Why do people fall asleep watching movies with friends?

I have a friend who visits a few times a year and usually one night while he's here we get a movie to watch at home that we've both been wanting to see. But almost ALWAYS he starts to doze off after about 30 minutes. WTF??? How it is that a person can't force himself to stay awake for a fucking film he insisted that he'd been wanting to see for months? Do you know people like this? Don't you find it incredibly rude?

• It's called fatigue, OP. Your friend is tired from the traveling he does to get to you. When you're the one who does the traveling, fatigue sets in when your body is not in motion and your eyes are the only thing keeping you from falling asleep.

• This is where surprise anal comes in handy, OP!

• Well, I have found the DVD player acts as a sleeping pill.

• OP, I think the problem is that

  zzzzzzzzzzz

• Movies usually put me to sleep

• Geez.....another eldergay thread.

  Whippersnapper%20

• Yeah, I don't last more than 30mins with a movie.

  Cheap%20date

• because they are boring

• The younger gays are all tired out because they have to spend all their energy being proud and masculine and have no time or energy left for movies!

• The grass is always greener...I am sure there are those with insomnia issues who wish they could fall asleep so easily.

• You sound oppressively high-maintenance, OP.

• I love movies, but sometimes fall asleep during a movie, especially long epic movies. Movies really put me at ease and cause me to relax. It takes me to a surreal place, unless it is horror or ultraviolent.

• Wow, you're a shitty friend if you get all judgey just because a friend who has travelled a long way to see you happens to fall asleep when relaxed.

• Maybe he got tired of your needy chatter during the film and thought it was the only option for shutting you up: Pretend to fall asleep.

• Imagine how difficult it must be, being op.

• I fall asleep on long car trips. It pisses some of my friends off because they want some conversation and/or navigational help. Sorry, I can't help it. Something about the car motion. Trains are a great sleep inducer for me too. I tell my friends, if you want me to stay awake, then I'll have to drive. Maybe something about being on a comfy sofa in a darkened room is a great sleep aid for your friend.

• It's the opposite of what R14 is saying. He doesn't give fuck all about the film, plus his eyes are tired. It's you he came to see and he feels so warm and safe in your home watching a movie with you (something that makes no demands on him for conversation) that he falls asleep. You should be flattered, not outraged.

• What r11 said

• They never do that with me OP, because at bottom they have a nagging fear that I will kill them and eat them if they fall asleep in my living room.

  J.Dahmer

• Slightly off topic here, but I've noticed in several threads, including this one, so many negative comments toward older gay man (or eldergays as there called). I don't understand the disrespect. I'm not sure if it's one person making the comments or several, but every time I read them I cannot help but to visualize the person leaving them being a very bitchy [childish epithet posted by a bigoted tool] young queen. Why the hate?

• [R20] For the most part if you are not sexually desirable you are dead to the young.There was a time in America where elders were respected. Baby boomers killed all of that in their self centered pursuits

• Sounds romantic r17 but you're only half right. As someone who travels at least twice a year to visit a friend, falling asleep while watching a movie is not about feeling safe or even warmth. It's really about fatigue. Can't help sometimes. You are right about not caring about the film. When you've come all this way and put up with plane, trains and automobile deal, it's the person you want to see, not the movie. No matter how many times I've told you I wanted to see that movie, it's not all that important to me. I can watch that film at home on my own.

• Well, I suspect the truth lies somewhere between what R17 and what R22 are saying. He's tired, yes, but he feels safe and secure with you. Instead of feeling insulted, you should tell him to rest his head in your lap or cover him with a blanket. Take it as a compliment, OP. There are millions of lonely gay people who would love to have someone fall asleep next to them, on or off the couch, movie or no movie.

• R21 There are so many older gay men, some well into their 50s, who are quite sexy IMO (and I'm in my 20's).

• OP, please report to your local chapter of Narcolepsy Anonymous. There you will get training and learn how to deal compassionately with people who have this condition.

• Lol at R20 and R21 blaming it on younger people. I'm young and open to dating older (younger guys can be such idiots). Many of my friends are open to dating older too. The majority of people who are turned off by older gay men are: older gay men themselves. Most would rather date a stupid and vapid 20 year old who looks perfect than date a smart and accomplished older man with a gut.

• Probably because they're tired, OP. Have you ever been tired? Or do you just stick with bring tiresome?

