People with seriously messy homes

What the hell? Just got back from a friend's apartment for dinner. He and his wife are FILTHY! I thought he was just a pig but hoped once he moved in with/got married to his wife, she'd at least be neat. No. They live in a one-bedroom apartment that smells like rotten vegetables. Tons of dirty dishes piled high in their rancid little kitchen. Crap everywhere...unfolded laundry, random magazines/newspapers, etc. They have a cat which only adds to the aroma. Thank God we did takeout, because I would hate to eat whatever came out of that god forsaken kitchen.

I grew up in a home like that. My parents still live that way and my sister and brother in law live like that in their house too. :( Some people love having clutter all around them.
ClutterWarrior
OP is so frigging gay, my laptop just burst into flames.
My house smells like methane gas. And ass. Most Scientologists have this problem. We fart like crazy
Anne%20Archer
Hey, r2, it`s a gay website! What were you expecting
I knew a girl who lived like that. But then she died.
I would not be able to eat in a home like that, I would have to find a way to get out of there. I stayed with a girl like this and I tried cleaning and she actually got pissed at me and I lost, I mean I lost my fucking shit. I told her everything I had every thought about her, called her a cunt, and said she was not a fucking adult. I am not proud of that, but that is the extent of crazy that I get around severe mess like that. I just think it is a major learned helplessness and I think sometimes people need a drill sergeant to fuck some major shit into their brains and wake them up. Adults don't live like that.
I would not be able to eat there either. And I would never go back.
It could be a sign that they are depressed, OP.
http%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Di8G7GAHJTm4
Another dinner thread
R8 is right. I used to be very clean with an actual list that I ticked off. I then got depressed after my friend died and it became impossible to do anything. My outside world was a reflection of what was going on inside. I was so ashamed but I lacked the energy to do anything but get dressed and go to work.
anonymous
There are tons of people who live like this. Fewer, though, are messy people who are not shamed into having noone over to see their mess. I'm just surprised they were so willing to have company with their place like that. For all you know, it's usually worse and they cleaned up for you. I grew up with a family friend like this. My mom set up a stopover for me with one of their kids 10 years ago when I was passing through and needed a place to stop for a night, and it turned out they cleaned like crazy hearing I was coming, as they normally had serious uncleanliness there. Thankfully, they didn't 'accept themselves as they were' enough to let me visit their slovenliness.
If you can type on DL, you're not too depressed to get off your ass and open the fucking doors and windows of your pig sty.
I used to live like that. It wasn't because of depression, but because cleaning didn't seem worth the trouble. I don't hold any great value on a clean house, and I loathe the whole suburban house-centric scene and everything related to its mindset. I changed when I realized that never having people over was a bigger problem than the effort of cleaning. So I have a small apartment that can be kept up without much effort, I'll never buy a big-ass house with a yard.
I had a college roommate like that. I don't get the whole clean till its filthy mentality. I prefer clean as you go. I don't do "Clean-Up Days''. I make sure I clean everyday in some sort of capacity. Washing dishes, making the bed, and taking out trash in particular should be daily chores. Not weekly or monthly tasks. I also consider it crass to not tidy up your place when expecting company.
Anonymous
This is so much deeper a problem than most people realize. It's complex.like a food addict, alcoholic, or anyone else , the reasons can be many, and varied.
I know it isn't the same thing, but I was borderline messy until I watched a few episodes of the hoarders shows. I remember reading in some forums that some people immediately started to clean up after watching the shows and that is what happened to me. Out went the old and unused, I started to make my bed as soon as I got up and was a little more diligent when dusting and hoovering the place. The litter box was all ready for occupancy which the cat seemed to appreciate. The biggest obsession became having a clean bathroom and making sure the shower and toilet were sparkling and smelled fresh. Life seems easier. I had friends that would pile up their dirty laundry in the middle of the floor in the basement because she hated doing laundry. They had a big washer and dryer but she found it difficult to sort through the pile and instead would buy new clothes rather than take the time to clean the old stuff. The pile smelled just like you would expect it to smell too. They never tried to hide it and would laugh and make excuses for it.
