What's the Oddest Place You've Masturbated?

Even if you're not an exhibitionist or thrill seeker, most guys at some point find themselves needing a release. Where have you taken things into your own hands? Me? Church restroom at 14, because my hard-on wouldn't go away and I had to climb the pulpit in front of the school and read one of the Epistles at Mass in a few minutes.

• Which Epistle, OP?

• Space Mountain

• In the middle of the side garden, under the stars, near the wisteria esplanade.

  Harvye

• In an 8th grade English class.

• In a sleeping room (aka prison cell) on a moving Amtrak train traveling from Miami to New York.

• In the parking lot of my old middle school. I live close by to it, it was late at night, there was no one around, and I couldn't wait until I got home.

• Into my own mouth. Odd, although hot and tasty.

• That would be in the butt, Bob.

  For%20the%20eldergays

• When I lived on the ocean in Florida, I used to love to j/o in the Atlantic.

• when I was about 16, used to skip out of attending Sunday School, walk downtown, look for graffiti written under a bridge. often jacked there, once ended up in a bank lobby, never thinking of security cams being in place. and oddly enuff , it was the bank my uncle Howie worked at.

• In the NYC to New Orleans Amtrack train, with the porter who served me breakfast that day.

• And what would Uncle Howie say if you were caught R10 ?

• In the boys' locker room bathroom in both middle school and high school, every once in a while. Sometimes after watching all the guys change into gym clothes I couldn't wait until I got home.

• Probably not that odd but I jerked off once while driving late one night. Not as easy or satisfying as you might think.

• Bend over for Uncle Howie, and pull down your trousers.

• R11 I did that on Amtrak too, with a big no-necked football player who came all over the pillow in my sleeping car.

• Whilst posting on this very board.

• R12 = the Nephew Troll.

• While driving in my car. I do it often.

• Doing it while driving in a car is odd? I'd think it was odd if a guy had never touched his cock while driving.

• [quote]with a big no-necked football player who came all over the pillow in my sleeping car. That's hot

• In the open air of my back yard in Lexington, Kentucky. And in the bushes outside a friend's apartment when I visited her in Houston, Texas.

• [quote]And in the bushes outside a friend's apartment when I visited her in Houston, Texas What, did you rub one out outside her place before going up and ringing the buzzer? How odd.

• On the roof of a county courthouse building.

• The United States Capitol

• Under a blanket on a plane. In my car.

  girl

• I jerked off another guy (stranger until that day) under a blanket in an airplane - does that count?

  I%20know%2C%20I%27m%20a%20whore%20darlin%27

• naw, Uncle Howie was a great guy, doubt he ever saw the security vid if there was one, and even though I find older/younger stuff potentially hot in porn, I have way too many fond memories of him to even think about that kind of stuff with him. just my thing, hate to dissappoint anyone, so you are tellin me there is a "uncle troll"??

• R19, that's fine, just don't text while driving.

• On an train from Fez to Marrakesh. Had been traveling for a week with a group of people and I had to get off. Went in the train car bathroom late at night and finished by shooting in the sink. Think it was the biggest load I ever shot. Haven't thought about it in over 15 years until I saw this thread.

  Marrakesh%20Express

• R1, it was first Epistle Reading of the Mass (if you're not Catholic, there usually are two readings from Paul or Acts or the other non-gospels) to be read on the feast of St. Matthias. It was the part of Acts of the Apostles that says, about the death of Judas, [quote]and he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out. Now, that was horrible enough. But I had been looking at Buddy Mueller's butt - he was a paper boy and would work out between selling papers on the street, and he was built like no one else in the school - and **BOING**

  OP

• What did Buddy Mueller's butt look like, OP?

• Somebody search Buddy Mueller in facebook. PRONTO.

• In the men's room of the Margaret Herrick Library at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences. I guess that's pretty MARY!.

• In a church, next to the slightly raised altar. It felt blasphemous, which added to the hotness.

• At the Vulcan Statue, Birmingham, Alabama.

• R27. I like your masturbation location the best. Yes darlin, you're a whore. And I mean that in a good way.

• In high school in my friend's parents' bed. They were away and my friend had a party. I was the only one who was staying over after the party. I couldn't drink that night because I was on medication. After everyone left and my friend went to sleep, I slipped into his parents' bedroom. I had the hots for my friend's dad, who was a tall barrell-chested guy. I found one of the dad's undershirts in the hamper and took in his musky scent. I got on the bed with a wad of tissue and went to town imagining my friend's dad fucking me on the bed while I smelled the undershirt. I blew a huge load. Flushed the tissue down the toilet and no one was the wiser.

• Climbed up a tree in my backyard and did it atop a branch (no treehouse). I was very young. In a taxicab on my way to JFK airport. Driver never noticed. I was very high.

• " Flushed the tissue down the toilet and no one was the wiser." That's what you think, R38.

  His%20Dad

• I've done what R27 did several times. I prefer under a tray table though.

• R40, you should have signed it, "His Dad's Ghost."

  R38

• How did you initiate the handjobs, r41? Did you suggest it, did your seatmate ask for it, or was it surprise jackoff?

