Getting Your Life Back on Track After A Bad Period

Like a lot of people, the last few years have no been good to me. Went through almost 2 years of unemployment and no income and all that comes with that. Lost a parent. Started having some health issues of my own--bad back and unexplained pain and bleeding to the tune of $7000 in medical bills. I got a job last year and have been dealing with trying to get my finances back in order. It's difficult because I'm making a lot less than I used to. Got a second job this fall. I should have the medical bills paid off in March. During this period I found out that most of the people who I thought were friends, even after years, were not really friends. One "friend" stopped talking to me because it was too depressing and had the nerve to leave me a message saying "I heard you got a job..." like I was only worth talking to if I'm employed. I'm trying to get my life back on track, but can't seem to make any progress. What would you do?

• your progress will come in due time just stay motivated, focused and keep your eyes on your goals. sometimes you have to scale back in order to lauch yourself forward. in life you will eventually tell the difference bwtn friends and so-called friends, family and so-called family, those that mattered, those that don't and those that never. dry your eyes, blow your nose and keeping it moving always towards your personal endeavors.

• You've made progress, you got a job. Each step is progress, so stop diminishing your 'wins.' Most friends are fair-weather friends, something you want to keep in mind in the future. They don't want to hear about your trial and tribulations; it's nothing personal, that's how people are and it happens to all of us.

• Ironically, the odds become increasingly in your favor. The more bad stuff that happens, the more good stuff is about to arrive. Life always balances things out.

• Honey, first thing you've got to do is bag up and toss out all those bloody pads lying around the apartment... you know, before you let your man come back over...

• I stopped getting my period in 1998.

• [R4] Honey, he needs to stuff those bloody rags down your throat.

• What kind of unexplained bleeding are we talking about?

• [quote] During this period I found out that most of the people who I thought were friends, even after years, were not really friends. Just don't post this on facebook. I swear, every other day someone on facebook writes something similar to this. It's beyond passive-aggressive.

• What kind of friends do that? Is it you? Are you a professional victim? Do you broadcast your setbacks and ignore others' accomplishments? Do you have a circle of shockingly shallow friends. Friend should be there to help you pick up the pieces.

• I agree with R9. Going through difficult periods (ha!) in life IS a part of life. Having friends to lament to is one of life's simplest pleasure. But even the best of friends have a breaking point. Did all you do was complain, mope, and be negative? That can exhaust even the best of friends. Did you keep a sense of humor during your darkest days, or at least attempt to ask how your other friends were doing in their life? Did you express interest in the positive aspects of their lives, even while your life was going down the drains? Answer these honestly and then we can talk.

• Burn the white shorts you wore. Even with scrubbing, the stain will never fully come out, and seeing them in your dresser will only remind you of the shame.

• At least you didn't get knocked-up.

• You're a woman now. Bow your head and pray.

  Maggie%20White

• Yes this.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRoZvHDlRHg

• What r3 said!

  Darfur%20orphans

• Despite the usual cuntiness of some of the responders to this thread, I really do admire you, OP. I have a friend in similar circumstances and his response to his situation has been to take up meth and a PnP hobby.

• I dunno. I have psoriasis and my skin randomly bleeds for no reason. Well the reason is that the skin cells are rapidly replenishing. But I could see going through a couple of docs before you would get a diagnosis.

• I'm pulling for you, OP.

• You lost us at unexplained bleeding.

• Life certainly sux often. Take heart. Ignore the cruel judgments--simply not productive for you to listen. Yes, most people are weak supports. Would you be better, honestly? Maybe you would. Certainly you will when you pull through. Nothing like rotten patches to teach empathy to a worthy person. Won't say my story. Might get accused of being "professional victim." Still here, still afraid but hanging in. Smidgeons of happiness hereabouts, and rays of hope. All ends badly, for sure, finally, for all of 'em, if that's any consolation.

  H.%20Alger

• You are making progress. It's not happening over night, but you are still moving forward if you now have a job and will soon be out of debt. What would I do? I would find new friends. (I've been through a similar situation, OP, and that's what I ended up having to do. It takes time, but it's better than being alone/miserable/etc.). Good luck to you!

• OP, day by day right now. If it seems too frustrating or too far off you run the risk of freaking yourself out. So day by day. Minute by minute if need be. You're doing a brave and admirable thing, turning it around. But it isn't a TV movie so just go day by day, inch by inch and don't be too hard on yourself. Yep, you're being tested and it sucks. I wish it weren't happening for you, but it is so the best you can do is deep breath and keep moving forward. I know it sounds corny but one thing I learned in cognitive behavioural therapy is to keep a journal and in list one thing - anything - that makes you happy or you're grateful for. Just anything positive. Even if you have to stretch. Read it and reread it and watch the list grow. It may not solve all your problems but it will also remind you it isn't all bad. And in a year from now... it's going to be better. If not perfect, probably better than it was. Keep going forward, even if all you can manage right now is baby steps. You're doing OK. And you were smart enough to ask for advice and support rather than wallow in it. You got the stuff to get through this. xo

• always present your hole towards the north east it will bring you fortune

  Cang%20Kim

• Thanks for the responses. I actually told the friend who drop me only to reappear that I didn't want to talk about losing my job because it was too upsetting to me. This "friend" is one of those people that makes their whole life work and that is all he talks about so when I didn't have a job to talk about I guess I wasn't worth talking to. When my mother died, I told only the people closest to me I never posted anything on Facebook about what I was going through. I prefer to keep most things to myself. I do know I wasn't great company and I did retreat for some time. I'd rather be alone than be around people when I am down. I was peeing blood on a regular basis and doctors never were able to tell me what was wrong. All rather troubling and I refer to it as the unexplained bleeding. Anyway, still plugging away, but feeling a bit overwhelmed at all that I feel I need to do because I ignore so much while all this was going on.

  OP