The thread where we try an summon David Ehrenstein

I want to hear his opinion on Jodie. Everyone go to their bathrooms, shut the lights and say, "I'm JIVE!" three times.

• Splash milky loads on your face. The scent will attract him instantly.

• Say 'why are straight me so stupid?'.

• Hmmmm... let's test if he's not really lurking by saying something guaranteed to get his attention and make him holler. "Lena Horne was a huge dyke and in the 40s dove eagerly into every available and willing muff on the entire MGM lot!"

• STOP IT!!!!! (covers ears and goes La-la-la-la)

• [quote]Hmmmm... let's test if he's not really lurking by saying something guaranteed to get his attention and make him holler. OK how about ... who the fuck is David Ehrenstein?

• Talk about Lena Horne's deep-seeded heterosexuality.

• Let's chant "Obama the Magic Negro"

• He has a blog and did a post on it, google it if you're dying to know what he said. It's a boring post where he mostly just prints what she said, and gives minimal commentary.

• Thanks r8 for pointing that out. If someone really wants to read David E's opinion on something, his blog is fairly easy to find. It's surprising his fans here haven't figured that out.

• Oops, it's "Barack the magic negro." Sorry.

• NOT a fan, but I would have been interested to know what he really thinks about her coming out. She had banned him from any of her press junkets. Since R8 figures his reaction is no big thing, I guess he's holding back. OTOH, maybe his response will be better if he has another Saturday night meltdown like the days of old.

• Oh how I miss the days of David E and Terri:) flame wars. Good times!

• Ethel to David Ehrenstein, Ethel to David Ehrenstein.

• Be careful about playing games like this. You could wind up summoning Kirker instead.

• Or even worse r14, edb.

• Oh, my Gawd! I just heard a floorboard creak! I think he's here!

• R16 - that's hilarious.

• Rambling diatribe on his blog

  http://fablog.ehrensteinland.com/2013/01/14/lonely-jodie/

• I'm been on DL long enough to remember David E's off-the-wall rants and the posters who deliberately provoked him to make him even crazier. Fun times.

• He was just so pompous and full of himself, you couldn't believe it.

• I laughed at those people quoting him to bolster the 'Jodie did it wrong! argument. Like he's some authority.

• HELLO DID SOMEONE CALL?!??!?!?

  LOVE%2C%20THE%20JANBOT

• [quote]I'm been on DL long enough to remember David E's off-the-wall rants and the posters who deliberately provoked him to make him even crazier. But the funny part is that he wouldn't just go after one person who was picking on him, he would explode and rant at every person who posts at DL. During the week, he would aim a reply at one poster, but on the weekend meltdown, he ripped into everyone.

• David! Look what happened to your washing machine.

• can someone catch the newbies up on who he is and what he'd say

• "She had banned him from any of her press junkets." This might be more believable if he had the credentials to be at a press junket.

• First of all r25, he posted with his real name and insisted everyone else must do so as well, or we were closet-cases. He was holier than thou about that and everything else.

• I really would like to hear from him as to why he was allowed on her press junkets and the details of it.

• [quote]I laughed at those people quoting him to bolster the 'Jodie did it wrong! argument. Like he's some authority. The same thing happened on the Matt Bomer and Matt Dallas coming out threads. "But Ehrenstein says they're not out!" You'd think the Ehrenstein stans would have adjusted to changing times by now, but no.

• I remember an Elaine Stritch thread where some of us really didn't know who she was and David ripped us all a new one, calling us horrible excuses for gay men and cultural illiterates because we were not familiar with her oeuvre. Some smartass posters then claimed they knew who Elaine Stritch was because she played Mrs. Garrett on Facts Of Life, and others countered that she played Roseanne's mother. It was obviously done just to set him off the rails, and it worked because David went in full meltdown mode typing in all caps and using obscenities in one crazy post after another, while the smartass posters kept chiming in to tell him he was wrong. I was laughing so hard I was crying.

  r19

• Changing times my ass - if Ehrenstein was right about one thing, it's that a celebrity isn't out as a celebrity until they actually come out.

• Oh shit.... R7 is accidentally going to summon WhiteBeltMan!

• Mama will be here in a half an hour at this rate.

• R5 He used to play Grady on the TV classic Sanford and Son.

• I will always love David if for no other reason than he is the first person to tell me about Datalounge. This was during Salon.com's Table Talk days.

• Has anyone checked the upscale restaurants in the Santa Monica area? David was known to haunt their parking lots and to frequently administer vicious face slappings.

