The Vatican should have an annual pageant to choose a Pope
What would be the various categories in the pageant?
Besides "Best Evening Wear".
Best Eva Peron balcony scene.
The Best Accessories category, in memory of Elizabeth Taylor.
Miss Pope said she has had eNUFF of those old Spanish Catholic ladies and they craziness.
RuPaul's Drag Race would be the perfect format for picking a new Pope.
There should be a cardinal from every registered Catholic country and, of course, a Parade of Nations.
They would ride in custom-made pope mobiles from the Vatican, down Via Veneto.
Cardinal Germany wearing a lederhausen robe.
Cardinal Italy gondolier stripes
Cardinal Norway with blond braids under the pope hat, and a shield
Cardinal Cayman Islands donning a huge coral instead of the pope hat, and seashells instead of the robe.
Cardinal Brazil in Carnival-Pope Drag (but with ash on his forehead)
Cardinal USA in a Lady Liberty motif made out of sacrosant robes and hat, and holding - of course - a scepter with incense, and a bible
Cardinal Congo topless but without pagan teeth collars or bones.
Cardinal Argentina in Gauchos
And so on.
Winner of National Costume: Cardinal Converted China in Beautiful Silk
The winner must promise never to work with children.
How about a behind closed doors contest for best alter boy?
Best Coverup in a Child Sex Scandal
Now you've got me imagining colourful Cardinals sashaying down a runway in flowing robes, striking a pose. Sashay, Shantay!
I'm thinking something like the Hunger Games - battle to the death in the streets of Rome or and the surviving cardinal wins. And the public gets to vote on which of many "surprises" are sprung on the contestants.
The crowning would be a bittersweet emotional ceremony as one pope removes his big conehead and crowns the new pope in tears, white smoke shooting from all sides of the stage, to a roaring audience of faithful followers.
Communion wafer Bake-Off.
I'm looking forward to the "Parade of Saints" opening number.
Maybe have the best looking cardinal wearing a cassock slit open up to the thigh. Europeans traditionally don't wear trousers under them.
Vatican's next Pope.
With Tyra Banks as host.
One of the friendly competition could be who scores the most alter boys.
"Your Amazing gRace."
Prospective popes travel around the world to see how many heathens they can convert. Hosted by Mel Gibson.
"Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it ... You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
We are switching to the new platform for The DataLounge this weekend. All of our mobile users have been using it for over a week and all first time users have been using it for about a month - which adds up to well over one million users. So we're ready to end this phase of the testing and move everybody to the new site. (more)
And yes, we've changed the look and some of how it operates.
Yes, we know you just *hate* it in well in advance.
Yes, we know we suck.
Yes, we are the biggest suckers that ever sucked.
But it was time for a change and with the huge shift to mobile it was long overdue. We've taken this opportunity not only to update the look but also make major changes under the hood (or "bonnet" if you're either British or pretentious or both). And we have to prepare for 2016 - a presidential election year where we can normally expect to see a 60% jump in traffic (yes, we've seen 5 presidential elections so far…Christ we're old).
The site has a bunch - nay, plethora - of new features which will make the site more usable: better search, the ability to ignore posters and threads, see link previews, to pick up a thread where you left off, spam and malware filtering and more.
If you want you can go explore and see for yourself, Click here.
And while running the tests we've noticed two interesting reactions to the new system - people are spending more time on the site and more people that come stay around longer and look at more stuff. Both good things. Yay!
Possibly we've not slain all the dragons and there will be issues that come up during the switchover. There's a help button in the lower right hand corner of the page which you can use to send us bug reports.
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