Let's cast Airport 2013: the Dreamliner

Jessica Chastain as the Stewardess, Quvenzhane Wallis as the little girl in need of a kidney, Jennifer Hudson as her mother/the Helen Reddy singing nun role, Mark Consuelos as the Eric Estrada navigator with two lines AnnE Hathaway in the Gloria Swanson role as the movie star who just sits there and talks about herself.

• Captain the sink is clogged again with anal hair

• You can't have an airplane disaster movie without Jodie Foster.

• Yes...r2....Jodie could play the Charleton Heston role and then get offended if any when asks if she is lesbianic like her character...."climb baby climb!"

• "I can't fly this Dreamliner alone! I can't! I CAN'T!!!"

  Jessica%20Chastain%2C%20rehearsing

• Viggo Mortensen as the Neo Nazi terrorist

• Paz de la Huerta, as an international prostitute with a heart of gold.

• Betty White as the passenger who speaks jive.

• JAMES HOLMES AS PRESIDENT OBSMA

• Zack Efron as the movie star's secretary, ready to take dictation as she relates her memoirs.

• Don't be ridiculous, r8. The President is not one of the characters.

  Ross%20Hunter

• B.D. Wong as the Dreamliner's in-flight psychologist

• Jane Lynch as the singing nun with an acoustic guitar.

• Beyonce as stewadress Nancy Pryor. "There ain't nobody left to fly the plane, yo. Y'all betta help me out right now 'cause this shit's about to get REAL!"

• Karen Black in a cameo as the cross-eyed old lady who yearns for the by-gone days when airline stewardesses had a little bit of glamor about them.

• Jeremy Renner as the stoic flight attendant with a classified past and a broken heart

• Lena Dunham as the ocean floor.

• Lindsay Lohan as a gremlin on the wing of the plane.

• R17, I'm bored! I'M SO BORED!

• Dame Judi Dench as the cute little old lady who is really a pickpocket.

• Dame Maggie Smith as the tart little old lady who is really a detective.

• Bill Paxton gets the "We're all gonna die" line.

• Samuel Jackson could play Kareem's role

• No one could do it better R21!

• Amanda seyfried as the junior stewardess on her very first flight who Jessica chastain has to alternately coddle and bully. The terrorists will take her hostage at one point and she ends up falling in love with a rich elderly passenger played by Michael douglas, after her cheers her up by doing magic tricks with abag of peanuts and a barf bag

• Amanda Seyfried in the Christopher Norris role!!! Love it! r24!!!

• Gabourey Sidibe as the Dreamliner.

• And with Berenice Bejo as the sexy French stewardess Isabelle (aka the Sylvia Kristel role). ISABELLE/BERENICE BEJO: "You pilots are such... [italic]men![/italic]" CAPT. JOSEPHINE PATRONI/JODIE FOSTER: "Hey, they don't call it a [italic]cock[/italic]pit for nothing, honey!"

• Sarah Jessica Parker providing the glue that keeps the dreamliner together.

• R22 No, Samuel L. Jackson as a snake smuggler. Gabby Sidibe as the passenger who bitches about having to buy two seats. Cloris Leachman as a grandmotherly terrorist who talked her way past airport security with explosives in her diaper lining. Abe Vigoda as her unsuspecting husband.

• Lisa Whelchel as the passenger who brings several bags from Whataburger aboard and proceeds to offend everyone around her by eating them loudly. James Franco as the sensitive flight attendant who's exploring his sexuality in the lavatory with the passenger in 28A, played by Tobey Maguire.

• Jean Dujardin as the French gigolo traveling with retired musical theater star Helen Lawson.

• CHRISTIAN BALE AS THE TOILET.

• Jamie Foxx as the flight engineer who bites the dust on the very first explosion, which occurs in the first 10 minutes of the movie.

  Black dude always gets killed

• And with the tired mention of Helen Lawson, the whole thread grinds to a halt.

• Viola Davis as the maid who finds the bomber's plans at home and spends the movie rushing by bus to the airport and then weeps when it is too late.....(a la Maureen Stapleton)

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• Harvey Fierstein as a Jewish mother. Wendy Williams as a passenger who refuses to shut down her cell phone. Jason Alexander as a lovable loser who mistakenly goes to the wrong airport and can't carry out his hijackiing as planned.

• Sienna Miller as the stewardess who annoyunces she's pregnant in act 1, by married pilot Ben Affleck.

• Marion Cotillard as the stewardess who's having the affair with the pilot (though she really loves him). Meg Ryan as the once glamourous but now frumpy wife trying to hold to youth for dear life (as her competition holds to plane debris for the same reason). She kinda knows what her husband is up to but chooses to ignore it so she can remain the proper Mrs. Airplane Pilot.

  A trembling, then drowning, Ava Gardner

• Meryl Streep as sextuplets, separated at birth and raised in different countries.

• Katy Perry as the groovy pop star in first class. She will be asked to write, record, and release the movie's original theme song which will kill at the Oscars. The Singing Nun will have a cover version, which will get plenty of airplay (no pun intended) as well.

  The Bee Gees and Tavares

• omg r39...that sounds wonderful...lets make one of them a singer so I could do a number a la Carol Lynley.

  M

• Ellen and Rosie as a pair of lesbians headed to their first Michfest event.

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• Bjork as a reporter getting punched in the face by Justin Bieber.

• Jodie Foster as the mysterious woman in a hat and veil.

