How do you deal with racism?

I was just waiting for the bus. I was the only person standing at the bus stop, and as soon as the bus pulls in close enough so that the bus driver could see my face, he drives away. I know for a fact that the bus driver saw me, because he looked back, as he was driving past. Sometimes I feel humiliated by racism. I'm afraid of getting a boyfriend because of this. I mean what if he and I were out on a date and something like this happens. Would he still want to be with me anymore. God, sometimes life sucks a lot.

I meant I'm afraid of getting a white boyfriend. I ommitted the word white in the above entry.
OP
Once when I was sick, OP, I was standing at a bus stop (a single route bus stop) and a bus approached. I looked down to pull my bus ticket out of my shirt pocket and the bus just kept on going - apparently one is supposed to step out into the road and wave frantically.
Bus drivers can be jerks. I've had this happen plenty or times. I would not lose sleep over it. You can't change other people.
Are you white, OP?
OP, i'm the last person to comment on racism, I find some old racial comments hilarious in print. I'd never hurt anyone face to face, but some of the old put down descriptive comments just strike me as more hilarious than truly hurtful. I only mention this because I know it's wrong under any circumstances. Your particular experience should result in job loss for the driver. I hope you got the number of the bus and reported it to the ACLU and any other organization that can get the attention of the bus system involved. All I would do with the bus system is write a formal complaint and copy the local radio/TV and newspapers. The more pressure that is correctly applied will lead to a change in peoples actions and hopefully their hearts.
sometimes%20a%20stupid%20DL%20poster%2C%20me.
R4, no I'm not. That's why I wrote how do you deal with racism.
OP
Where do you live, OP?
R5, I'm going to do that.
OP
OP this is NOT an example of racism!!
Who are your people, dear?
R9, why not? The driver refused to take me because of my race.
OP
OP, the reason I asked is because where I live most bus drivers are not white. Non-whites can be racist, thus I question the implicit premise in, "That's why I wrote how do you deal with racism."
R4
I wonder if OP is the guy who kept posting about wanting to date white men and not liking men of his own race a few weeks ago.
How do you know it was racism?
This troll is getting really old and boring.
R14 The bus pulled in close. It looked like it was about to stop. Just when it pulled in close enough, that the driver could see my face, it pulls away. Isn't it obvious, that I was rejected a ride because of my race.
OP
[quote] The driver refused to take me because of my race. He didn't refuse to take you. And we don't know why he didn't stop. If you choose to take offence in everything, then your life is going to be miserable. And if you interpret everything as racism, your life if going to be miserable and people are likely to see at least some of your complaints as without reason.
"Isn't it obvious, that I was rejected a ride because of my race." No.
I feel hurt and angry for you, OP, now that I have a clearer picture of what happened. But in partial defense of R4, in my city all the bus drivers are AfrAm and often seem less than fully helpful to white passengers such as myself, so which side of the equation you were was ambiguous. I've been there too, OP, in reverse.
R15, I know people like you in real life. People who refuse to acknowledge the fact that racism exists and who hate hearing about discussions around racism. Racism will cease to be discussed, when racism stops. Not all of us are privileged enough that we can choose not to think about it. Just because you have never had this happen to you, doesn't mean others haven't. If you are not interested, honestly, don't bother commenting.
Why don't you just move to someplace where you wouldn't be treated like this? Someplace where it's the content of your pocketbook rather than the color of your skin that matters?
Are you articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy? If not, that might have something to do with it.
Joe%20Biden
You take the bus? Ew. You type poor.
OP, don't take it personally, but most of us on DL are either quite dim or in just to playful of a mood while on line to respond correctly to your misfortune. Even though your misfortune is due to many of us dolts on DL, it is impossible for many of us to be serious when posting. I'm not black or of color, but if I were, I would get one of those licenses that the NRA says everyone should have, and consider rendering these mean spirited assholes lifeless. I know this isn't practical advice, but I hope it conveys how deeply I sympathize with your "all too often" experiences. Now if I would apply this type of thinking on my part to guys with little dicks, I would be a lifer in prison.
OP, is it possible you "seem" gay? Is that what the driver was being prejudice about? And drivers of all colors can be cunts toward riders of all colors; San Francisco, where I used to live and still have friends there, is a good example of this; drivers are ruder than in NYC. I - and friends - have been running for busses and seen drivers deliberately close the door, just to be dicks.
OP, My sympathies but I've witnessed worse, and I'm blond. Riding one bus route in Vegas used to mean listening to non-stop KKK quotes. The very racist driver on this once an hour route refused to pick up a very good looking and extremely well-dressed Hispanic, because "he just had a bunch of illegal brats to support." I used to disguise my voice complaining non-stop to the bus co, and was still told that I was the only one who ever complained. Mr. Snow, the top dog of the bus co, told me in person, "if you don't like our service, then take a cab." Nothing was ever done to the bus driver, and eventually I just took a different route. Yes I know most Vegas drivers then and now are try hard to be kind and competent, but still . . . Mr. Snow remains the top dog of the bus co, and one who could care less about racial discrimination. Wonder if he would lie and say that he never told me that offensive statement?
