I accidentally shot a four-day load on the family seder plate.

The one my great grandfather risked his life to smuggle out of Germany when he came to the US in 1936. It's been passed down from generation to generation. My mother asked me to store it with some other things in my apartment until her new place is ready next month. It was on my dining room table. I was pleasuring myself to a fratpad video while on my couch, and the load unexpectedly shot a good 20 feet onto the plate. I'd been ill since Sunday, and I'd saved up a four-day load. So I wiped it off with a tissue and washed it with dish detergent. Is that enough? Is there anything more I should be doing? My family plans on using that plate for Passover in March.

Ira K.
• 0.0/0.0, sorry, Mary, or should I say Rachel?

• Mazel tov!

• I'm going to call Benjamin Netanyahu and tell him about this.

• Such mishegas!

• Did your meat mix with your milk? Dishwasher and say a Hail Mary. Yea, I know but this may need a few religions to get you through. In fact, change that to say a rosary. Anyway after 6 days I think you're in the clear.

• And such small portions!

  Bubbe

• Such a big load from such a little pisher!

• Both you and the plate need to get to the mikvah immediately!

  http://coinlaundryblog.blogspot.com/2012/03/ten-questions-about-mikveh.html

• Say one Hail Mary, three Our Fathers, and make a good Act of Contrition.

• May I suggest mahogony for your next plate? It is much more easily cared for than seder, and its deep rich tones will enhance any dinner setting.

• Shalom Shabbat, indeed!

• negative 5 out of 10

• L'chaim!

• Are you HIV poz? I've heard that the virus can't exist once exposed to open air, but I don't know if that's true or not.

• Well are you?

• Heap the plate high with sliced ham, pork sausage links and crispy bacon. Place a ring of chilled cocktail shrimp around the perimeter and bring it to the seder. When the family gasp in horror and exclaim that you've defiled the plate you can bow your head and nod in shameful agreement without supplying any other details.

• Is this a joke? Or are you a jerk?

• Too bad it didn't passover the plate.

• This is your offering? Oy!

  Elijah

• I was devastated when last Thanksgiving I pooped on the dinner table to clearly bring to light the lack of clean water and sanitation in third world countries, and I was misunderstood.

  Fern

• 20 feet? That kind of cum shot would pucker your asshole about 12" into your gut. I'm a power shooter - most I can get is a few feet.

• You DO know you are now going to hell, don't you?

  Grandmother%20Yeshiva%20from%20the%20grave

• 20 feet! It's a miracle. And onto a holy vessel--that's no coincidence. Get pictures, rope off the area, and get a rabbi in! Contact those fratboys too. They'll have become Reform.

  Hosannah%21

• This represents the mortar that our ancestors used to hold together the bricks of Pharaoh's treasure cities they were forced to construct by the sweat of their brow.

• What's so special about a seder plate? And, can't you just wash off the cum?