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American Idol 2013

Nikki "No Talent" Minaj thinks she's fucking Simon Cowell. She's not, not by a long shot. Mariah is sweet but she dresses like she's a size two. She's not, not by a long shot. Randy is Randy and I'm hiring a Sherpa to search for Keith Urban's personality, since it hasn't showed up yet. I always root for the underdog. This year cutie Lazaro, who has had a tough life. Go Lazaro!

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