Do you have a difficult mother. I just finished dinner and I was slightly unhappy when my mother decided to rewash the dishes that I [I]just[/I] washed. When you are with her, everything you do is wrong or imperfect and everything she does is perfect. I honestly hope that one day I can move away from her.
Oh my god, and I partially blame her for the state I am currently in. For most of my childhood and adolescent, she closed me off from the world and put me in a cage.
So move out!
My mother in law does the same thing to me when she comes to visit. Rewashes or recleans anything I did. Strange that she's been single for thirty years.
But is she pluperfect?
In all seriousness, Joe, you have to tell us certain things:
1. Your age
2. Job/school situation
3. Why are you still there
Then you'll get some advice, hugs, or a kick in the pants.
Is this you Connor?
2. I'm still in college, and I've never had a job.
3. I'm in college, and I can't support myself.
Are you a sloppy dishwasher?
If you can't support yourself you have a nerve bitching about your mother. She could kick you out if she wanted. Your an adult. School or no. Time to support yourself and stop bitching about mom. You have bigger fish to fry than your mothers personality.
Did she literally put you in a cage or just figuratively do so?
You're not 20, OP.
r9, yes I am.
r8 figuratively i.e. I wasn't really allowed outside our apartment that much growing up.
r7 thanks for the advice.
OP you are lucky only your mom does this. Every relative who visits me does a variation of this. I let them entertain themselves and put my life back in order once they have gone.
Have you considered renting an apartment with some of your buddies from college? When I was in college, ten years ago, I had a blast living with my friends, and we were typically college messy.
My rent was $160 and a quarter of the bills--all in all, I think it was $200, but I paid less because I was the only one with a car and would give everyone a lift to campus in the morning.
You could easily cover a room of an apartment with a part-time job.
While you're with your mom, why don't you dream up your exit plan. First, get a weekend job so you can put away at least two thousand. Then start looking for a place.
Then get a job while going to school, and move out. You know, like a grown up.
Sorry Op did not see the part about still living at home.
If you are under 18 get a job and save money to either go away to college or move out when you are of age.
If, as you say, your mom really has caged you, she has some real problems that will affect you as an adult. Find a therapist who can help you sort through your resultant issues.
There's not much do be done, while you're financially dependent on your mother. As long as she's paying your way through school and giving you room and board, you have to put up with a lot of annoying behavior. Of course you can bring up little things like re-doing the dishes, and ask how you can avoid duplicated effort like that in the future.
The one thing I will advise is to get a job, any job! You'll presumably be hitting the job market in a few years, unless you're in some rarified field you really do want some work experience on your resume, and some reference who will say that you showed up and did what you were told. Plus even a part-time job will give you a little independence, and savings towards your own place.
I had a very difficult relationship with both of my parents. I left their home at 18, as soon as I finished high school and got a job. At first I did not intend to maintain contact or have anything to do with them, but they were the only parents I had. I settled in to a visit to their home on rare occasions, as well as my attendance at any family event including the two family reunions (her family at Thanksgiving, and his family on the 4th of July). The reunions and events at meeting halls of some sort were always easier. I always visited the hospital if either of them were sick or had surgery.