"The Minnie Driver Programme", a half-hour sitcom.

Premise? Cast?

• Minnie plays Minnie Lapage, a Broadway diva whose ability to deliver the goods onstage is only matched by her genius for driving her theatrical colleagues, lovers and personal staff straight up the wall. A combination of Carlotta in "Phantom," Helen Lawson, Dr. House, and Nathan Lane.

• Chin Up - Madeleine Chinworth is an accomplished career woman with an unfortunately shaped jawline. She begins to have a series of affairs with London's top plastic surgeons. Whoever shags her the best will be the one to perform the surgery that will make her stop looking like she's swallowing a kite.

• Bitter Sweet. A 'The Office' type of comedy show masked as reality show starring a bitter chef (Minnie Driver) who has to resort on being on said reality show to pay the bills of her floundering restaurant where she has to present that overly fake sweet, humble, and entertaining image of hers. Her bitterness and low self esteem makes her kind of a nympho who manages to make any guy around her uncomfortable. She also sees every guest star on her show as a threat so she tries to sabotage them in all kinds of ways while they are on her show. It's kind of a modern day AbFab with people being the lead's personal punching bags with her vicious derogatory comments and yet she's not getting it when they make fun of her as payback.

• Minnie stars as "Maddy Diver" a talented but washed up Hollywood actress who has trouble finding work, and considers turning to infomercials to support her family. Meanwhile she has to deal with an ex-boyfriend "Mike Donner" who became a huge A-list Hollywood actor.

  Ben%20Affleck%20-%20willing%20to%20direct%20an%20episode

• R2, wouldn't the plastic surgeons have incentive to perform the surgery before they shag her? R3, that actually sounds like it could work. I'd watch it with a different actress.

• "Driving Minnies" Mandy Driver teaches to the test, but finds this group of South Boston third graders too preoccupied by anatomy - her anatomy. Join Mandy and her students as they learn about science, love, loss, and the importance of genital hygiene.

• Minnie is a driving school instructor. And you guessed it, she drives a Mini Cooper. But her reason for choosing this job is to find a husband. Yes, Minnie is a cougar and she craves the young dick. It's set in SF with all those awkward hills and descents and Minnie keeps a firm hand on things at all times. Minnie eventually meets this amazingly gorgeous Latino who knows how to shift her schtick to perfection. It all goes well until Minnie has to meet his family. They don't like her because well, she's old as fuck and needs botox. But Minnie persists and her new beau loves that she can hoover with the best of them. (to be continued)

• How old is fuck, anyway?

• r8 Luise Rainer.

• "Transitions" Celebrated West End actor John Charlesworth makes headlines when he transitions from male to female and becomes Joanna Charles (Driver). When her grandmother (Imelda Staunton) cuts Joanna off from the family trust, she moves to America and finds herself in NYC, trying to define herself, her new life and restablish her career. Joanna finds herself developing feelings for an actor who was formerly John's main competition (Boyd Gaines) while competing for roles with a viperous bitch (Kristin Chenowith) who makes the actors look like babes in the woods. But Joanna finds strength from unlikely sources, like Emily (Joanna Gleason), who nursed an unrequited love for John for many years, and her building's eccentric landlady, Edna Quadrangle (Patti LuPone), who has some secrets of her own. Brava, darling, Brava!

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• bump

• Minnie's best role was her guest slot in AB FAB as the vacuous actress who takes everything as freebies as she feels she is entitled to ...

• "Royal Flush"- Minnie Driver, Adele and Rebel Wilson star as three birds who move to the States to become dealers in a posh Atlantic City gambling casino. In the pilot episode, their boss (Kathy Griffin) wants them to reduce at a "fat farm" so they can get better tips. But their ex-Russian gymnast instructor, Donja Kolmeabich (Brooke Shields) is a sadist! Also starring Andrew Dice-Clay as lounge singer Vinnie "G-Spot" Valentine.

• "Minnie Me!" She sings, she dances, she does all the parts... who needs co-stars, though she might allow one of those loser girls from "Circle of Friends" or Eddie Izzard, anyone who is willing to talk about what it was like working with her. Minnie, Minnie, MinnieTV around the clock. And she'll sing tracks from her long forgotten CDs, available on her website. She's Redgrave, she's Piaf, she fucked Matt's cashew, she's... MINNIE! Oh yeah, did I mention she was an Oscar nominee?

• "Still Keeping Up Appearances" Minnie is Stephanie, daughter of Daisy and Onslow, trying to raise her daughter Kylie as a single mother. She lives next door to her cousin and his husband, Sheridan and Tarquin Bucket-Talliaferro (pronounced "Bouquet-Tolliver"). They are played by Alan Cumming and Matthew Rhys. They have an adopted son (played by that urchin who was Gavroche in the movie.) Watch for cameos from Rupert Everett as the dishy vicar and Camilla Parker-Bowles as Bruce and Violet's pony.

• Looks like Minnie will be in an NBC sitcom this fall after all!

  http://www.deadline.com/2013/02/minnie-driver-to-co-star-in-nbc-comedy-pilot-about-a-boy/

• One hit wonder. She can never decide if she's British or not. She goes in and out of accents in interviews.

• R17, that's a bloody travesty, dontcha think guv'nuh?

  Madonna