Rex Reed must be a Datalounger

In his review of "Identity Thief" for the New York Observer, he refers to Melissa McCarthy as "a screeching humungous, creep," as "cacophonous, tractor-sized," and finally as a "female hippo."

http%3A//observer.com/2013/02/declined-in-identity-thief-batemans-bankable-billing-cant-lift-this-flick-out-of-the-red/



• people who live in glass houses....

• What a bitchy review. He could have just written HISSSSSSSSSSSSS! and gotten the same point across.

• He's been writing like a DataLounger since the advent of talking pictures.

• Did he inherit Gore Vidal's collection of vintage caftans?

• All of Vidal's vituperation, none of his wit.

• Rex Reed once blew me in the parking lot of a Mcdonalds on I-95 in SE connecticut. He was clearly drunk at the time.

• Well, the movie is getting negative to mixed reviews so...

  http://www.metacritic.com/movie/identity-thief

• Interesting how she's consuming a big gulp sized soda in that ad.

• [quote]What a bitchy review. He could have just written HISSSSSSSSSSSSS! and gotten the same point across. Rex IS the epitome of the hissing eldergay.

• R's 2, 3 & 9 = Bitter fraus who have no business on websites for gay men.

  Begone%2C%20female%20hippos.

• He's more like a Bark-a-lounger.

• An immature review for an immature film.

• He's no John Simon.

  Sylvia%20Miles

• R12 = Female hippo.

• That guy is still alive??

• He's at least better than John Simon, who violently objects in his film reviews not just to fat women but also to (In the brilliant words of SPY Magazine) "women who are less pretty than he is" (e.g; Liza Minnelli, Barbara Streisand).

• Considered another way: DataLounge owes its bitchiness to at least three generations of graduates of the Rex Reed University.

• I saw him recently and he's held up well. At least, he's not wearing his paten leather Gucci loafers and velour suits he wore in the 70s when he was really petulant and prissy. He made a movie with Mae West and none of you did. And, he lives at the Dakota and none of you do except possibly Andre "Charlie" Oliver.

  Jacqueline%2C%20La%20Vicomtesse%20de%20Ribs

• R5 is correct. Also, Reed has been on the DL for years.

• [quote]Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids) is a gimmick comedian who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious with equal success. Poor Jason Bateman. How did an actor so charming, talented, attractive and versatile get stuck in so much dreck? This could be lifted from one of the numerous DL "What's he see in her?" threads. Rexy wants Jason in him quite deeply. I just wish he would have used one of my favorite fat lady slurs from here: heifertiti.

• [quote]He made a movie with Mae West and none of you did. Yes, it's often considered one of the worst films of all time. What an honor. [quote]And, he lives at the Dakota and none of you do except possibly Andre "Charlie" Oliver. Shows how much [italic]you[/italic] know, cunt.

  Alphonse%20%22Buddy%22%20Fletcher%20III

• R10 is 1,000 years old.

• Here's some Rex Reed gossip from a few years ago... Rex was in the habit of going down to New Orleans every spring for the Tennessee Williams festival, which is an excuse for literary types from around the South to spend the weekend in the French Quarter getting shit-faced. One year (and it might have been the last year he went) he hit the town on Friday night with Michael Green of Gourmet, and they ended up at the Corner Pocket, the Quarter's trashy male stripper palace. Early in the morning the hotel's front desk answered calls about a ruckus and found Rex with two black eyes and a fat lip -- bad enough he had to be doctored. Rex missed all his scheduled engagements the next day and when he finally showed up, the official line was that he "had fallen down the stairs at his hotel." I think Michael Green went back to New York early.

• He is exactly what I feared I might become when I was young and confused. He seems like such a miserable, mincing prisspot with a wound for a mouth.

• He's more Ralph than Donna. Needs to go away.

  He%20has%20fat%20head%20syndrome

• I think he rimmed me in the back of his new '56 Pontiac down in Cheviot Hills. I hiked up my caftan and he went to town. It was dark though so who could be sure.

  Myra B.

• I like Reed, he always been comfortable being nelly and funny. I don't think I've ever paid real attention to his reviews, but hen I don't pay attention any reviewer. I've just enjoyed seeing a guy so very much like many of the gay men I've worked and played with.

• The funniest thing I ever remember him saying was when he described someone's performance as "about as convincing as Esther Williams on horseback"... For some reason a bunch of us were watching his movie review show back in college, and we thought that was hilarious.

