The Dowager Pope here

Any questions?

• Hey Gurl -- you know "papal retirement" doesn't come with a clothing allowance. You only get to keep what's on your back when you give the Holy See back their ID badge, cell phone, credit card, and car keys to the Popemobile. You don't even get to take your li'l shoes and flaming purses. All that regalia stays with the House. See ya 'round the pool!

• I have one thing to say.... Sashay, chante. Sashay, chante. Chante Chante Chante!

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• How many alter boys are you taking to the convent compound? At what age do you plan to swap them out for fresh young meat? Do you lose all access to the Vatican's extensive pornography collection?

• Do you have a personal relationship with Satan, or do you just worship him through service?

• Can I have your stuff?

• Do they let you take any souvenirs from the Vatican Museum? Before you go, can you carve your initials in the Sistine Chapel?

• Are they throwing you a party before you leave the papal throne? I wanna come! Will there be a dance? Hope so!

• Grab those hats and shoes bitch. You can never have too many hats gloves and shoes!

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• Have you done your exit interview yet?

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• R3, anyone so illiterate as to say "alter boys" doesn't merit the indulgence of attempting humor. Considering the opportunity missed, for shame.

• Does the Devil really wear Prada?

• Should I get Halo or Gears of War

• I can't wait to see who our next Holy Father will be.

• I've never met a Pope with such reforming zeal!

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• I have a friend who would LOVE that old red caftan!

• I hope that the His Excellency's wine compare's favorable to the Dowager Lady Ursula's homemade gooseberry wine.

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• Haha R9. That one made me giggle. I wonder who would perform the Poop's "exit interview?"

• Hey BITCH, you are not answering the questions.

• You in danger GURL.

• I have a boatload of nubile servant boys waiting to redecorate my villa on Capri. Think "baroque fantasia". Ciao bellas!

  Pope Bernadette the Fabulous