So I am thinking about trying stand-up comedy, and I will use some of the wit on this board for material...

Is that OK?

• OK, but you might have to explain to the heteros in the audience what a mussy is.

• OK. We'll heckle.

• Look to the left for wit, OP.

• No problem, hun, just mention where you got your material.

• BOOO! When's the show starting? This place sucks. YOU SUCK!

• Don't do it, pussycat!

  Sophia

• The wit on this board should get you about 90 seconds into your act. What will you do the rest of the time?

• If someone heckles you, you can point at him and shout, "Freaks and Flames!"

• And then the other big inconsistency about the Golden Girls is... ... and then the frau says, "The Aristocrats!"

• "We are not amused."

  HRH%20Queen%20Victoria

• Why?

• Good luck, Ms. Keller.

• i personally want to be cited for my work.

• Isn't that how Rosie O'Donnell started?

• There's a lot of good "stuff" on DL for a stanup comic. You could do a heck of a lot worse and spend a lot of money too. Many of us think in terms of a comedy writer, but unfortunately there are so many bitter shrill dumb gays and straights that are too dour to appreciate most of the humor. Good luck.

• Will your stage name be Slim Pickins, OP?

• Wait. Before we started handing over the 'A' material to you, why don't you show us if you got the skill. How's your stage presence, delivery, your voice? Link to your audition please.

• Be sure to ask if anyone's name is Cheryl. If someone says yes, point at them and say, "Your pussy stinks!"