Why do you prefer to be a bottom?

I don't! The anus is not a sex organ and it is dangerous and unhealthy to use it as a sex organ. I can't do anything about the fact that I am homosexual, but I don't have to submit to outrageous abuse of my body.

R1 = Ladybird Bachmann, overcome by guilt after getting plowed at a highway rest stop.

R1, do tell, the mouth is not a sex organ either, but I'm guessing you submit it to 'outrageous abuse' regularly, right?

Yes, R3, but it doesn't hurt like hell to get fucked in the mouth. And you can't get hemmorhoids, fisures or tears there either.

I love submitting to the stronger guy and feeling like I'm being forced.

[quote] And you can't get hemmorhoids, fisures or tears there either.

I've never gotten any of those, I wonder why

I don't. I prefer cock on cock and sounding. Replicating heterosexual fucking is a major turn off.

Frotting is pretty hot. It's also totally safe, and feels great.

I´m too hot to frot!

I got herpes from frottage.

You can get herpes from frottage? I know a lesbian who lives for clit-on-clit action.

Why? Because it feels good to have something shoved up my butt, esp. if it is attached to a hunky man.

Got to tell you r4, a lot of guys don't think it hurts like hell in the ass either.

after a couple times it actually feels really good

I'm 42 and have never tried. I don't really intend to either. Not that there's anything wrong with others doing it. I've just never wanted to participate. I wouldn't want to put the guys I've dated (only 4) in that "position" psychologically, and by extension I don't really want to be put in that position either. I just feel that there are other ways. Whatever floats your boat tho.

[quote]and sounding

Shudders

What "position" psychologically?!

It feels really good. Only the first time hurt. After that, it was all pleasure. It has to be done right, and by that I mean lube and being careful getting it in, but once it's in, it just feels amazing. I always get off while getting fucked.

As to why I prefer it, I don't know. It's something I always fantasized about. I tried topping but it did not feel natural to me. Total bottom here and I always match up best with total tops.

It's called a prostate orgasm and it's amazing.

I rarely bottom, but once I had a handsfree orgasm. Shocked the hell out of me.

Because it feels GREAT.

If God hadn't meant for men to fuck other men, he would have put our prostates on our earlobes.

If the anus was meant to be a sex organ, why doesn't it self-lubricate?

thick uncut cocks make it sing

If I sleep on the top bunk, sometimes I fall out.

R21 - plenty of women need to use lubricant during sex. And plenty of straight people have anal sex also.

R15 here. Listen, I'm cool with whatever other people want to do. I'm just whacked out by those psycho-sexual roles, such as top and bottom, that's all. For me--and note that I'm saying for me, not for others--I don't want to be put into a feminine role, and I don't want to put someone I'm having sex with in that role either. I was married for 8 years. If I want to fuck someone, I'll go find a woman. I just feel as if there are others, equally fulfilling ways to have sex.

Gay men clean out their colons before sex or they call it being "dirty." Is this why gay people tend to have spontaneous sex a lot?

"If God hadn't meant for men to fuck other men, he would have put our prostates on our earlobes."

I'm a gay guy who's never had anal sex and have no desire to. Just because it's pleasureable doesn't mean it's healthy for you. You increase your risk for contracting HIV and other STDs and for developing rectal cancer. Smoking is pleasureable to many, but that doesn't make it a healthy activity. I love pizza and I'd be in ectasy if I could eat it everyday. But I know that would not be condusive to good health. Think about it.

[quote]whacked out by those psycho-sexual roles

You sound boring, possibly nice, but boring

R27 - you sound like a blast! You couldn't have anal sex anyway - that big stick would get in the way.

Seriously - loosen up. Take the stick out once and awhile.

I love to bottom because daddy tells me I need to

It just feels so good

My self-lubricating manhole is dripping with desire!

holes do lubricate, but only after a lot of stimulation.

I came the other day from using a toy, i can't recommend it enough.

Anal sex always results in rectal prolapse.

