We met at work several years ago and became friendly. She was smart, funny, and interesting. There's a fascinating edge there. I left to go work somewhere else but we stayed in touch. We go out for drinks and email and so on. The problem is that she is one angry bitch. She's from a very poor, trashy, trailer park background (by her own admission) and more or less raised herself (mentally ill mother, asshole father. She spent her teens and 20s being a punk rocker, working in bars, and generally being a badass. She eventually went to college, got decent jobs, and started writing. But she's still so angry and hates pretty much everyone and everything. She's never happy at work. There's always a multitude of problems and everyone is a hater and out to get her. She's extremely class conscious. To her, everyone with a middle class or higher upbringing is a rich bitch, or a trust fund brat, or a spoiled prick who doesn't work as hard as she does, or are as smart as she is, or are as cool, or as street, or as badass, etc. To her everyone got where they are and have what they have because of connections (that she doesn't have) and not because of effort. And she particularly hates other women who are prettier and younger than her (no matter how nice or smart they are). To her they're all just brainless sluts sleeping their way through life. When we get together for drinks the conversation is mostly one-sided. It's her bitching and moaning about work, her boyfriend (who recently dumped her), her family, the cycling community she's part of, etc. I get maybe a couple of minutes to tell her what's new with me but she's clearly not interested. She likes going out with me because I'm not intimidated by her and I listen to her. Or maybe I just haven't dumped her ass like most other people in her life. So why do I still see her? I'm not sure. I like her edge and she is smart and can be quite funny. And she takes me to the most interesting bars. But I always leave her feeling drained and negative myself. Do you have friends like this? How do I gently remove myself from this friendship?
Ja'Net Du Bois
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