How do you deal with the anger, the mood swings, the complete shambles of their life?
Go to Al-Anon. They all have been there.
Look into Al-Anon; I believe they will be able to help you!
You become just like him.
I left alcoholic partner years ago. 2 DWI's while we were together, and another after I left him. Driving our cars with no license, drunk. Spent money with no regard. Problems paying the bills because of his over spending. I cared about him but could not see living my life like that anymore. As far as I know he is still a heavy drinker. I hope is is happy and well, but living with alcoholism as a child I knew I did not want to live with it as an adult.
That sounds like my boyfriend, R4.
Been there, DONE that! RUN in the other direction. RUN!
Three ways to deal with an alcoholic:
1) Go to hell right along with them.
2) Devote your every waking hour to protecting and rescuing them until either you or the relationship drops dead.
3) Break up with your partner. Tell him you love him and would be happy to spend the rest of your life with him if he ever decides to quit drinking. Then go off and start life over without him. In the unlikely event that he's able to get sober and stay that way, you might give him a try again if you really feel up to it. Otherwise, just get used to the fact that he's one of the unlucky 95% of all addicts who never get cured and go on with your own life.
R7, I'll take door number 3.
I was the druggie in my relationships. They'd leave me when I hit bottom. But they came back when I got sober. As friends. Never went to rehab, just moved into moderation.
I'm a functioning drunk and am not a mean drunk. I don't drink outside of my home. My partner seems to handle it well except for when I want to drunk dial my cousin, etc. at 2 a.m. I'm fortunate to have him.
R7 is correct.
Leave him, leave him now! He'll never change.
Even if he quits drinking and gets sober, his new addiction will be AA.
Been There, Done That, Decided it Wasn't Worth it.