Hey R28, R15 here again. Yeah, I probably am boring to a lot of people. I consider myself a more of an academic than anything, which is an accurate assessment since I'm what's commonly referred to as a mud-fud. I have an MD Ph.D. in microbiology and I'm a research physician, which is about as exciting as, well, watching cancer cells grow. And yes, bully for you, my friend, you're right again: My entire life people have been saying to me, "You're the nicest person I know." I generally reply with my standard nice guy line, "Thanks, but I'd hate to meet the rest of your friends," so as not to get too embarrassed. Yet in spite of all my boringness, I am two, no, three things you might actually find somewhat interesting. First, I'm rich as shit and that's no lie. In addition to research I also happen to practice pediatric oncology which is quite lucrative. Secondly, I'm pretty hot, R28, and that's no lie either. Now, to be truthful, I'm not Hugh Jackman or Henry Cavill hot, but on the Hot Scale, I'd say I'm knocking on Bradley Coooper's door. Now, he may not be answering, but I'm close to being as decent looking as he is. In fact, I think my smile is a lot better than his, actually. So you know, if I wanted to thrust someone into the more feminine of those ol' psycho-sexual roles, I sure bet I could find a willing participant. Especially since my third attribute is . . . nah, I'm too much of a nice guy to talk about such things. You have a good day, R28.

I've always wanted to write one like that after getting regally pissed off on DL. Never could manage it. Dang that was good.

Newsflash: r1.

There are women and heterosexual men who like to receive anal penetration.

The sex act does not define sexual orientation, only the gender of whom you prefer to do it with does.

[quote]For me--and note that I'm saying for me, not for others--I don't want to be put into a feminine role, and I don't want to put someone I'm having sex with in that role either.

Huh. I love fucking a masculine guy. And when in that situation I don't find him to be "female" at all. Fortunately I'm now married to a sexy bearded hunk who fits my needs just right.

I really got a kick out of reading r35. He is why I come to DL, him and the other remarkable posters. Rock on, r35.

I top, but exchanging body fluids is too intimate an act to do with just anyone. I can be totally satisfied with mutual j/o. I know this can sound antithetical to the first point, but I do enjoy kissing as well.

When I've bottomed I enjoyed the pleasure of someone else working hard to get me off, feeling their desire towards me is a huge plus. I do not, however, find bottoming to be inherently emasculating and think that this is an optional (and for some maybe desired) component of the act.

[quote]For me--and note that I'm saying for me, not for others--I don't want to be put into a feminine role, and I don't want to put someone I'm having sex with in that role either.

Oh for fuck's sake. This tired tripe, really?

Getting fucked doesn't make you a girl or 'feminine' anymore than throwing on a strap on makes a dyke 'the man'.

Grow up already.

R35 is a rich, fine MD,PHD.

And so funny.

I'm going to have to say that the mind boggling intensity of the euphoria from it is probably the main reason for being a bottom. There are a few negatives related to it, but experiencing the greatest physical pleasure that is possible in life generally tends to make up for those things.

"why do you prefer to be a bottom?" Is the question. Not many seriously answered that question. Seems to me there are about 10 bottoms for every true top. Most bottoms in my experience are all about themselves, now much dick you are going to give them, how hard, how fast, how many dicks, fuck me all night long and on and on.

Im fat, lazy and got shit on my mind.

I'm a top so have no investment in refuting the idea that bottoming is feminizing (well other than valiantly defending my partner's honor). But I really don't get it. What is the womanly part? Taking a cock? Being vulnerable to a man?

[quote] There are a few negatives related to it

Getting an STI? Even with protection.

I can go either way, top or bottom, but it truly depends on the other guy. I've had partners where we have flip-flopped and equally enjoyed it. When I was younger I was with mostly older men all of whom wanted to top me. It was hot being taught how to properly prep for a hot night in the sheets and then going at it for hours. As I age I tend to top more bc there are so many bottoms. Anal sex is an art and there's more than just banging. The prostate orgasm is strong and intense. Blow jobs are tiring. Plus there's always teeth. Well with a few exceptions. I've never felt more masculine taking cock up my ass. It's just amazing. However going to back rooms and bathhouses to just plow a guy with his ass in the air is not appealing to me. There definitely has I be a connection.

R35, rich-as-shit? good-looking? actually, you no longer sound nice, you sound dreadful.

R48 and R35, is shit rich? It looks kind of lonely as it circles the bowl. Hardly rich.

the question was 'Why do you prefer to be a bottom?' so why in the world are all these strict-tops-i-don't-even-want-my-mate-to-bottom answering? shut up already and let the pros handle this.

anal sex doesn't allow for procreation.

must be because bottoms are becoming more like tops 'psychologically' and tops more like bottoms.

R51, really?

Who are these anti-anal sex posters on DL? I have NEVER met a gay man in real life who doesn't enjoy fucking an ass or being fucked. Only on DL have I come across gay men with such an intense aversion to it.

I lived with a gay guy who wasn't into anal. He just liked j/o with other guys. So weird.