• In the ballroom with a lead pipe.

• In a cemetery... during a funeral. No joke.

• R38 I hear you. My best friend in college was a handsome enough guy, though I didn't see him in a sexual way. But his father was the definition of alpha male. Super tall (6'5") and one of the sexiest men I'd ever seen. He was 50 and looked 30. Solid as fuck. Size 14 feet. Ex-Marine but a very nice man, one of the first to sort of subtly suggest to me that he knew I was "taking a different path." I stayed with my friend at his dad's maybe five or six times in two years. The last few times I made a point to crash on the couch in the basement so I could find his underwear or shirts. He smelled amazing - I can still remember the smell of his cock and how stretched out the pouch of his briefs were. The last time I went was at our graduations. His dad was wearing a tank top and shorts. I almost came in my pants just seeing him.

  R16%2C%20now%20has%20the%20vapors

• Olmsted Summerhouse on the Capitol grounds, aided by the hand of a Capitol police officer.

• R47, OK, now I am rock hard. LOL

• On my hotel room balcony overlooking the boardwalk in one of those New Jersey boardwalk towns, I can't remember which one. Sad, it's probably been swept out to sea now. Goodbye, sweet memories...

• Please describe the (hopefully male) police officer, r47. TIA and very much appreciated.

• White guy, mid 30's (best guess), about 5'10, fitfat, dark goatee and a smirk that wouldn't quit. Definitely made up for getting up super early to run on the Mall that morning.

  r47

• Alley, downtown Cincinnati, with another guy. New Year's Day. 1985.

• Greyhound bus, at age 13, on the way to visit my grandmother. Fondled myself under my trousers, came all over myself under my clothes. Learned a lesson about hygiene and odor that day.

• At my desk in the back row of my business class in 9th grade. My teacher was this tall, hot basketball coach, late 20's and while we took tests, he would sit at his desk reading and put his feet up on the wastebasket and kick his shoes off. I stared at those hot dress socked feet and pressed my hard-on against the edge of my desk and rubbed against it imagining putting my nose up against the socked soles and toes and inhaling and kissing and worshiping his black-socked feet. Shot a huge load in my pants.

• R46, your friend's dad sounds hot! Like you, I wasn't attracted to my friend at all. My friend resembled his mother's side of the family. In fact, my friend's three siblings all resembled the mother's side. Too bad no one got the hot dad's looks. Kind of sad follow up. The dad was still pretty hot in high school but he had started to put on weight by the time we were seniors. I didn't stay good friends with his son, so by my senior year I'd only see him on occasion, making the weight gain more noticeable. The dad was tall (6'4) and broad, so he still carried the weight pretty well by my senior year. Cut to 10 years later when I run into him and his wife at a store while home visiting my parents one summer. The dad had put on a ton of weight and looked awful. Just a few years after that an old friend told me the dad died. Apparently he had some kind of heart problem that slowed him down and got him very depressed, thus the weight gain. He eventually died of the ailment. But I still remember the hot guy who provided hours of fantasies, and still does to this day.

  R38

• In the men's bathroom at my work, after checking out a hot UPS guy with a hot body passing my way. Got an instant boner, and had to immediately choke the chicken. That rarely happens at work!

• Riding my motorcycle on cruise control south on I-95, somewhere in GA. And I even came! Try that, boys!

  lez

• I did it in class once, too. 9th or 10th grade I think. Don't even remember what brought it on - I of course had a boner constantly in those days. I was wearing a pair of baggy cargo pants with very large pockets - big enough to get a nice firm grip on my cock and covertly go to town. Made a little mess in my boxers, but I was jerking off so much in those days that I didn't even shoot that much. Ah, memories. I still jerk off in the men's room at work, occasionally.

• Gethsemane.

  Jesus%20Christ

• On the night shift in a top secret lab for the US Air Force. Less people at night. I was reading a cheap novel sex scene which got me horny. The door had to be code punched to enter so I had time to hide the evidence when somebody entered. In the novel a woman had jacked her boyfriend and said his cum smelled like the ocean. I had to see if mine did also. and yes.

• I was in a dressing room at JC Penney trying on jeans when I was shopping w/my mother. I remember thinking how dirty it was when I just left the cum on the carpet and how I was nervous that there might have been cameras. I was probably 16. The other time was in a Dillards dressing room w/a guy I had met in the mall. He got off on doing stuff in public places, he wanted me to fuck him in the dressing room but I was too nervous. He would just grab a pair of jeans and go to a dressing room like it was nothing, but I had to make it not obvious so I picked up a few pairs of jeans, and after we jerked off together and I came all over his face he used said pair to clean up then just walked out and that was the last I saw him. I was nervous that we would be busted for that, and when I came out the woman sales associate asked if I needed any help or if the sizes were right.

• There was a drive-in movie theater near where I used to live that showed hard core (straight) porn. (This was in the days before VCRs.) I used to go every week and jack off in my car.