New idea for a program -- "Shitholes".
Producer%20of%20%22Hoarders%22
Fuck you, who are you the "how do you live police." If you don't like it, don't go over to their home. I'm sure they will be of no loss for it.
R18 = filthy slob. And good for you, r6! People like that are disturbed.
I don't understand how anyone can live that way. I can understand temporarily due to depression, but to always be like that, nope. That's madness.
Anyone remember the DL thread about the shortest time taken to get ready in the morning?!? There seemed to be some fairly messy/smelly people in that thread.
There is a vast difference between messy and dirty.
[quote] There is a vast difference between messy and dirty. Interesting point, R22, although the difference might not be that vast. Not making one's bed - messy? Not making one's bed and not changing the sheets for a month - messy and dirty? Leaving the empty pizza box on the kitchen bench while you finish watching a movie - messy? Leaving the empty pizza box on the kitchen bench overnight - messy and dirty?
I absolutely HATE going into someone's house if it's dirty, particularly on a nasty, rainy day. Yech! Same with a dirty car. You can tell a lot about how a person lives by looking at their car. If it's a mess, then chances are good that their house is a mess too. I work with a woman who not only has a junky car, but her cubicle always looks like a tornato ran through it. Her house is probably the worst.
That's "tornado". Whoops.
R24
Work schedules and imagined sex roles really fuck up a couple's shelter hygiene. If both couples work, there's usually a struggle over chores. OP may have been used as a sort of UN inspector without realizing it. Two of my straight friends came from single-breadwinner households and expected to come home to a clean house and a hot meal. They didn't factor in the fact their girlfriends worked too. Watching a grown man take so little responsibility or initiative was difficult. The pouting and sulking was pathetic. Among my single friends, I've noticed a fratboy mentality in some as if they're rebelling against some mommy figure that isn't present. I've also met with guys who used their mothers as unpaid house cleaners (worse than any of the above IMO). You can afford a condo, but can't maintain it? God help us all.
r20 That's what straight people say about gays.
I work with a woman whose desk is organized to the point of obsession but her home is dirty. Everything has a place but it appears she never cleans any of it. Very tidy but really dirty which I found weird. On the other hand I have a friend who is just a pig. The house is an utter pig sty. No kne gors around there if they can avoid it including his brother, a pilot, whenever he's in the state but this still doesn't motivate him to do anything about it. The odd part is my friend is obsessed with washing his hands, eats only organic foods, only wears organic fibers, makes his own soap yet lives in squalor. He's not depressed but has never in his life done anything he doesn't enjoy. If it's not fun, it's not worth doing. Cleaning is boring, he'll tell you plus it only gets messed up again so what's the point. I don't go around there anymore but he can't work out why. He used to tidy up for people but he doesn't even do that and then is baffled why no one visits.
R27, you're really going to try to draw a comparison between disgusting pigs who can't keep their houses clean and gay people? Really? How does that even compute? Just clean up that sty of yours. You are an embarrassment.
I used to be messy and thought people who couldn't go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink had OCD. Then I grew up and I am one of those people. Maybe it had something to do with getting a dog that sheds (a lot) and realizing that I would have to stay on top of cleaning or else I could easily have a pig sty-I'm not sure. The only place in the house that is messy now are the closets and they are starting to bother me!!!
[quote]I used to be messy and thought people who couldn't go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink had OCD. That's trifling. You should never have dirty dishes in your kitchen sink, particularly when you go to bed. I'm glad you changed.
r31 I was bemused by your use of the word trifling (i.e. trivial, insignificant) in response to my post, until I discovered that there is dialectic usage that I have never heard. So now apparently I have been insulted. How kind!!!
r30
[quote]I was bemused by your use of the word trifling until I discovered that there is dialectic usage that I have never heard Wow, you just realized that, R32?