What's so odd about not doing anal? For the bottom, it takes a ton of prep, can be incredibly painful, and makes him so much more susceptible to HIV (yes, even WITH CONDOMS, which aren't foolproof). There are so many other safer, less painful ways to feel intimate and get off with another guy, why even bother with anal? Sexual encounters for me include tons and tons of foreplay, followed by some mutual JO, or, if I feel comfortable with the guy, oral sex. That's how it's done.

no, it isn't

r54, it's because a LOT of gays- ones you aren't aware of happily- are very damaged goods.

R55, I did, too. In addition, he only really liked having sex on Sunday mornings, when he knew his parents were in church. Except we didn't live anywhere near his parents.

Some people just don't want to be gay.

I moved out before the lease ended.

hear, hear

[quote]In addition, he only really liked having sex on Sunday mornings, when he knew his parents were in church. Except we didn't live anywhere near his parents.

lol r59

Some dudes just love getting filled up with throbbing dick, the preparation is worth it to them. And Im glad they exist! I dont know about the rest of you hoes

[quote]Getting fucked doesn't make you a girl or 'feminine' anymore than throwing on a strap on makes a dyke 'the man'.

The hell it doesn't. If you're a man on his back with his legs up ang getting fucked, you are most certainly the "girl" in the situation. I also agree that anal is just not for everybody. It's painful as fuck (no pun intended), takes a lot of prep, and, unless you are in a committed monogamous relationship, it's pretty dangerous. And those are just some of the cons.

Are you a top r62?

[quote]And those are just some of the cons.

geez, mary, what are the others? Hang-nails? Smudged eyeliner?

I just can't respect any so-called gay man that doesn't bottom. To me, they have major hangups and I just avoid those guys.

Right on R65 - I totally agree - it's so fucking limiting and too much role playing if only one person gets to be top or bottom. It's an unequal relationship.

What's worse is that a sexual partner has to be of certain physical height or other in order to bottom.

Just fucking enjoy yourselves. Jesus Christ.

[quote]geez, mary, what are the others? Hang-nails? Smudged eyeliner?

Fissures, tears, etc. etc. etc.

[quote]I just can't respect any so-called gay man that doesn't bottom. To me, they have major hangups and I just avoid those guys.

No hang ups here. I just don't enjoy it. Not everyone wants his ass plowed. It's exit only for me.

[quote]Fissures, tears, etc. etc. etc.

i guess I've been doing it wrong all of these years then because I've never had tears or any of those things

R24 that'a a malfunction, not a design issue.

Just sayin.

R70, most women naturally become "drier" as they age.

Some, not most, R71.

But anyway, the comparison remains false.

Let's not forget that gay guys rarely, if ever, had anal sex before the 1970s. It was just not part of the sexual menu. Until then, it was pretty much just blow jobs and JO. The sexual revolution was responsible for the explosion of anal sex in the gay community. That's been posted here many times.

Disagree, R72. It is true that most women do dry up after menopause. Also, even young women need lube at times depending on cycles, moods, medications....or if they're having marathon sex. The vag isn't a lube factory. There are limits to how much can be "produced" just like there are limits to how much jizz a man can shoot.

R73, I thought there were hieroglyphics on cave walls depicting anal sex between men in ancient times.

r75, I wasn't talking about ancient times. I meant in the past several hundread years in the western world. Besides those hieroglyphics were symbolic of a man's dominance over other men. Those drawings were not literal.

Oh, dear! All this talk about how painful and wrong anal sex is!

That's it. I'm turning to women now. It'll just be easier!

It's strange to hear gay men say anal sex is emasculating or feminine. I've never done it.

[quote]Let's not forget that gay guys rarely, if ever, had anal sex before the 1970s. It was just not part of the sexual menu.

I invented anal sex.

I had been a top for most of my gay life. It was when I realized that it was neither emasculating nor feminizing that I fnally relaxed and enjoyed being a bottom.

And boy do I enjoy it!

Disagree all you want, R74.

It's not an opinion, it's a fact. The vagina is designed to lubricate. It usually does, unless another condition is present, or in the case of overuse (as you mentioned). Of course it can become dry after menopause--it's not intended to be functional after menopause.

Now no one is saying that you can't use any hole in the body for any damn thing you please--male or female--but to equate the vagina with the anus in terms of function and, specifically, lubrication, is silly and completely unnecessary.

God, you sound horrid!

Because I can't get it up anymore.

