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I think my new primary care doc was overly critical of my sex life.

Moved from the city to Danbury CT a few months back for job reasons, so I dropped by NYC PCP and found one in Danbury. I had my first appt. for a physical with him this afternoon, and I think he went far and beyond the call in criticizing my sex life. I had an HIV test, which thankfully was neg. During the exam, I told him that I was gay. He asked how many sexual partners I had last year and what my sexual practices were. I was totally honest, telling him I had receptive anal sex with 18 different guys (yes, those I count!) and that I couldn't recall how many guys I had receptive oral with. Yes, yes, yes, out of those 18 anal encounters, I wasn't 100% safe in 2 of them. My bad for being drunk, stupid, and horny. I'm not proud of it, but it happens. He became very judgmental IMO and frankly told me that I need to be more discriminating in my sexual practice and not have so many partners. He didn't come right out and say it, but I'm sure he was thinking that I shouldn't be having anal sex at all. I half-jokingly told him that I've lived in NYC for the past 10 years and that most other gay men I know would find the number of partners on the conservative side. Again, half-jokingly I told him that hooking up is just part of gay culture in the city. He claimed to be shocked by that. He then essentially said that I've been really lucky this far not to catch an STD, but if I keep up my behavior, I'm bound to get one one of these days. No, he's not in NYC, but Danbury isn't exactly the capital of Sheltered Town USA. It's not some rinky dinky little town where there are no gay people. Plus, he's relatively young (mid-40s, I'd guess), so he couldn't possibly be THAT naive about what goes on between men in the city. Anyway, I found his line of questioning very invasive and critical, not to mention borderline homophobic. I mean, do you think he asks these types of questions to his straight male patients, who undoubtably are not celibate??? I am thinking of writing him an email telling him as much. I am definitely going to punch/delete him and find a new PCP covered under my insurance plan.


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