Sharing a bed or separate bedrooms?

Do you and your long-term partner share a bed? or have separate bedrooms? If separate bedrooms, was it separate from day one? Or how did it wind up separate. Or do you sleep in twin beds? If you don't sleep together in the same bed, when you fuck, do you return to your own bed after the deed is done? Discuss.

• Are you the same weirdo asking if we all use an extra bedroom to store clothes, or do we use our walk-in closets? Are you a Duchess of something or other? What's your damage?

• Maybe he/she/it is doing a magazine article about lifestyles and is posting all these polls for that. At any rate, it was his/hers/its $18 to spend, so what's your damage, R1?

• Will I share my menstrual hut? Will eggs and cheese contaminate the other food in my fridge? Must I share gluten-free pizza? My mason jar filled with warm tap water might confront future coworkers who are addicted to plastic. What shall I do?

• We slept together for the first 15 years. Then I started snoring.

• R1 You may not realize this, but removing that stick from your ass is now a simple, out-patient procedure.

• I agree with r1.

• The same bed, 41yrs. Several beds actually but we sleep together. We figure one of us will be sleeping alone soon enough.

• [quote] We figure one of us will be sleeping alone soon enough. R7 don't think that way.

• R1 don't like the thread, don't read it or post in it. It is that simple.

• r1 can post in it as he likes and when he likes, as anyone can.

• Together all twelve-and-counting years, despite my snoring. I do know a couple who sleep in twin beds, though, and find it really strange. Particularly since they also don't get along particularly well. I don't know why they don't just break up.

• My partner's snoring is ridiculous, so we have separate bedrooms. We tried (I tried) just dealing it with for about a year, but it just made me cranky and miserable and angry. I was tired at work. I was tired not at work. Worst, I became resentful of him. He balked at the idea of sleeping apart initially, but I told him that is was a serious issue and threatened the relationship. And it did; I really was at the end of my rope. Anyway, we slept in separate rooms, and eventually moved to a bigger place where we each very much have our own totally separate rooms (plus a guest room). As far as the impact on our sex life: it is much better now, and I am guessing at least 'above average' as far as frequency. Before, I always knew that 30 seconds after he came he would be asleep and shaking the walls, so it was nothing too exciting for me.

• R12, your partner sounds like an asshole. Why didnt he just stop snoring?

• I'm a super light sleeper, so I have to be alone in bed. Otherwise I wake up every single time my partner rolls over, flinches, gets up to pee, etc. I actually got dumped over this. The guy said he couldn't date someone who he couldn't sleep with at night. It doesn't make sense to me, personally...I mean you're unconscious when you're asleep so what's it matter if someone is beside you? But whatever. That's history. From now on I make sure guys know ahead of time what the sleeping situation will be.

  Single

• So R14 what happens when you are in a serious relationship. No sleeping over?

• Separate bedrooms most of the time. I need a tv going to help me get to sleep/stay asleep (especially if I'm under any stress at work), while my partner needs quiet. We'll sleep in the same bed on vacation or if we have company. Often one of us will crawl into bed with the other in either the evening or the morning for a while. It works just fine for us after 21+ years together.

• our arrangement is pretty much the same as yours, r16.

• [quote]So [R14] what happens when you are in a serious relationship. No sleeping over? No, we just have separate bedrooms. Simple.

• So for guys who have separate bedrooms, after fucking you just retreat to your respective rooms?

• R19, we're more into morning/daytime sex, and we always have been. So there's no 'retreating.'

  R16

• "Why didnt he just stop snoring?" R13, why don't you just stop breathing?

• I didn't know anyone slept apart from their partner.

• We each have our own room for keeping our stuff, two dressers and a closet each, but we always sleep together in the same bed. Unless one of us is really, really sick.

• R19, I bet the bottom is the one who retreats

• We resisted for a long time, but neither of us was getting restorative sleep when sharing a bed. I snore, he gets up at 5 AM, he has to have the room pitch-dark and silent, I need some white noise, I like using flannel sheets which he hates, etc. I moved into the guest room during some illness, and it was SO MUCH BETTER in terms of sleep. We were sort of reluctant to admit it to each other, but being sleep-deprived and cranky is no way to go through life. Our sex life isn't limited to night-time anyway, so that's worked out fine too. We sleep in separate beds in hotels, and any rare overnight guests get an Aerobed in the office.

• Sleeping in separate beds = dealbreaker. Might as well have a roommate.

• R26, if you think that sleeping in the same bed all night is what differentiates a roommate from a life partner, I feel sorry for you.

• If you find it difficult to sleep together, and snoring is not an issue. Why not twin beds?

• I've been with my partner for over 16 years, and we both find we have the opposite problem from some of the earlier posters here: we can't sleep well any more when the other one isn't there in the same bed. I guess it's just a habituation issue, but it's a fact.

• I like a warm bedroom, he likes it cold. I like quiet, he likes some sound. I like the dark, he likes to sleep with the bathroom light shining into the room. I'm a very deep sleeper, he's a light sleeper. I don't move much, he moves around a lot. I take some time to wake up, he's instantly awake. I like for my bedroom to be tidy and uncluttered, he tosses his socks and underwear in the general direction of the hamper and only gets around to picking them up when it's time to do laundry. For all of these reasons, separate bedrooms have worked for us.

• [quote]If you find it difficult to sleep together, and snoring is not an issue. Why not twin beds? Because when it's time to "rendezvous" most of us like a little more room to maneuver!

• No adult sleeps in a twin bed, unless they're in a college dorm, Army barracks or a homeless shelter. Who are you people?

• My partner and I are like r29: we both fall asleep better now if the other is there. I treasure curling up against him every night, it's one of my favorite parts of our relationship. It was certainly an adjustment when he moved in 5 years ago. It took some time to adjust to sleeping together every night and the first few months had lots of bad nights of sleep for both of us, but we stuck with it and the reward has been huge. Having a king size bed definitely helps. I don't judge anyone else's arrangement though, one of our best couple friends have separate bedrooms because of snoring issues and it works for them.

• We have totally opposite sleep habits, but are otherwise compatable. For our own sanity, we sleep in separate rooms. All other needs are more than adequately addressed.

• I prefer not being dutch-ovened by anyone other than myself.

• Ex used to have twin beds... that's one of the reasons the bastard is now an ex...

• How does even an average-sized adult sleep in a twin bed?

• FUCK YOU R40 WHORE WHO'RE WHORE WHORE WHORE WHORE WHORE FUCK YOOOOOU

• Shit. Not just the wrong thread but wrong board.

  r38