Love it OP.
On a side note - posting the 2003 list was my first ever post of DL. Has it been that long?
Rendered bogus by including Obama and Clinton.
I'm surprised he spared Honey Boo Boo.
And he omitted Michelle Malkin.
Thank you for posting that OP, it is hilarious!
I enjoyed that, OP.
He or she is greatly influenced by Hunter S. Thompson (aren't we all?) however, as with when I read Thompson, I became exhausted and, halfway through,I started skimming.
I thought Seth MacFarlane was the world's most annoying atheist? I suppose it would be difficult to beat a nut-job Sam Harris though.
11) Tennessee State Sen. Stacey Campfield
Charges: A rising star in the overcompensating closeted community, the “totally straight” Campfield authored the ultimately ill-fated “Don’t Say Gay” bill, banning Tennessee teachers from discussing homosexuality in schools. Now the state senator, who totally loves sex with “women,” is thrusting two deplorable bills through Tennessee’s legislative bunghole–one that would mandate school employees to out students they suspect are gay, and another to cut welfare to parents whose children are underperforming academically. The latter’s particularly frightening, considering Campfield’s contribution to academia has been to regurgitate claims made in the thoroughly debunked ’80s book And The Band Played On that HIV is nearly impossible to transmit through heterosexual contact, and that origin of AIDS was…
Smoking Gun: “It was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men. It was an airline pilot, I believe, if I recall correctly.”
Sentence: Made to watch gay porn with a wired elastic band around his penis. If his member becomes engorged the band sensor trips a robotic hand which then squeezes the trigger of a gun pointed directly at his head. Out of the gun will pop a flag which reads: “We already know you love cock.”
[quote]Basically, he would’ve told the American voters he’d kill Hitler with his time-travelling Mormon cock if he thought it would’ve played in Ohio.
No he didn't, R3.
Whomever wrote this has serious hate issues. They're right on many counts of course, but this level of vitriol, especially so long after a heated election only proves the person putting this together lacks creativity and has severe psychological issues to spew such absurd hate, especially at such obvious choices.
This site is trying much to hard to be relevant. Apparently the OP finds it really hip and, you know, "edgy".
Oh wow, another liberal, but not "too" liberal white guy bloviating about anyone who commits the cardinal sin of being "extreme" (like Todd Akin and his dubious biologiocal theories, and Barack Obama and his "polarizing" insistence on having black ancestry). His go-to civil rights issues are of course the safe ones (gay marriage, contraception and limited gun control). He can have a seat now that we've heard his screed for the one millionth time on tonight's re-run of Law and Order.
They omitted Clint Eastwood.
Fully agree re Damon Lindelof. He ruined Prometheus so badly, I'm still mad thinking of it.
And r11: get lost.
His rant against Rubio was accurate.
(But I still feel sorry for Rubio.)
I don't feel sorry for Rubio. He should never have let himself become a patsy for the party.
As far as TV writers go, he should have gone after Ryan Murphy and Lena Dunham over Aaron Sorkin.
They omitted R11.
I agree, r11. This year's list seems like it was written at the last minute, on some sort of rage drugs. In years past, the commentary was bitingly funny. This year, it's a bit...sociopathic.
Matt Taibi used to write them, Ian Murphy does now, r18. May explain the difference.
27) Bill Clinton
Charges: Inspired nauseating worship from the “liberal” pundinista with a glacial DNC speech which clearly articulated the stark differences between the Republican and Democratic parties that don’t actually exist. Hypocritically blasted the Bush administration for leaving Obama a mess he more than helped create by signing NAFTA and repealing Glass-Steagall. Affable and charismatic, he’s the perfect “aw, shucks” pitchman for America’s institutional amnesia.
Smoking Gun: “You see they want to go back to the same old policies that got us into trouble in the first place…to get rid of those pesky financial regulations…”
Sentence: Must play Blanche to Morris’s Dorothy.
) Barack Obama
Charges: Best actor to ever occupy the White House, he’s both polarized and duped the entire nation through sheer charisma and melanin. While the batshit Right’s been calling him a dog-eating black-Mao anti-Christ who’s intent on crushing capitalism, sweeping in Sharia Law, and probably fucking your ivory-skinned daughter just to watch you cry, in reality he’s been the strong Republican they dreamed Romney could’ve been. He bombed the shit out of Libya without Congressional authorization, he flip-flopped like a trout on campaign finance, his healthcare reform was born out of the conservative Heritage Foundation, he’s prosecuted more whistleblowers than all previous executives combined, never closed GITMO, Wall Street is little regulated and booming as loudly as the guns that still sell like hotcakes, and for good measure he’s grabbed Bush’s baton of the unitary executive and sprinted toward dangerous legal precedents where he and future presidents have the extralegal authority to rain Hellfire missiles down on American citizens on American soil from flying fucking robots! If the Civil Rights Act marked the moment when Republicans stopped being the party of Lincoln, it’s this compromising-with-fascists administration that signifies when Democrats stopped being the party of FDR. But it’s all political, social smoke and mirrors. Up is down. Left is right. And what we get is a weak progressive majority, and prominent dipshit liberals like Bill Maher, supporting and defending a man they’d deride under more objective circumstances.
Smoking Gun: “You know, I suspect that, on Social Security, [Romney and I've] got a somewhat similar position.”
Sentence: Vaccine-resistant super-polio.
How about John Boner and Bitch McConnell? How did they get spared?
Not enough variety in style. They all sounded the same this year. It was obviously all written at one setting. He should have stepped back and mulled a few and gotten some help from friends.
Great putdowns of Clinton and Obama, but also too heavy on right wing talking pundits that nobody watched this year. Yeah, they're horrible, but most of the people reading this have never heard of Dana Loesch and many of the others.
No I'am not some Freeper. I'm just glad I'm not the only who isn't drinking the Clinton and Obama lime flavored kool aid drink.
Please if you're going to try to pretend not to be a freeper, using the tired "kool aid" freeper meme is going to set you back pretty deep.
No I'm not some Freeper. I'm just glad I'm not the only one who isn't drinking the Clinton and Obama lime flavored kool aid drink
The one linked by R8 is an example of one that started well but ended badly. Another day of editing would have improved this list.