• I usually don't sleep well the night before a trip because I'm either (a) excited about where I'm going or (b) nervous that my alarm won't go off (if it's set for a different time than usual). Once I get where I'm going, I relax and that lack of sleep catches up with me. When I go on vacation, I tend to go to bed early the first night there because I'm exhausted from the anticipation of getting to my destination.

  Travel Weary, the Forgotten Dwarf

• R13, OP here. My friend also falls asleep during movies when I travel to visit him. I, however, was taught manners growing up. Even if I am dead tired after travel, I manage to force myself to stay awake if he goes to trouble to show me a movie.

• R20: Anyone who would speak derisively of ANY group of people is being immature. It is nonsense to assume that any one generation, race, nationality, sex, size, or religion has a monopoly on wisdom or foolishness.

• [R21] [R26] Exactly as I said, depends on sexual attractiveness. Now tell us how you regard and treat older guys that you don't find hot.

• Welcome to the OP Show.

• r29 OP if you know your friend has a tendency to fall asleep while watching movies, then at the next get-together, skip the movies. Go hiking. Problem solved.

• What R33 said.

• My ex sister-in-law (brother's wife) always claimed to be a movie freak. She'd get very excited when we'd go to the video store to get a movie. Once we were home, and the movie had started, she turned into some sort of ADHD monster. We were treated to lots of loud yawning and ostentatious stretching. If the cat wandered through the room, she'd start cooing to it loudly. Popping up from the sofa at intervals, then looking out the window or rummaging in the fridge. Trying to cuddle up against my brother and changing positions constantly, with giggling every time. The throw would on, then it went off, then on again, with murmurs of "I'm coooolld..." or "I'm hot..." Then, blissfully, she would finally fall asleep. It drove my brother and me nuts. She didn't have ADHD, just did this during movies. Boy was I glad when he divorced her.

• It usually has a lot to do with the particular movie you're watching. Not everyone is into the same types of movies.

• OP R17 and R22 make great points--isn't it enough that your friend expended the effort to come and visit you? Accusing him of being "rude" says more about you than him. I'm glad my friends aren't bitches like you.

• I don't have any friends who want to visit me. I have spent my life as a truck driver, and while I have had plenty of casual sex encounters, and I have plenty of acquaintances, and everybody seems to find me pleasant and like me alright, I still do not have any friends close enough that they would make a trip to visit me. You do have such a friend, OP, and yet you nitpik and criticize.

• I see that someone else has posted the obvious - it is a mark of huge trust if someone thinks they are safe enough to fall asleep in front of you. I think it's comforting and cosy.

• Eldergays can't stay up long past 9 pm.

• [quote]I think it's comforting and cosy. Oh dear...

  It%27s%20cozy%2C%20bitch%21

• It might be tiredness from work. If you do it again, do it on a day that he did not work.

• [quote] It's cozy, bitch! Not in the UK, where it's quite cosy at the moment. I wonder at grammar queens who are so quick to jump down throats, as it were, yet so unworldly to not realise that there are international variants in spelling and grammar.

• Well, the grammar queens are idiots and no one is snuggling up and snoozing with them.

• If the OP's friend does this every time and on other than just the first night, it's not the movies. Maybe it's the time difference. If they sit down and start watching a movie at nine or ten OP's time, it may be midnight or one for the OP's guest.

• OP does sound needy. and rather insufferable.

• [quote]Eldergays can't stay up long past 9 pm. Well, not on a Friday, after a long week of managing gaylings and their straight counterparts at work. I consider it a good Friday night when I'm only battling exhaustion and not loss of will to live.

• I'm like your friend OP. Once I put on a movie, I can't keep my eyes open for more than 30 minutes. It usually takes me a week to finish one 2 hour movie.

• They say people with less intelligence and curiosity about the world fall asleep more frequently and quickly than others

• I'm an eldergay (48) who has to get up at 4:00 a.m. 4 days a week to work 12+ hour days. Then I like to relax after work with a glass or two of wine. I usually fall asleep by 9, and that only gives me 7 hours of sleep a night. There could be a lot of reasons why someone falls asleep early.

• If a movie is awful, I will fall asleep intentionally. It is comforting.

• [quote]I'm like your friend OP. Once I put on a movie, I can't keep my eyes open for more than 30 minutes. It usually takes me a week to finish one 2 hour movie. That's too extreme. It may be that you lack focus and have a short attention span. Is that how you are in other aspects of your personality?

• Seems as though the majority of young people today, including my kids, have a short attention span.