When I'm turned on by a guy, I feel all the internal stuff (heart racing, etc.) but I don't get hard. It just stays limp. I thought maybe it was low T or some other physiological reason, but I wake up with a raging hard-on every morning. Does it sound like a psychological issue?
How old are you OP, and what is your general state of health?
Check for Diabetes.
I'm 45, in good shape, healthy. I don't have diabetes.
Do you smoke?
Certain meed have this effect. Could also be dietary.
As you get in your 40s, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It's normal. Not everyone is the same. I know some guys in their 60s who still get horny every single day. But most men start to slow down in their 40s.
It wouldn't hurt to get a full physical and tell your doctor about it. Testosterone levels tend to be highest in the morning, so the raging morning wood might be misleading.
Don't smoke or drink. Work out every day. Am relatively healthy. Only physical issues are mild psoriasis (have had for past 8 years), some chronic sinus issues, and high cholesterol (runs in family) for which I take meds.
Spending too much time in the company of Snotty Gaylings can do that.
Just for the hell of it, have you prostate checked. If your psa is elevated proceed to a biopsy. I had your same problem when I was in my mid forties. I wish I had followed up on a slightly elevated psa. Ten years later, I had full blown prostate cancer.
Anytime I hear of a guy that gets morning wood but has trouble performing with a partner, It gets my attention.
I've been experiencing the same thing OP - I'm 43.
I've taken a few guys home lately and wahn-wah...sorry!
You're straight, dear.
[quote]I'm 45, in good shape, healthy. I don't have diabetes.
But have you had you Sugar checked lately? You can feel healthy and have it. A healthy 45 year should not be having erection problems.
r13, are you a Doctor. There are lots of issues other than diabetes, but you must already know that too, as a medical professional!
I am 26 and have this problem. I can usually get hard from oral, but can never penetrate. I guess I'll check myself for diabetes (I don't think I have it, but who knows), but what else could it be? Is there something I can do psychologically?
I hate to say it but I am leaning towards psychological. The fact that you can get morning wood means you can function.
The biggest sex organ is the brain. So sometimes we try to convince our self we like someone because the check all the boxes but at the end of the day, not sexually attracted.
Can you get hard by yourself watching porn?
I would see a urologist. Could be prostate issue. I had BPH and had to go on viagra. Dr. then switched me to CIALIS which is MUCH better.
You need your ass licked, boi.
Cum to daddy
OP: Mostly likely, inability to get an erection is psychological. Yes, it could be physical (and you should schedule a physical for your own peace of mind and for no other reason to please all the doomsayers on DL). Things do start to slow down in your 40s. But if you're waking up with a hardon, then things are working.
I'm experiencing the same thing. I'm 36.
Ask Alan Butterfield
There is no physical problem here, OP. It's just a matter of disinterest. I've experienced this too.
Let's face it, when a guy shows up wearing a jockstrap it is very boring...show me something I haven't seen before...
are all of you who are unable to wood up using something to keep the hair on your head on your head. there can be a tendency to wilting and using rogain
It's because you're dead, Bea.
Calling threads and people eldergays is getting tiresome. You too will grow "old" one day if you're lucky.
This thread is useless without pictures. But please, not of the psoriasis.
"I had BPH and had to go on viagra. Dr. then switched me to CIALIS which is MUCH better."
r17, why is Cialis much better?
And do you take the once-a-day pill or the pill you take specifically before sex?
Op - Time for you to watch Luke Macfarlane in ERECTION!!!
R29, repeating R12's comment doesn't make it any funnier.
Early stages of cardiovascular disease.
Put down the cheeseburgers.
OP, it is DEFINITELY because of the cholestoral meds!!!! We just went through this. My boyfriend ended up giving in to the alternative -- a healthier diet and lifestyle -- rather than continue a life without being able to get an erection. I am surprised your doctor wouldn't have explained this to you.
R30, it's a pity that you didn't appreciate the subtle differences between R12 and R29. 12 said "dear," whereas 29 said "obviously." Worlds apart. To say nothing of the inflection....
Did you ask Alan?
r27 Viagra gave more side effect and took longer to work. Cialis worked faster and lasted MUCH longer. I take it before sex -- not once a day.
OP - I think it's psychological. I have the same problem if it's a guy I really like. For me, I think it's self consciousness. If it's just a fuck, it's not a problem, but if it's a guy I would like to get to know on a different level, then I get a little shy.
I have the same problem sometimes. I think it's nerves. Especially if the guy is fucking hot... kind of a strange. Must be performance anxiety or something. I have no problem with average looking guys who make me feel relaxed and comfortable and are not "perfect".
That's it exactly, R37. But I don't mean GQ or magazine 'perfect', I mean 'perfect' for me. It definitely includes a certain type or look, but there are just some guys who something about them that attracts me. Consequently, I get anxious and it's even hard for me to imagine having sex with them. Weird. I know.
R38 We just need to avoid these "perfect" types. We cannot have them, it's not meant to be. It's like being allergic to shellfish when all you'd kill for lobster thermidor.
It is no mystery with me, OP. I never wanted to be homosexual, and I hate being homosexual. The only thing that I am willing to do to get off with another man is for him to suck me off. But only about 10% of my attempts have been successful. I usually get embarrassed about what I am doing, and start letting my mind wander to my life-long struggle against my same-sex desires, and lose my erection before climax. Then I will spend the night jacking off one time after another, in my frustration, until I am having dry orgasms and it hurts. Humans are complicated beings.
R40, most people aren't that complicated. You've just been fucked up by homophobia. Get some professional help. There's no reason to hate being homosexual.
R33, worth it to read this thread for that. So much funnier than just flat-out attacking the copycat, as I was going to.
OP, you're not going to get a perfect answer here but a lot of people are echoing their side of what it means to hit 40, so I'll add mine.
When I was in my 20s and 30s, I could get hard from the slightest sexual thought. Now, if I'm actually making out with someone I'm really attracted to, there's no problem. It's the same if I can tell someone is checking me out. Otherwise, I don't have the raging hardon probably because I'm not in that place where I need to jack off all the time anymore.
I also seem to get more aroused more quickly because I really feel good about my physique. I went through a period about three or four years ago where I was only about 60-70% of where I am now. Didn't feel sexy -- and my body seemed to know it.
So it's probably a mix of things.
If you wake up with wood often enough or can get it up by masturbating, it's not physical.
If you're primarily having trouble when you're trying to connect, it's probably psychological.
I read this thread as, "I'm having trouble getting elected", and was about to say, "you and me, both, brother!"
Willard "Mitt" Romney
Find a masseur/holistic massage therapist that is skilled in tantra, most particularly in lingam masage (penis massage). I am not joking. It helped me in overcoming issues of sexuality and body awareness, not to mention physically unblocking the pipes. At least try it.
r45, where does one find such a person?
also, are any of these online pharmacies reliable for buying things like viagra? are any of them trustworthy or all they all scams?
Where do you live, r46?
Don't start buying drugs online, r46. You don't need to go that route.
Go vegan. There's weird hormones in the shredded donkey balls - I mean beef - you eat every day. It fucks men up - look at all the sad fat loads with gynoboobies. ODD!
Try some cardio. You say you work out but if it is all anaerobic it won't help your dick.
R5 always gets hard.
For that 72 second journey to ecstasy.