• First, we create an altar of old Gordon's Gin boxes. Upon this altar we place: [bold]Two glowsticks Three tabs of E One unused script for "The Tom Green Show" A cassingle featuring "I Saw The Sign" by Ace of Base One ancient soiled pair of our bikini briefs - size 28[/bold] And using our loudest bleating voices we call upon David Ehrenstein as follows: [italic]Just like the one winged dove Sings a song, sounds like she's singing Oooh, baby, ooh said ooooooooh[/italic]

• [quote]I really would like to hear from him as to why he was allowed on her press junkets and the details of it. Me too. It must've been juicy if he was actually banned.

• He was never banned. It was a DL member making fun of him and his rabid hate for her so DL was trying to find a scenario to match it.

• He sort of turned me off of DL for a while. I just got sick of his gin-soaked rants and flame wars. My big sin was I mentioned that on an old PBS documentary, Armistead Maupin had said Paul Newman was gay. Jesus, DE nearly stroked out. He completely flipped out and called me a liar, among other things. I told him I didn't say it, to go rant at Maupin. He went off again, and denied Maupin had said such a terrible thing! I hadn't learned yet that it was senseless to reason with a crazy drunk. So I tracked down the name of the documentary and posted it. David demanded that I locate a copy of this old program and mail it to him!!! And one of his deranged fans (he had a few) agreed. I owed it to him. This went on and on. I finally told them both that I wasn't especially interested in Paul Newman or his sexuality and I couldn't care less whether or not DE believed me.

• Horror horror horror horror horror Horror horror horror horror

• This Ehrenstein fellow sounds dangerously unhinged.

  Judy "Pills" Garland

• I miss Miss Pills. RIP.

• He was already here recently, just as cunty as always....

• He also posts everyone some so much as scratches their ass over at Towleroad...

• Agree r40. I left DL for awhile because of him too. I was a lurker, never posted but I saw the way he would attack others. I seem to remember him going off on the thought of Paul Newman being gay. Found that very weird that he, of all people known for attacking gays, would be offended that someone would call Newman gay. lol at r22.

• [quote]calling us horrible excuses for gay men and cultural illiterates because we were not familiar with her oeuvre. Why would we be familiar with Elaine Stritch's reproductive parts?

• David WAS banned. Many times for posting landless links to his website in hopes of increasing his count. Lulu used to intentionally bait him. DE fell for it every time. What a fucking dumb ass.

• I think people are talking about Jodie banning him from the press conferences r48 - didn't happen. DL banning him, yes he was. He would be all over this place right now if he hadn't been.

• ^^ endless, not landless.

• He really did have inside information and he was generally right about everything, including Ms. Foster. All your bellyaching because he was more famous than you has a rancid stench of unwashed ass, all of you. If David E. did stoop to coming back here, we should welcome with festivities and praise, because he deserves it.

• Hi David.

• There was a book about Lena Horne that came out while she was still alive that alluded to two lesbian affairs she had, and one she probably had. This absolutely killed David. He left the Datalounge and went into hiding for a year.

  http://www.facebook.com/david.ehrenstein.5%3Ffref%3Dts

• The only "inside information" she ever had was how many men turned her down inside the baths.

• There's a DL newbie who idolized David and posts quotes from his one book. (It isn't David).

  How%20I%20miss%20the%20Fri%20night%20meltdowns...

• R43 I can remember finding Judy "Pills" amusing at times. Is she dead? (I recall Pills being chewed out by some posters for defiling the memory of Garland (!!??), who could have taught LiLo a thing or two about drug and alcohol abuse.) Look, R43, I found some of DE's posts interesting when he was lucid. I give him his due and agreed completely with his feelings about Foster. Those were unpopular sentiments at the time. Jodie had many fans here, largely lesbian, who bristled at any criticism of their goddess. Unfortunately, the periods of lucidity became fewer and fewer and the ugliness increased apace. It got to the point you dreaded seeing his name in a thread.

• [quote] Is she dead? Someone who knew her or knew of her said that she was.

• Wow R18, that blog post sounds so anti-Ehrenstein. What minimal commentary there is actually sounds human. Good for him if he's on meds now.

• Was he often referred to as David Urinestain?

  it%27s%20coming%20back%20to%20me...

• And also as David You'reinsane.

• If you look in the mirror and you say his name 5 times, he'll appear behind you breathing down your neck.

• Is/was he hot? What is his job? How did his name ever mean anything? Was he on Dynasty?

• If you all want to hear what I really think, follow the links to the paid corner of my blog, where I describe in excruciating detail the twenty-nine ways in which Jodie's (I call her Jodie because I know her and love her and she relies on me for truth because we have a connection) rambling (I have to be truthful), weird, lesbianically inchoate tirade looking like a million - no, TEN million four hundred thirty-nine bucks - I LOVED that dress, and know how much she would have paid for it but of course it was a freebie - and the food was terrible, I heard - I could have gone but I had to be at my mother's that night because the dogs have been sick - was actually all about me. Otherwise you just get the public stuff. But it's slick, right? Non-Gracie, I mean, of course.