I'm white but this kind of thing happens. I hate it but Iv'e learned to accept that people can be cunts. Try not to let it get you down OP. I know it's hard. Especially when you are in a hurry and need that bus ride. Cabs too. They are the worst.
[quote]I ommitted the word white in the above entry. who's the racist now?
I'm black and for some reason I never seem to have these kinds of problems. I never have a problem getting a cab. I don't get followed in high end stores. I don't do the bus, but most of the bus drivers appear to be black or those salt of the earth blue collar white types,who aren't keeping anybody off of the buses. Unfortunately racism is still here and the election of Obama, not once but twice, seems to have driven some white people off their rockers, but I've never experienced in your face racism. Then again, I'm not overly sensitive to this type of stuff, so it may have happened and I just didn't realize it.
OP the best way to get even with this bus driver is write a country western tune about your hurt, tears and depression, to embarrass him while making yourself rich. I made my bundle with, "Tears Clog My Ears, Lying On My Back, Crying Over You Babe."
Just%20trying%20to%20give%20you%20smile.
OP, perhaps you simply looked menacing - which has nothing to do with race. There are plenty of menacing and dangerous-looking low-lifes out there of all races. I'm not a bus driver, so I can't say what I would or wouldn't do, but there are plenty of people who ride those things that would make me nervous. Again, nothing to do with the color of skin.
As a white guy I experience racism all the time from black people. But it's okay, because of slavery.
OP, you're too old to be asking this now. But I will take you seriously enough to say that you need to toughen up. Do not give people power over you to assign worth to you or have the power to humiliate you. When people act out they are the ones with the problem not you. Don't accept their verdict of assigning value to you as a human being. That behavior reflects badly on them not you. There is nothing you have done to deserve that reatment or to elicit that treatment. And if you are gay you really better toughen up, because the same shit they try to shovel on you for beimg Black they'll also do to you for being Gay. You need to widen your circle of friends & accquaintances to include others of your race. Racism and descrimination are as old as human nature.There are people in this world who, thru fear and insecurity, feel the need to put someone else down so they can feel better about their own miserable existence. There is not a single thing you can do to appease them, to show them you're "OK." It's not personal. They don't care about you. They only respect assertive people. Get off your knees unless you want to get a dick stuck in your mouth. Only you can decide how important and how powerful they are in your life. You need to brush that shit off your back and keep on steppin'.
It's hard for non-whites to deal with the high level of day-to-day racism in the USA. But I wouldn't worry too much about a white boyfriend deciding to abandon you on account of this sort of thing. More likely, he will be far more indignant about it (on your behalf) than you are. I know that's how I would react, were I in the bf's situation.
A similar thing happened to me, but I'm white. This particular incident could have been the result of carelessness on the driver's part or any number of things. But I do believe that there is a great deal of structural racism that I benefit from as a white man and that I am not even aware of at times.
R23 - totally agree!
OP, I hope you're not trolling, because this made me sick. And few things do - I'm biracial, look white, love racial humor, understand stereotyping, and just try to be careful not to say or do anything to affect an individual. And that means what's said posting here, because calling Jennifer Hudson stupid is not the same as calling her a stupid black. Right? Yes, OP. Please report the bus driver - your know the time and route. Unacceptable. Write it and mail it, after getting the name of the person who runs the transit agency, and make it clear you were visible and that the driver looked at you. And then just accept that the world is populated by people with issues that get in your way, and choose when to call them on it. And let it go about a white bf or whatever. People will see you and love you for who you are (as they already have), and if anything like that ever happens in public, you'll deal with it together. If I were with someone and anyone pulled something like that, I would be the one setting it straight or nailing the asshole to the wall. You're not in it alone - we are all negatively affected by prejudice, and someone
The leap to assuming the driver's action was due to racism is, in itself, an act of racism.
What the OP says is of course true. Black celebrities complain that in Manahattan they have trouble getting a cab to stop for them.
Something is missing from this story. I can't put my finger on it. OP, maybe you thought it was the 22, but it was the 36 and wasn't scheduled to stop there at all.
[quote]The bus pulled in close. It looked like it was about to stop. Just when it pulled in close enough, that the driver could see my face, it pulls away. Is it possible that more than one route goes past that stop and if you don't get up to indicate you want to get on the particular bus as it approaches, the driver will think you want one of the other routes? I would think the driver could see you are black without even pulling in for a close look. If that's not the case then the driver is a jerk.
r26 the best way to handle that would have been to ride that bus, film the ride secretly, post on Youtube and send it to all the tv stations too.
A few years ago in Houston, my boyfriend and I were in line at Church's. the girl at the register was black. The customers in line behind us were black. When it was our turn to order she called the black people behind us up. We just left.
Bus driver got scared when he saw your big-dicked gay face, OP. You sound hawt!