• [quote]Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids) is a gimmick comedian who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious with equal success. Poor Jason Bateman. How did an actor so charming, talented, attractive and versatile get stuck in so much dreck? I never realized Rex Reed was such an unaccomplished suck up. The sympathy-flattery one-two is just too transparent. How did he get as far as he did? Maybe his cognitive skills are slipping in his dotage. He could have been less obvious in his intent if he had the wherewithal or if he were a better writer.

• Does anyone remember, about a decade ago, when Rex was arrested for shoplifting from a Tower Records store in Manhattan?! His frienemies loved that!!!

• I thought his review was hilarious and the 576 outraged comments even funnier.

• Jason Bateman is the male Katherine Heigl.

• Rex Reed is a vicious dried up old queen. This is a funny movie. Fat discrimination. If haters aren't bashing blacks, gays, latinos, they're taking shots at people who are fat. It's the same old judgmental anti-social traits of sociopaths running rampant in our society today. Go see this funny movie and nevermind the old queen's nasty observations.

  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/08/melissa-mccarthy-identity-thief-review-hippo-tractor-sized-new-york-observer_n_2645276.html

• Who was the actress who said Rex was either "at your feet or at your throat"?

• John Simon once referred to Lillias White as "bovine", which is at least as bad as Reed's hippo comments. But Simon also said that one of the actresses in the stage version of Footloose "could only pass for a teenager if we are to include 'umpteen' ", which always cracked me up.

• Nobody takes Rex Reed seriously as a film critic. His schtick is "mincing priss-pot", and that's all people expect from him. That he's apparently reviewing a film is secondary to his camp-entertainment value, such as it is.

• Amen, R36. He might have been taken seriously in 1965 but then he made Myra Breckenridge and there went that. You can't make a movie on everyone's worst movies of all time list and then expect people to take you seriously. Both he and John Simon are tiresome with all their "if your work doesn't give me a boner then I don't like you" crap. Simon just uses bigger words to show he's a dick.

• R30 I remember him getting caught shoplifting. I always why nothing more was made of it. His excuse was so lame and don't shoplifters usually keep on doing it, like an obsessive-compulsive disorder?

  I%20Miss%20The%20Virgin%20Mega%20Store

• [quote]This is a funny movie. Which must explain the 25% rating on rottentomatoes.

  http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/identity_thief/

• [quote]don't shoplifters usually keep on doing it, like an obsessive-compulsive disorder? No. They sometimes just do it once and only to get in character for a movie role.

  Noni%20R.

• I don't remember how to do quotes in that box thingie but... Simon also said that one of the actresses in the stage version of Footloose "could only pass for a teenager if we are to include 'umpteen' ", which always cracked me up. ...is the best laugh I've had in a while.

• I just want to know how he found out Jason Bateman is versatile.

• Reed is such a stereotype.

• Who would've thought he'd outlive his costar Farrah Fawcett?

• Rex is funny.

• I saw the movie a couple of months ago. It's not that bad. I actually liked it...except the last scene.

• Elder, ELDER queer here. I remember my Mom was reading a Rex Reed book. I seem to remember it was "Do You Sleep in the Nude" So racy for its time.

• Rex Reed is totally hideous. I wouldn't fuck him with Hitler's dick.

• I love how he acts like Bateman was roped into doing this movie with McCarthy against his will, when in reality she was cast at Bateman's request.

• My mother loved Rex Reed. When he got caught shoplifting, Mom just shrugged and told me a story about one of my very proper New England great-aunts being a big klepto.

• Rex Reed's idea of the ideal female is June Allyson. 'nuff said.

  Talk%20about%20living%20in%20the%20past%21

• Rex was a great celebrity interviewer before we were inundated with them. Had no trouble reporting asshole behavior and in fun detail e.g. Streisand being a brat and Warren Beatty leading him on for days. John Simon was far more vicious. Said Sandy Dennis looked like "a stillborn calf".

• I want to hear more from r6. How was Rex's blowjob technique? Did he gum you?

• Was John Simon ever taken seriously as a critic? He was so vicious and nasty, far worse than Rex Reed could even think of being.

• Rex Reed said he loves old classic movies ,and he expressed how he hates the crap that Hollywood is producing now a days, so he gets disgusted with what he sees and saddened. I adore old films and the celebrities of the past much more than these losers we have today too. So I can understand what he is saying because Hollywood once produced Rolls Royces and now they produce Toyotas. However, he is the epitome of the gay stereotype acting like a bitchy flaming queen which I can't stand! And he always talks like he is channeling Michael Kors which I can't stand either!