• And for those of you who don't believe that ...

  http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/porn-as-high-as-an/content?oid=606272

  R62

• I did it on the chair of somebody at work that I had a crush on. I thought it would be no big deal to wipe it off but it wouldn't come out! So I switched his chair with another in another department. He bitched about his chair not being the right settings for a week.

• There is a Drive-in porn movie theatre outside of Tyler, Texas.

• When I was a teenager, my mom and I were driving to my grandmothers. (200 miles.) I masturbated in the passenger seat next to her while she was driving. I think I was discreet. who knows. Also, once in an airplane bathroom. Also when a teenager.

• Once, on the Arctic tundra. It was quite a beautiful experience.

• On top of Ben Nevis - just before a party of German schoolboys arrived.

• Speaking of Tyler, Texas, I spanked the monkey in the municipal rose garden there.

• R8: Oh you!

• Library stacks study carrels in college.

• In the backseat of the car while riding w/my dad and grandad up to his house for the holidays. I was 15 and the car ride was long and I just unzipped and jerked. I'm pretty sure my dad knew what I was doing as I kept watching for his eyes in the rearview mirror. My grandada was just asleep so he had no clue. It was terrifying, yet exhilarating. I had some silky boxers on.

• Under an afghan on my parents living room sofa as a teen, while my parents sat in the room reading teh newspaper.

• I'm too ashamed and embarrassed to say the #1 oddest place I've jerked off. But I have also j/o'd in the backseat while my parents were up front, as well as jerked myself off in class (in middle school) under my jacket. Did the locker room thing as well (I was a swimmer and saw so much dick & ass in those days, I was constantly riled up). I remember one time pulling it out in the forest behind my house and jacking off behind a large tree that blocked anyone from seeing me. I was completely OOC as a kid.

• [quote]The last time I went was at our graduations. His dad was wearing a tank top and shorts. I almost came in my pants just seeing him. R46. Your friend's father wore a tank top and shorts to a graduation? That's rather inappropriate and white trash of him.

• A little peeping Tom action. I lived on the outskirts of town in the part right before it became mainly rural. There was a single biker guy in the last house at the end of the street, which was a dead end that led into the forrest. Right near his house there was a path that was a shortcut through the woods to my friend's house. Just as the path neared the street you could see into the biker's sliding glass door on his back deck. One summer evening, I was coming back from my friend's and saw the single guy through the sliding glass doors walking around with just his underwear on. He was medium built, full beard, hairy chest. I got the courage to go up on his deck and jerk off to him sitting on his couch watching TV. I did it a few more times until one night a noise in the woods startled me and I made some noise. There I was with my hand in my shorts going to town. Well the biker guy jumped up and grabbed a pair of shorts to put on and headed for the back deck. Lucky for me he had a small back yard and I ran like hell into the woods. He came out with a flashlight and looked around for a bit. I stayed very still and was scared to death. After he went in, I went down the tree line a bit and took an alternate path home. I only went back once more. He had never had back lights on in the past. I assume it was because of that night when I made noise because when I went back, he had the back lights on. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

• I used to do it in our backyard all the time, as well as pee in the backyard.

• R64: did you smell chair first...soak up his musty ass odor? Hot!

• R75 - Last time I went to their HOUSE. It was my friend's graduation party. And his dad had like eight of his Marine buddies there. Lots of eye candy. But I was so focused on his dad and I knew it was prob. the last time I was going to get to be there, too. A really beautiful man, inside and out, and the biggest fittest man I've ever seen.

  R16/R46

• Buddy was blonde, had a large square face with looks that just begged to be in a uniform. Which is where he ended up - a Marine lifer who has had more tours overseas than anyone could count. He was not tall, but solid muscle with a small waist, huge defined chest, and an ass that looked like it was cut from stone). He was the only guy I knew who wore white pants, and they always were too tight but managed to go up the crack of his ass like they were tailored. Remember, he was 14-15 (as was I) and way ahead of his time. He couldn't understand why men were hitting on him at the corner where he sold papers. Never mind that in between sales he was doing push ups and squats. (I am telling the truth here.) He was a classic narcissist who was all about the fitness and beef, but didn't connect it all to sexuality. Not at that age, any way. Oh, enough of him. Later in high school I had more issues with the dark smooth half-Indian (American) soccer boy in the senior class who didn't like how some of his classmates talked about me, so he'd come over and rub my shoulders and tell me to ignore them. Then he'd pat me on the cheek. Well, then it was off to the empty nurse's room for a little relief. That's where everyone went to "do things." One more thing - inner city Catholic high school. I knew at least 10 of the "straight" guys were hustling in the park nearby for date money. It was a St. Louis tradition - still is in some areas. After school getting your cock sucked for a couple of bucks. Amazing. But none of the gay kids did it. So with all the sexual knowledge at the school, students (sometimes with teachers and priests) were jerking off or otherwise playing around all the time. The worst was my future brother-in-law fucking a girl on the altar. Now, really.

• hot guy jacked me off on a overnight bus ride in Mexico. One time in Argentina-amazing German skier guy and I jerked each other off in the train bathroom. Were accidental seat mates - no better way to travel. Good kisser too.

• Sounds hot, R81.