay afloat so long as one has the energy to bail water from the boat faster than water is seeping in. At some point ones capacity to bail is overcome by the seeping and the boat sinks away. That puts us in the lake with every one else, it's a shock, but we soon realize theres more lasting pleasure floating in the lake than with all that bailing in the gay boat. You still remain you, men are still your thing, but it all begins to fall in proper place. Just remember to float face up in the lake.
OP, take a day off, go to a NASCAR race, see what you're missing.
You'll be back in chaps and spurs within 24 hours.
In the words of the great Stoic philosopher, Epictetus:
"It is not external events themselves that cause us distress, but they way in which we think about them, our interpretation of their significance. It is our attitudes and reactions that give us trouble. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them."
R77 - Have you ever been to a NASCAR race?
Lots of good looking men in tight jeans.
Often lots of service men in fatigues.
I've found events like NASCAR races and state fairs remind me just how gay I am. Although in a good way.
R66, if you're for real, get therapy.
Or kill yourself but no one else. If you define 'gay' the way you do, you are not equipped to determine who is a pervert and who is innocent, so stay the fuck away from other people.
No one deserves to die because your life sucks and you're not bright enough to get psychological help for your distorted thinking. (You were a victim, someone can't 'turn you gay', etc. See a real shrink, not an armchair one.)
Gay is a subset of homosexuals, OP. Don't be railroaded into thinking gay defines being homosexual. That why I will be attacked for my post, @ r76
[R60] Lesbians actually have it way easier than gay men. Firstly, they don't have to worry about catching HIV and don't have to practice safe sex ALL THE TIME.
Not to mention the majority of straight women are not disgusted by lesbians unlike straight men are about gay guys. I have never seen two gay guys hold hands down the street but I have seen several VERY affectionate lesbian couples in public.
Lesbians have it way easier.
OP, try fisting.
You'll feel better.
R80. Please, R66 is like the "atheist socialist for Obama" who was posting hate-crime, anti-Semitic, anti-Black, anti-gay graffiti around Oberlin, in order to have something to denounce. Or the lesbian student athlete who staged an attack against herself
R66 is artless in his or her clumsy agitprop.
There are SO many places to meet out, sane, smart, well rounded gay men (and women). Churches (yes, many are LGBT open and affirming). Social groups. Get out and go to things.
Bullshit--I live in NYC and this is a myth perpetuated by straight people and gay men in relationships
I think R66 is making fun of all of the self-loathing trolls and the homophobic trolls in this thread.
Ageism isn't an exclusively gay thing, it's mostly an issue of (young) males. Have you ever heard what 20/30-something straight guys say about older women behind their backs?
Also you don't find as much ageism between f.i. People in their 40's and those in their 60's, the generation gap becomes narrower as you grow older, whereas the average 20 year old perceives a 30 year old as someone from an entirely different era, whom they will never be able to relate to.
How can you say it's "all bad?!?" Have you SEEN this video!?!?!
This thread is troll-bait. Please delete it webmaster.
"Ageism isn't an exclusively gay thing, it's mostly an issue of (young) males. Have you ever heard what 20/30-something straight guys say about older women behind their backs?"
No, because most of the straight guys I know don't say anything at all about older women behind their backs. Other than relatives older women don't exist for them.
The straight guys you know then must be every straight guy in the whooooooole world.
To meet people at events, there has to be events offered to attend. Not every place is NYC. I went to a summer outing, 13 lesbians, 1 other gay man.
[quote]No, because most of the straight guys I know don't say anything at all about older women behind their backs. Other than relatives older women don't exist for them.
Most straight guys I know somewhat fetishize older women. I blame American Pie.
Gay is just a phase.
You will always be gay even if you stop sleeping with men.
[quote]I'm tired of being gay!
Don't worry, you'll grow out of it.
OP should read "Passage to Ararat" about a similar feckless cowardly person struggling with identity issues.