• I don't know why, but I always got Rex Reed confused with Rip Taylor. My initial reaction to this thread was "why is the dude with the weird mustache hating on Chubby from Bridesmaids?"

  Chuck%20Barris/Chuck%20Berry

• Why did he say she looked like a female hippo? Was he afraid if he just said "hippo" we might think she was a male hippo? That hilarious cross-dressing hi-jinks were to be had? Anyway, I like McCarthy. She was great in The Nines.

• The hippo should call him a turtle

• Melissa McCarthy IS a hippo and the movie IS a piece of crap. What's so controversial about saying that?

• He's become like John Simon. Minus the intelligence and taste.

• "Was John Simon ever taken seriously as a critic? He was so vicious and nasty, far worse than Rex Reed could even think of being." John Simon was taken very seriously as a critic in spite of his being vicious and targeting actors for their looks. Rex Reed was never taken seriously as a critic.

• The film does look like moldy ass, but that review is far uglier than any criticism of a film needs to be. Reed is a frau hating, fat hating Mary. It's just that unlike the rest of Datalounge, he has a column and a publisher.

• Holy fuck, this guy is still alive? RR must be 80, at least. Anyway, where is this fuckwit's outrage at all the movies that are made each year with gorgeous female leads who inexplicably have fat, ugly schlubs as male love interests.

• Like a typical Datalounger, what bothers him most is her female-ness.

• I'll assume he won't be shop lifting the Blu-ray anytime soon.

• Even if Rex isn't a Datalounger, David Muir or somebody at ABC News is - this story got a lot of airtime tonight on the David Muir News Programme:

  http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/weight-wars-public-figures-make-sized-headlines-18452805

• He's awfully smartassed for a convicted shoplifter.

• I'm wondering if we all begin shouting "FEMALE HIPPO" at the obvious fraus and man-hating lesbians here, if this may actually work to banish them.

• R64 = Female hippo. Never got enough hugs from daddy. Would run over little boys in her Subaru if she could get away with it.

• This place has become overrun with fat fraus, man hating bull dykes, and those touchy queens who have political correct OCD.

• Rex Reed??? I didn't even know that old queen was still around.

• I think his review was spot on.

• Granted, Rex Reed is human garbage, but focusing on the fact that he's gay human garbage, citing his prissiness rather than his meanness, or calling him a queen, seems particularly and gratuitously homophobic.

• "Poor Jason Bateman. How did an actor so charming, talented, attractive and versatile get stuck in so much dreck?" Typical dumb queen - overpraising the average (cause it's male) and hating the female. Embarrassing. Jason Bateman "versatile" - since when?

• [quote]Poor Jason Bateman. How did an actor so charming, talented, attractive Ha. I'm going to take a wild guess there's no "Mrs. Reed". Bitchy woman hating queen. Does he insult all the fatass comedic actors (i.e. John Goodman) too? If so I'll retract the bitchy woman hating queen to just bitchy.

• I never forgave Rex Reed when I was a movie nut kid in NY and he reviewed for one of the NY papers, The Post I think. That I can't remember but do remember he gave away the ending to "JAWS" saying the shark was shot with an oxygen tank in it's mouth in his review. And in reviewing "Carrie", he said Sissy Spacek in the prom scene "looked like an unborn baby alligator filmed through red Jello". This of course before the Golden Globe and Oscar nomination. Even as a kid I knew he was a hack

• Oh boo hoo, R76. Since both of the films you name were based on popular novels that were best-sellers in their time, giving away the endings to those films was no big deal. Unless you are illiterate - which is clearly the case here. Get over yourself.

  Pauline%20Kael

• [quote]I'm wondering if we all begin shouting "FEMALE HIPPO" at the obvious fraus and man-hating lesbians here, if this may actually work to banish them Shouting "ELDERGAY" at rotten old fucks like you hasn't done a thing.

• [quote]Oh boo hoo, [R76].Get over yourself. I was a mere child at the time Pauline and you were already an old crone. Now you're dead. I win.

• Well, I for one want to go on the record letting sexy Rexy know that I'm a handsome,muscular rent boy in the French Quarter and I would love his company and the opportunity to help spend his money for him on his next Mardi Gras down here.

• reviewing "Carrie", he said Sissy Spacek in the prom scene "looked like an unborn baby alligator filmed through red Jello". R76, LOL! Oh man! that is too funny! LOL again! Rex nailed how she looked in that scene.

• I wonder if female hippo will replace the fish insult from now on?