• Matt Lauer and Ann Curry play themselves. Matt is unknowingly seated directly in front of Ann, who is suffering from a terrible head cold. She sneezes her way through the flight with Matt ultimately going insane running naked through the cabin.

• The little girl from "The New Normal" and the younger son from "The Middle" play overly precocious seatmates who yammer at each other non-stop until the passengers in the surrounding rows duct-tape their mouths shut and stuff them in an overhead bin.

• Ewan McGregor plays the co-pilot who invites a cute young boy, played by Jaden Smith, to the cockpit to "see how we fly one of these things."

• CHRIS BURKE AS PILOT

• Glen Close as a senile great-grandmother who hasn't made any kind of response in 10 years until she starts pointing at the terrorists and saying they are going to blow up the plane. Of course noone believes her but her great grandson Zac Efron who notices one of the terrorists giving him the eye. So he seduces him hoping to get to the truth. Instead Zac becomes the first victim.

• Liza Minnelli as the drunk passenger who keeps hitting on all of the gay flight attendants.

• Florence Marly as ?

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• Sean Hayes and Jack McBrayer as flight attendants.

• Maureen McGovern sings "I Dreamed a Dream Before The Morning After" Love Theme from Airport 2013: The Dreamliner!

  http://images.bwwstatic.com/upload/27745/tn-500_41.jpg

• Gosh but we're good :)

• Ben Affleck is the Senator who has to get back to DC in time to cast the all-important vote in favor of the Aid to Working Families Act.

• Faye Dunaway as the down on her luck film diva who has to fly coach but is demanding a free upgrade.

• Betty White as the drunk, doddering passenger who keeps asking how she can get to the upper deck lounge.

• Paz de la Huerta in the Lee Grant role as drunk widow Karen Wallace.

• Megan Mullally as Karen Walker as the Skybar cocktail hostess.

• [quote]Karen Walker as the Skybar cocktail hostess. "We're losing altitude and we're all gonna die!!" "Ha ha HA HA! Aaaaah, Smitty! You always know how to cheer up a girl who's feeling down..."

• Matt Bomer as the nervous accountant who warned everybody that the batteries were dangerous, but nobody would listen.

• Abe Vigoda plays the horny old guy with one wish before he dies: join the mile high club - and works the aisle to fulfill his dream.

• Mira Sorvino as the quirky, kooky, somewhat loose girl who fulfills Abe's dream

  Stella Stevens

• John Goodman plays the arrogant chamber of commerce man who silenced all concerns about the aircraft in order to promote tourism in the town.

• Lindsay Lohan as the FA with a secret.

• Meryl Streep as the ... woman who is told she has to purchase two seats.

  Glenn

• Angelina Jolie as the drunk married to Ian McKellan but having an affair with Zac Efron. When the Dreamliner sinks to the bottom of the Bermuda Triangle and she witnesses McKellan's death, Jolie gets trashed and tries to open the exit door, thus drowning herself and everybody else; she's punched out by FA Mo'Nique, who's having an affair with Captain Leonardo DiCaprio.

• Matt Damon as the tail.

• Debra Messing as Ida Wilma Morganstern-a kvetcher who ends up having a romance with co-pilot Jeremy Hollander (James Franco).

• I so wish Hollywood would make this movie. I'd be first in line.

• Gabourey Sidibe as the stewardess.

• Dev Patel as the baggage handler, who leaves half the luggage on the tarmac. Don Cheadle as the transgendered traveller from Central Africa, carrying a burgeoning infection of Ebola.

• And George Kennedy as Petroni.

• Freida Pinto as the harried Bangalore call center employee who works at the outsourced airline customer service operation.

• Excuse me, I don't mean to intrude, but could you move your ass, dear?

  Lee Grant as Karen Wallace (Airport '77)

• Ok, which one of you queens made this video?

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilNekxCKwuQ

• Dev Patel as the computer geek who ends up saving everybody's asses. Kellan Lutz as a surfer boy who wears a tank top and flip flops.

• And All MALE cast would be ideal.

• And Charlotte Rae as Mrs. Edna Garrett

• Blake Lively making matters worse by mumbling when calling for help through the ship's communication device. Ke$ha as patient zero. You knew she was sick and trouble the moment she entered the ship, but did anybody listen? No! Viola Davis trying to overcome her fear of water by taking that cruise. Meryl Streep as the woman who slaps her and screams 'Snap Out of it!' when Viola has a panic attack. Victor Garber as wealthy but lonely man who has hired Evan Peters to be his escort on the trip. But the simple minded Evan falls in love with the ship's entertainment act, Ke$ha. Victor has to make the difficult decision whether to cut off all contact with Evan or risk infection with whatever disease Ke$ha carries.

• Miss Diane Ross as the huffy, has been diva who storms out of the plane after having a hissy fit because the airline won't give her a free upgrade to first class even though she bought economy.

• When did this become The Poseidon Adventure or Speed II, r80? Do you even know what the Dreamliner is? OP's use of the Airport franchise movies should be a hint.

• Christina Ricci (naturally!) as the world-weary stewardess (yes, I said it) witha heart of gold who tries to snatch the briefcase bomb away from narco-terrorist Javier Bardem but ends up with a faceful of aluminum shards for her heroic efforts. She spends the rest of the movie writhing in pain with a clump of torn pillowcases wrapped around her bloody pulp of a face, coddled in the arms of co-pilot Harry Connick, Jr.

• Sally Field is The Flying Nun

• Glenn Close as Gloria Swanson

• Kate Bosworth as Jean Seberg