Frau chooses not to abort severely mentally and physically disabled baby after seeing him "smile" in ultrasound

Was told baby would never walk and talk and would need 24-hour-care. Mom went through with birth, but baby died hours later. What would you do?

http%3A//www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2262242/Mother-took-heartbreaking-decision-severely-disabled-baby-aborted-seeing-smile-3D-scan-picture.html%3FICO%3Dmost_read_module



• Sterilize the stupid bitch so she would never be able to breed again.

• Bring me the knitting needle.

• Very personal decision. Good for her. I would have aborted at the jump.

• Not judge her?

• So the story still had a happy ending? She'll be pregnant againt next month and the next one will have problems yet still live. Why do women insist on having babies, even though they can't afford them and don't have a clue how to be good parents? A women who would give birth to a deformed baby, does not understand what love is.

• "A women who would give birth to a deformed baby," [bold]because she thinks it's "smiling" --in her fucking womb--[/bold] should have been a crib death.

• Glad you're in control about what love is, R5. Of course you'd be *horrified* if someone else tried to judge who you should love.

• What part of 'pro-CHOICE' do you people not understand?

• [quote]A women who would give birth to a deformed baby, does not understand what love is. What a hateful thing to say.

• and yet possibly true

• "A women who would give birth to a deformed baby," I wouldn't call it unloving, I'd call it supremely selfish. Her desire to birth a baby, no matter what the poor thing has to endure (and then die), is more important to her than wellfare of said baby.

• R7 - what an idiotic thing to say. The title of this article should be "Woman Seeks Meaning in the Deformity of Others". It's selfish to knowingly bring a baby so badly deformed to full term. What if the kid lived? What quality of life would it have? How much money and resources would it take to keep it going - only to have it be a ward of the state when the parents die? I know pregnancy fills you full of hormones, but this is not something we should be applauding.

• Frau bait thread.

• I'm pro choice. It's a woman's choice, not mine. Not yours. Not anybody's. If I was a pregnant woman and a doctor told me r's1, 2, 5 or 12 would be my baby, I'd have them aborted in second. But I'd never abort a disabled child. That's Hitler territory. And disabled people aren't as cruel and unfeeling as some Datalounge liberals can be.

• I wanna see a pic of her baby after he was born. Was his head all stove in because his didn't have a brain to hold it up?

• This is why I hate them - totally fucking insane breeders do whatever they want, it doesn't matter whose life they mangle.

• R14 - get off your high horse. The child was not just disabled - no one is saying that all disabled children should be aborted you idiot. Didn't take you long to make the Hitler connection, did it? The child needed 24 hour care and would never walk, talk or be much else than a vegetable. How cruel and unfeeling can you be when you can't even communicate?

• r8 is correct. If you're pro-choice, that means abiding by a woman's decision without judging her. As with most so-called "moral" issues, there is no right or wrong here. What a difficult decision to have to make. And no, I'm not a "frau," but a gay man who respects a woman's right to abort...as well as to keep her baby.

• r17, it's NOT YOUR FUCKING CHOICE. You get off your damned high horse and stop telling people what to do with their own bodies. You're no better than an insane pro-lifer. How can you come after me when r1 says "Sterilize the stupid bitch so she would never be able to breed again." This is how liberals get in hot water with the rightwing, by absurd comments like that. Basically, r17, MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.

• Keeping flaunting that hypocrisy, R12. Completely predictable.

• Take your meds R19. She's the one smiling in the paper - she didn't have to have the article in the press, so she made it public domain - for which I'm entitled to express my opinion. I agree R1's response was awful - but almost every R1 in most threads is some idiotic nasty comment. I think there's a couple of trolls who get off on it. I still say it was a selfish act - people have to think long term about having children.

• And I still say mind your own fucking business, you gayfrau.

• She's minding her own business? By accepting cash to sell her story to some tacky British tabloid? Lord, the comments section has just been enlightening, for lack of a better word.

• How about the frau at R22 mind her own business, Starting by getting off a board for GAY people! What an idiot. Butting into a conversation that has nothing to do with her only to tell people not to comment on things that don't have to do with them.

