Affleck Children Pulled From School As Director Prepares Assault on Academy Voters

HOLLYWOOD - Following surprise victories at the Producer's and Screen Actors' Guild Awards, star and director Ben Affleck has announced that he and wife Jennifer Garner are pulling their daughters from school for the next three weeks so that they may continue to assist in their father's public relations campaign for "Argo." "Knowing we have an uphill battle to climb to capture the Best Picture trophy, my wife and I have made the painstaking decision to pull our children from school so that they may accompany us on our daily and highly visible activities," Affleck said in a press conference, holding his one year old son Samuel in his arms. "Say 'Argo' into the microphone, Sam." Affleck then proceeded to provide a three-week itinerary to the press, and said that a real-time geotracking iPhone app will be available by the end of the week. "Tomorrow from 3 PM to 5PM we will be at American Girl Place. We are currently working with the store to clear a limited number of photographers with access inside the premises. On Wednesday we will be at Disneyland. Approved parties will have the cost of parking and admission recompensated by Warner Brothers." Future outings include the La Brea Tar Pits, the Queen Mary, and the Motion Picture & Television Fund rest home.

• OP, how many more of these threads will you be posting? Are you also the "AnnE" troll? You sound like an unhinged loon with no other life than to obsess over rich famous people. Get some air OP. Get outside, take a walk, do something good for humankind. You're killing yourself.

• What a cheap, desperate whore he is. Using his own kids that way, that pig doesn't deserve anything but a kick in the ass.

• You actually believe that shit, R2? Then again, DL is infested with gullible morons who'll believe anything as long as you say you're an insider.

• I had no reason to believe he was trolling/making shit up, smarmy asshole @ R3.

• OP made me laugh.

• Wow, what cranky reactions for a lighthearted parody post.

• OP, you cannot 'climb' a 'battle'. You can 'climb a hill', though. Apart from that, I liked your post.

  The%20Streep%20troll%20%28tm%29

• Good God, you're stupid, R2. Unless you're posting your own parody reply, of course.

• I eat shit.

  The Streep troll (tm)

• R2, think "Onion."

• The parody post works. Ben would do anything to win. His family has benefited from all the photo opps. He useually looks like he'd rather be anywhere else when photographed with his family but since award season he's smiling it up beyond belief. I still think he deserved an oscar nod for BD.

• This is hilarious. Love it.

  Dee%20Hall

• Very funny. Good work OP.