  David%20Ehrenstein

• [quote]Was he on Dynasty? Yes, he had a long stint playing Dominique Devereaux, the most fabulous lounge chanteuse in all of Denver. He was, in a word, spectacular.

• David: Lena Horne was married to a fat white homo who let her fuck around with chicks on the side. How do you feel now?

• Remember the poster who went by "A Bigger Troll Than All The Others" or something similar to that? He was apparently "in the business" and would batter DE into submission on any number of show biz topics. Fun times.

• Only on Broadway, where Much Bigger Troll Than Anyone was an Insider Supreme.

• [quote]Changing times my ass - if Ehrenstein was right about one thing, it's that a celebrity isn't out as a celebrity until they actually come out. Not to be pedantic, r31, but he doesn't say they're not out until they come out. He says they're not out until they say the word "gay." By this standard, Matt Bomer, Frank Ocean, Matt Dallas, and Jodie Foster are still in the closet. That's ridiculous. But having said that, I miss the crazy fucker.

• Wasn't Much Bigger Troll rumored to be Bruce Vilanch?

• [quote] Yes, he had a long stint playing Dominique Devereaux, the most fabulous lounge chanteuse in all of Denver. He was, in a word, spectacular. R64, you made me sore from laughing! Here's David delivering a stunning rebuttal to one of his harshest critics.....

  http://youtu.be/qB7ywr2cNMM

• Instead of judas Iscariot and Pontius Pilate, there would be David Ehrenstein and Judy Pills Garland. Instead of Cain and Abel, it would be Kirker and Umpy.

• Whoops - meant to post in the If DL was the Bible thread. LOL

  R71

• David E was the OP of the infamous "Why are Straight Me So Stupid?" thread.

• DE weekend meltdowns were a regular DL feature. It was actually more fun to read the posts of those who baited him than to read his rabid frothing at the mouth replies.

• I actually miss some of the DL outliers. Umpy threads could be very funny. It was like having a conversation with a grown up Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons....

• I liked Umpy/Rumpy/Whatever. Far better than some of the many, many unknown mental patients who post here.

• Yes r73. I laugh just thinking about it.

• He actually admitted during a meltdown that Foster had him kicked out and banned. Since he was batshit nuts that night, maybe he made it up. In view of his insistance that everyone should be signing their posts with their full name, it's easy to imagine that he stood up during a question period and demanded that Foster come out of the closet immediately. Strange how he always tried to "in" Lena Horne and will never believe that Paul Newman ever had a dick in his mouth.

• Recent pic of David:

  http://www.photographyblog.com/gallery/data/3058/1233black_drag_queen_portrait.jpg

• David falling for the MC Sirus hoax and then getting mega-pissy about it when called out was one on the great Datalounge moments. Even better then his "Why are straight me so stupid?" thread.

• David Ehrenstein oughta be a judge on the RuPaul show.

• Have any of you friended him on Facebook? he's there in all his 'celebrity' glory.

• I had no idea this bitch had her own Wikipedia page and a profile she did ON HERSELF in LA Weekly...

  http://www.laweekly.com/2005-04-21/columns/david-ehrenstein-meet-david-ehrenstein/

• He's truly a legend in his own mind. Nice to see his writing is as clear and insightful as ever, R83.

• Indeed R84. I have whiplash from trying to follow the logic. Or the narrative. Or ANYTHING.

• That's not David at post 79. David is dark complexioned but he has no Negro features. He also has no ethnic speech patterns either. I met David at our fist and only DL meeting in WEHO and thought he was extremely normal and quite charming. That was 8 years ago, all the DL'ers were exceedingly pleasant, and the one female was absolutely beautiful.

• Did his book mention any gay celebs who were alive when he wrote the book? It seems he only wanted to discuss dead gays so that he would be safe from legal action.

• R86 = Biden?

• I smell lox and watermelon- he's here.

  Lena

• I remember someone once wrote how he kept putting his Lena Horne doll in the freezer because every time he came home he would find her in bed with Barbie... I don't know why I remember that after all these years.

• David Ehrenstein is friends with one of my Facebook friends. I had commented on my friend's post about something and he started attacking me. (I totally forget what it was about, but I have a feeling it was movie-related.) I was sort of like, "Who is this THING?" I Googled him and found out who he was, but I find him incredibly annoying (and quite ugly, actually).

• He's a cousin of one of my former co-workers.

