Loved this line:
Academy Award winner Halle Berry no longer can cite "Catwoman" as the low point of her career.
OP, you also forgot Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet, Emma Stone, Anna Faris, Liev Schreiber, Dennis Quaid, Uma Thurman and quite a few more big names are also in this piece of crap.
Agenda much? I think so.
For an Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry does not seem to have a film career any more, rather like J-Lo who did not even win one. Halle now seems to accept anything she is offered, ditto Cuba Gooding ...
Piss off R3. I picked out a few names, and of course this is DL so it made sense to put the names of stars most talked about here.
OMG, OP a ZERO.
A straight to rental with an awarded winning cast. Like the shit out of Chris Pratt's ass, this appears to be an anal expulsive scat fantasy.
That was a belabored article. I'm sure the movie is execrable, but Roeper isn't inspiring very much confidence either...
Ebert is a real shit connoisseur, so this must be really bad. But, I'll never believe it is worse than "I Heart Huckabees.'
After Halle's cray-cray behavior over the past couple of years, she deserves to be shit upon.
That's not just "withering", that's a full-on flamethrower attack. How the hell DID all those actors get into this thing? Are they ALL that hard-up for money? Maybe Ebert's right - blackmail.
The review was written by Richard Roeper, not Roger Ebert.
R8, you're an idiot. Seriously.
exactly, r9. I now hate her.
Wait a minute, I thought Roger Ebert had switched careers to the magnificent human Pez dispenser he now resembles! With that "art-deco, 1940's urinal" look his mouth has, every time I look at Mr. Ebert I feel like taking a piss.
I went. Walked out after an hour. Got a refund.
Razzie noms for everyone or just a select lucky few?
Why do studios even put Halle Berry in films anymore? She hasn't had a hit film since her small supporting role in X-men 3. I count 7 flops, direct to dvd films, or disappointments since the X-men films.
It's not a real movie, it's a collection of small short films. No one made any money. Some actors are only in it for a scene or two. It cost $6 million to make.
Did all these stars know that this was going to be released, or did they think they were doing a private "video greeting card" for George Clooney's Christmas party?
This movie should give us shower nozzle masturbation material for WEEKS!
The most withering review I recall is Anthony Lane's on Star Wars episode III.
Speaking of Yoda, Lane says:
"Also, while we’re here, what’s with the screwy syntax? Deepest mind in the galaxy, apparently, and you still express yourself like a day-tripper with a dog-eared phrase book. “I hope right you are.” Break me a fucking give."
I never found Lane's withering reviews very funny--he just seemed like he was being bitchy for the sake of being bitchy.
Now Pauline Kael's withering reviews used to just crack me up. Her reviews for "Willow," "Places in the Heart" and particularly "Heartbreak Ridge" ("It is a well-known fact that many people have very strong feelings about anal sex, but it's unlikely a film has been made about those feelings before now") are classics.
That Lane review was funny, R25 Break me a fucking give.
In a weird way, Ebert and his new train-tunnel, isosceles triangle mouth is like the AIDS quilt: he's been stitched up a thousand times yet he's still sad to look at!
R24, you're a ridiculous piece of shit. I hope you come through severe cancer with the kind of intelligence and grace Ebert has.
And as has been said a few times here, Ebert DID NOT write this review. It is indeed hosted on his website, but the review was written by Richard Roeper, his old "At The Movies" co host.
And you and pearl-clutching, prissy, stuck up little Marys like you, R25, had better suck your hero Roger Ebert's cock before THAT rots off from cancer as well. Self-righteous, preachy little bitch. You know, MARYS like you are the reason I prefer the company of non-homophobic straight guys over man-bitches like you; straights are so much more FUN than the gay community, for fuck's sake! I hate to say it, but it's 100% true.
FYI, I've taken medical care of a few different cancer-dying relatives who died more horribly than your stupid, uptight little turd of a brain can imagine. I've seen enough cancer death that if anyone is allowed to make jokes about the subject it's me, you uptight little vibrator-constipated sanctimonious cunt. I hope bitches like YOU die of cancer so I don't have to deal with your CUNT egos any longer. Why are Roger Ebert rimjob-fans some of the most humorless little-girls-in-male-bodies I've ever seen in my life?
Are these people in show business?
I'm not a completely cold-blooded man; normally I would support Ebert and tell him to keep his chin up......except he longer has a chin to do that! What more can I say?
r26, so, what's your point?
R26, look at all the hatred pouring from your fingers. Calm down.