• I don't think being pro-choice means we shut off our ethical compass when it comes to reproductive decisions. I'm against women using repeated abortions as a form of birth control. I judge that behavior without in any way believing that abortions should be outlawed or that the woman using it for birth control or any other reason should be criminalized. I judge those horrid women who use fertility doctors to get an entire litter of babies in the womb but then it's suddenly "up to god" what defects those babies are born with, the mother won't abort any of them and ignores the doctor's advice to abort selectively. I fail to see the virtue in pretending we don't have thoughts, feelings and judgments about these situations and the people in them. It doesn't make us anti-choice, it makes us normal human beings.

• Joke's on you, r24. I'm gay, 33 years old, and have been on DL since Helen Lawson threads were actually funny. But I'm pro-choice and realize pro-choice means letting people make their own choices and not butting in. You're more of a frau than I am because you wag your finger and TELL people what to do with their bodies. Abort the 'tard! Abort the handicapped! Strengthen the gene pool! Someday doctors may be able to detect homosexuality in unborn children, and then what? What would you say to a woman who wants to abort her future gay child?

• [quote]You're more of a frau than I am because you wag your finger and TELL people what to do with their bodies. Abort the 'tard! Abort the handicapped! Strengthen the gene pool! That baby wasn't retarded, he was anencephalic. He didn't have a brain. Just for the record, I'm not judging the woman for the decisions that she made.

  The Voice of the Night

• R26, you're an idiot. I never judged the woman for keeping the baby or even commented on that. I called you out because you were calling posters on here "gayfraus" which sounded like the previous poster who was complaining about gay liberals on this board. And you're comparing someone being gay to someone who needs to be taken care of 24/7? Like I said, you're an idiot.

• [quote] That baby wasn't retarded, he was anencephalic. He didn't have a brain. And yet it smiled and played -- inside its mother's womb!

• The baby had all of the traits of the typical DL poster. We lost a good one.

• Why is it you don't care if a woman murders her unborn baby, but then try to prevent a man from owning a gun? Those babies ARE ALIVE, you know. You can say they are not, but they are. You AIDS infested homos, don't care about life.

• Well, we can at least all agree that we wish R31's mother had made a different choice.

• I would F&F r31, but it was only a matter of time until a Freeper read the comments on this thread from (i.e. the ever so eloquent r1) and chimed in.

• You can't force people to have abortions, OP. That would be as horrible as forcing them NOT to have abortions. The whole point of pro-choice is that the mother gets to decide.

• R7, if you knew anything about real love, you would KNOW when to abort a baby. Sometimes the thing to do is hard and sad but it is an act of love.

• [quote] And you're comparing someone being gay to someone who needs to be taken care of 24/7? Like I said, you're an idiot. I'm an idiot? Look at r31. Those are the kind of people who would abort a baby for having a gay gene in a heartbeat. Look beyond your own view.

• Every day when I go out in public, I realize that there aren't nearly ENOUGH abortions.

• You don't get to decide for everyone, r35. Stop pretending you do or you should.

• R35 if you knew anything about love, you would know that you have no right to define what love is or means to anyone.

  R7

• r35, that would be r7's choice to make though. Not yours. And you really have no right to decide for anyone else.

• Abortion was offered to her as an alternative at 24 weeks when doctors became aware of the extent of the fetus' abnormalities. It would have been a partial birth abortion. The horror stories about partial birth abortion probably factored into her decision.

• Whatever you do, do NOT look at the pictures of an anencephalic baby. *shudders*

• Anencephalic baby. You've been warned.

  http://www.nypost.com/rw/nypost/2012/12/13/pagesix/web_photos/leonardo_dicaprio--300x300.jpg

• Whatever I would do would certainly not be contingent on seeing the fetus "smile" in an ultrasound. That is just stupid.

• Aborting a severely disabled baby or bringing it to terms are both horrifying solutions in my eyes. I do not envy that woman for having to make any decision at all. Knowing for months and months that the baby growing inside you will most likely not survive the moment it leaves your womb must be pure torture. It would make me most certainly crazy.