• Are any of DE's meltdown's archived anywhere? I'd love to read one for fun.

• There was a "is Paul Newman gay or bi?" thread once (Newman was still alive at the time) and I innocently mentioned that Joanne Woodward looked exactly like a dykey English professor I had. David lost his shit and attacked me in several posts ranting about how stupid I was to think Joanne Woodward was a big dyke just because my English prof. looked like her. Just for fun, I pretended that I thought my prof. really was Joanne Woodward using a pseudonym. OMG, David took the bait and became completely unglued. Other posters and I had a howling good time that day, egging him on.

• [quote]Are any of DE's meltdown's archived anywhere? I'd love to read one for fun. I had one saved on a previous computer that I would go back to read for some good laughs.

• Paul Newman was one of David's pets, hence his idiotic reaction to the kind of thing R94 posted. I believe David wanted to make contact with Paul and Lena (they were both still alive) for something or another, and felt he had to be on the record attacking anyone who wrote they were not 100% heterosexual. Funny, judging by his posts, he knew very little about Lena other than pre-digested press releases of long ago and racial discrimination & victimization shit that liberals like David define themselves by.

• I'll try to get him banned and deleted for you guys.

  tig%20notaro%2C%20knowing%20the%20right%20peeps

• [quote]I believe David wanted to make contact with Paul and Lena (they were both still alive) for something or another, and felt he had to be on the record attacking anyone who wrote they were not 100% heterosexual. Somehow, celebs never wanted to deal with him. That's why his book was about dead people.

• R86, he has plenty of "negro" features. His may not have the ethnic voice patterns you expected, but his vocal mannerisms are distinctly gay.

  http://bonusround.com/book4-4/images/outfest06a.JPG

• Poor Bobo is constantly torn between being a water boy for the party that provides him with a paycheck and wanting to be seen as a groovy dude.

  Akbar

• Trust me, it's safer to say "Beetlejuice" three times fast.

  Ekaterina%20of%20Yuriatin

• The Ehrestein ghost needs resurrecting - again.

• As I said earlier, I met DE during Salon's Table Talk days. He also use to post on the World Crossing chat lines. Of course, most of these chats and threads were very respectful of people's postings. Well, except for that time I opined that bisexuality was more a transition than an actual sexuality. The closet cases went bananas. This was around 2000. And then DE linked us to here. The rest is history for me. I suggested DE refrain from posting while he was drinking. That could be one reason we don't hear from him these days.

• [quote]I suggested DE refrain from posting while he was drinking. But that's when he gets to be his most inventive. I liked the time he told someone that they weren't a good reporter and ended with "You're only a pencil!"

• I've read R64 a half dozen times and I still laugh my ass off every single time.

• At their best, his rants often had a sort of Ignatius Reilly/Peggy Gravel quality to them. I remember one where he was going off on, I think, closet cases, and he posted, "They deserve [bold]THE BACK OF MY HAND[/bold]!!!" R64, I always get tickled by whoever says he used to play Thelma on [italic]Good Times.[/italic]

• Just espied a comment from him in a Boy Culture blog post about one of the Hollywood Shows (see Washed-Up Celebrities thread). He began, "I just finished writing 'Masters of Cinema: Roman Polanski' for [italic]Cahiers du Cinéma[/italic] ..."

  Oh%2C%20mur-DER%21

• What r104 said. David was funniest drunk.

• Will you please stop it! I have never found the antics of deviants to be one bit amusing!

  Peggy%20Gravel

• I have met David on several occasions. The photo at r99 is what David looks like. He's a charming man. Very intelligent and articulate. He knows a lot about old Hollywood and freely shares it. That said, he is a hothead who blows up about small things, especially when it comes to stars being accused of being gay. He defends his position passionately, but won't listen to anything that conflicts with his view of things.

• Like a bad penny...

• [quote]He knows a lot about old Hollywood and freely shares it. But he doesn't know it first hand. If you read all the books on old Hollywood, people will claim you know a lot about old Hollywood, too.

• You know how bitchy Jewgroes can be..

  Sammy

• according to DE - Paul Newman not gay. It's now been disproved and not just by the Ora Lee poster that DE trashed.

• Start a thread that Paul Newman and Lena Horne once bumped into each other in Uncle Charlie's. He'll be right here (anonymous, of course) claiming that they're both straight and would never have gone to a gay bar.

• It's been documented that Lena frequented gay bars in NYC and near her house in LA in the 1940s. Of course, she was just there to entertain.

• [quote]That said, he is a hothead who blows up about small things, especially when it comes to stars being accused of being gay. Yeah, that can happen when your BAC never drops below .15 or so...

  R.%20Witherspoon