Every family has (at least) one. Describe and discuss here.
At the moment it's me. My dad died in 2003 and I've given my mom about $15K since then, always when she asked with no conditions. I've done so out of a sense of duty, not love.
Two weeks ago she demanded more. She claims she has a tax bill that needs to be paid and when does she get her money? This time I told her I want to see a budget before I give her anything. I also just found out there aren't any taxes due. I think she's giving my asshole brother money and won't tell me because she knows I'll flip out on her.
She's devolved that request into a declaration that I hate her, that I don't respect her and that I wish her dead and has situational amnesia about all the money she's gotten over the past ten years.
She can go to hell if this is how she wants to play.
You are not a black sheep R1. Your mother is using you. She's taking advantage of you. Stop giving her money and letting her manipulate you. You are being way to nice to that woman.
She's not getting any more money.
She left six voice mail messages in the couple of days after we last spoke. I've listened to two of them and they were so hateful I refuse to listen to the other four. I won't delete them yet. She tried calling once later in the week, I won't speak to her. I'm ok with this going on forever if need be. I'm not close to her at all and this makes it much easier to keep my distance.
And what's more, you're you are being way too nice to that woman.
I think keeping your distance is best R5. She needs to start acting like a mother. Until then you are better off without her.
Me, which is why I have not had contact with a relative in 20 years.
There isn't one now, but after my grandmother & grandfather died, I learned that my grandfather had a younger brother named Paul. I was stunned. No one had EVER mentioned him to me, least of all my grandpa. I just assumed he was an only child.
I asked my father why? He said that Paul was always the black-sheep of the family, and somewhat of a mystery. My great-grandmother, a very severe woman (per my father's description), had always doted on my grandfather, the golden boy, and HATED Paul, for some reason. My grandfather had told my father that it was always that way. My father & aunt had met Paul a couple times as little kids, but then he just sorta faded away, and over the years, my grandfather stopped speaking about him entirely. Paul was a taboo subject.
Paul was apparently brilliant, earning a Ph D. in Latin from Fordham.....but who floated from job to job, beneath his intellect/education, and ended up working in the Poughkeepsie county recorder's office for many years. Paul never married, and never had any children (Irish-Catholic family). Hmmmm......that sent my lesbian mind wondering....and a picture started forming......
With benefit of hindsight, my father and aunt (now 86 & 79, respectively) both admit that they are pretty sure Uncle Paul was gay. It just explains SO MANY things -- why their grandmother always hated him; why their father let him drift away, and didn't want to talk about him; why Paul could never really quite get it together, professionally, and never married.