• Another one

  http://cdn04.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/headlines/2012/10/drake-graduates-high-school-at-25.jpg

• Why would you want to look at that?

• Very nice r19. You are a 'klass' act.

• Death panels! Told ya!

  Sarah%20P.

• What r4 said. It's no one's decision but hers.

• [quote]Whatever you do, do NOT look at the pictures of an anencephalic baby. *shudders* Sorry. I should have warned about that.

  The Voice of the Night

• What would I do? Get me... the knitting needle!

  Patsy%20Stone

• What other posters have said - Pro-choice means it's HER choice, and nobody else's. Did they opt to donate the baby's organs? If so, that would give other babies a chance to live...

• [quote]baby died hours later... What would you do? I would throw it out if it died. What would anyone do? But one has to wonder why, if she wasn't going to abort, regardless of the results of the ultrasound, she bothered to HAVE the ultrasound.

• If it was born, you either cremate or bury it...the hospital won't pay for burial.

• "But one has to wonder why, if she wasn't going to abort, regardless of the results of the ultrasound, she bothered to HAVE the ultrasound." Really, I mean she was prolly all fat and bloated, why did she even bother to get dressed, go out, be happy she was knocked up? If she was going to keep it anyway, why'd she bother going to the doctor in the first place, why not shack up in her house with a belt and hot water for her delivery? Women get ultrasounds, dick.

• I think it's incredibly cruel and selfish to bring a child to term when you know its life will be short and full of struggle and pain.

• "What would you do?" Start a mommie blog documenting every tragic step along the way (I Think He Winked Therefore I Ate Ham), with a PayPal link so I can generate an income allowing me to stay at home with the little Vegetable while also working on my new start-up business: jewelry for busy moms like me.

• [quote]She's minding her own business? By accepting cash to sell her story to some tacky British tabloid? So true, she saw dollar signs. She knows gifts will come in if she can keep this story going. There is no other reason to run to the media. What a craven witch.

• R57 - It's not just that. They knew the child would need 24hour care. I assume this would be very costly to NHS and the British taxpayers - surely some of the expenses would have to be picked up in some way. I have no problem with the right to choose. However, there are other considerations. This was just selfish.

• R56, if one knows that one is not going to abort, regardless of the results, it is just foolish to get an ultrasound. Not as stupid as it would be to get amniocentesis under those circumstances, since there is a risk to the test itself with amnio, but foolish to waste the time and money for the test if the results will have no impact.

• Before you start throwing too much shade on the woman, bear in mind that having one anencephalic pregnancy makes it much more likely that she'll have another.

  The Voice of the Night

• She did not know she was going to abort or not when she got the ultrasound--she did not make up her mind until she saw the fetus "smile."

• "she did not make up her mind until she saw the fetus 'smile.'" I'm sorry, but if I was told my baby would have all those challenges, I'd be aborting it--unless it started doing a dance routine while singing Gershwin's, "I'd Rather Charleston".

• Like this guy, R64?

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Michigan_J_Frog.svg

• Lol! R64.

• Obviously mama carries some defective genes herself.

• Her body, her choice. Maybe not a wise one... but stil...

• Might not have been a smile. Might have been gas.

• Read the article, R54. They did an ultrasound at three months that showed no sign of problems. The next ultrasound at 20 weeks was when they realized the fetus had problems. After further testing, the doctors told the 24 week pregnant mother the extent of the fetus' defects.

• But, R70, why do ANY of the testing if she was not going to terminate the pregnancy regardless of the results?

• [quote]Before you start throwing too much shade on the woman, bear in mind that having one anencephalic pregnancy makes it much more likely that she'll have another. There is only a slightly higher chance that she will have another with a neural tube defect. I believe it is a 3% chance, with the general population having a .1% chance. She needs to start taking folic acid before she conceives again. Folic acid has been shown to greatly reduce neural tube defects.

  Ciaran

• "No one wants an abortion as she wants an ice-cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal, caught in a trap, wants to gnaw off its own leg. Abortion is a tragic attempt to escape a desperate situation by an act of violence and self-loss."---Frederica Mathewes-Green, author and former leader of Feminists for Life