I don't. I prefer total mutuality, not role playing.

please, all these dry pussy whores complaining of vaginal dryness. get out of here with that. it's the main reason why ky was invented folks. i mean seriously there are some extreme anally retentive gays in the world but that don't change the fact that some of us have matured beyond freud's first stage of sexual development. i completely understand your stand against 'fucking' but against all anal play. no fingers, prostate massagers, anal beads, please. you missing some seriously pleasurable o's. next time when your in the shower and your soaping up your cock, balls, and ass. go ahead and give yourself permission to stick a finger up there while stroking your cock and then tell me what you think, ok. it's a helluva way to start off the morning.

and let's not confused meat with fish. just because a guy tosses up his legs does not a girl make. get it right gays.

[quote]just because a guy tosses up his legs does not a girl make.

No, not anatomically, but still...

Saves on Viagra,

Because it's the most private place on my body that I can offer a man. For me, it's so erotic to feel a man's penis enter me.

[quote]I had been a top for most of my gay life. It was when I realized that it was neither emasculating nor feminizing that I fnally relaxed and enjoyed being a bottom

Yes anal is just one way that two guys can bring each other to their sexual peaks. Its really doesnt involve that feminizing stuff for me at least.

Emotional transference

It's not really that private when you're offering it to him in the Ramble though.

What's so "girly" about anal sex? To me it sounds like a weird hang-up, no better than straight men who are terrified of doing something "faggy."

It's not so much the act as it is the "position".

if it is doggy style then it's manly, if the position in missionary then it's girly

Right, particularly if the bottom guy's legs are up over the top's shoulders.

then the bottom will truly become a girly-man

But what if I want to watch his face while I'm fucking him? I cant do that without making him a girly man?

Like I said, seems like an immature hang-up.

It's not feminizing, it's intimate.

i just want to say from personal experience that there are tons and i do mean tons of str8 guys that love to get their asses played with. any bona fide, dyed in the wool, cocksucker can attest to this. so all these str8-acting gays, just jump on board because it's already happening. oh yeah talk to your fellow t-girls. they will tell you the same. some even like to get their hole poked. so you see the 'girly' thing is just an illusion, right?

you see a str8 guy typically can't ask his gf to lick or play with his ass but he can ask you and even when he don't, he doesn't protest to the same. you guys problem is you're mistaking appearance for reality. the gift of being gay is you can now see through and even dispell the illusion. this is unique to our breed. you guys need to embrace it.

Take your meds, dude.

no need to worry they're taken guy, calm down

R98, fuck him in front of a mirror

I feel it is the closest intimacy to have that penis inside me.

he's fun to be degraded like that, I love feeling like a horny slut that way

"If the anus was meant to be a sex organ, why doesn't it self-lubricate?"

It kinda does, when your sexy ass makes a top want to spit down a slimy load of saliva into your mangina.

I've been a bottom since I was 10 years old and was the girl from my older cousins. Over the years I really enjoyed being a man pleaser who really love sucking cock and taking it like a girl should. I always cum when i'm fucked in the asspussy and I always feel very girly and feminine when i'm with a man.

Because I have no interest in the other man touching my cock. I am there to serve and please him by sucking his cock hard and then taking it in my hot tight ass. I cum just from being fucked hands-free and sometime I cum just from the thrill of sucking the other guy off. I love cumming when being drilled by a rock hard cock and I feel like a total buttslut that way!

Ever since i was young, I have wanted to know what it felt like to be a bottom. For years many guys tried fucking me, none ever really took the time to teach me how to relax etc. One day I brought a anal training set which taught me how to relax. Step forward to many many later, my urge to be a bottom became so strong that I finally decided to do something about it. about 6 weeks ago I met a top on line who just happened to be visiting my local town in his camper. I agreed to meet him. When i first arrived we got naked and I started off by sucking his cock, he then pulled me up and we kissed, as we kissed he pushed his cock against my arse and I pushed back. He then got some lube and lubed us both. He was quite big and i had to use fingers on myself to prepare myself. Eventually he managed to slowly get it all the way it. At first it was painful, but that was soon overtaken by pleasure, both physically and emotionally. He knew that I loved having him in me. I loved submitting myself to him. I was in the perfect position, on my back legs in the air. Eventually he rolled me over and gave me a good fucking then cum in me. I love it. When i got home i was a bit sore for a few hours. However, I was horny for days after. Constant erections, leaking precum so much it came right thru and had to masturbate several times a day. Cant wait to try it again.

Now I'm older ive become more of a bottom. Like it just as much as topping.