Actually, R31/R33, I'd never heard 'trifling' used as an insult before either. I suspect that it is a new meaning, arising out of ignorance. Like saying that something is gay (meaning bad).
No, R34, the word has been used colloquially for years within the African American community to denote laziness, ugliness and/or basic disgustingness.
I love that word because it captures "trashy" in a nutshell.
Ok, so you're African American R35?
I didn't say that, R37. I could just have a lot of black friends.
R37, stop being resistant to learning.
Be nice -- they might have the flu
The truly messy people I know have alcohol problems
I know some people who are so obsessive over cleaning that their homes look like somebody from Architectural Digest is due to photograph it at any moment. I couldn't live like that, even when I go over, I'm afraid to move in case I disturb something. On the other hand something dirty and cluttered is not relaxing either. There's a middle ground where your house becomes a home. When it looks lived in and comfortable, that's when it's best.
I'm an example of mild sloth, and I simply wasn't keeping up with dirty dishes or the floors. The remedy was as simple as buying a countertop dishwasher and a Roomba, which I turn on and walk away from every other day or so. Add in the bathroom, which I manage to do on my own every couple weeks, and the result isn't half bad.
Every%20other%20daily%20bi-weekly%20gay%20giz%20whiz
OP, I suffer from depression and it's embarrassing how bad my apartment is. It actually has impacted my love life because bringing guys home isn't an option. Fortunately, some friends are coming to town next weekend so I don't have a choice but to spend the next few days cleaning.
I (finally) learned the hard way (more than once) that the longer you let housework go, the worse it gets. I started forcing myself to clean up as I went along, or at least toss out the trash and put everything else away before I go to bed at night. Even if the rest of the houses still needs some dusting and vacuuming around the edges, everything is neat and in its place, and at least the kitchen and bathroom surfaces will be clean. I'm so used to doing this now that I actually suffer from a bit anxiety if I don't --- I'm afraid I'll fall back into my formerly slipshod ways if I don't ride herd on myself. I have a few little tricks, such as pretending that all the dishes (or glasses or cutlery) are friends and if I leave one alone in the sink overnight it'll miss its friends in the dishwasher. Ditto for unloading the dishwasher, and for laundry as well. When I put my clothes away in my dresser drawer or hang them up in my closet (which are now organized according to type of clothing and then by color, after years of my just jamming my clothes in any which way), my clothes have "reunions." Yeah, I know. But it makes it kind of fun instead of just a chore.
I can't live like that OP. I definitely am a little OCD when it comes to keeping a clean house. I do agree that there are sometimes reasons why people let their homes go (like depression etc). My parents home, over the course of the last couple years, has become a bit of a mess. My father has been ill for over several years, and my mom had 2 separate cancer's over the past 2 years, so the housework took a back seat.....as well as home repairs, yard work - you name it, it's a mess. It's really been bothering me lately, but I know my parents don't have the energy to get these things done. So I figure I need to step in and do it and get the ball rolling. I spent the day over at their place painting. I am trying to get their house back to being the nice place it use to be. This week I will go over and do some yard work since the weather is supposed to be warmer - they still haven't raked the leaves and it's January! The yard is still a mess from Hurricane Sandy. My father usually hires someone to do all the yard work, but for some odd reason he "hasn't got around to it yet".
It would be so hard to explain why something as simple as keeping a house clean would be too much of an effort for some, Depression can be baffling. I've been diagnosed, but am currently unmedicated. I function really well, day to day. You'd never guess that I live like I do. When I return home, I just want to get into bed. I have spurts of energy to clean, but it's obviously not enough. I know I have to change this.
Nothing grosses me out more than a sinkful of dirty dishes and trash buildup. Yuck I couldn't have even eaten takeout there.
Anonymous
Delores Jenkins presents fried fiddle night at the Sand Dunes
R12 obviously does not understand depression.
People have have cat litter boxes in their homes are DISGUSTING! Protest all you like, no matter how much you claim to keep the box clean your homes ALWAYS smell like cat piss & shit.
You might of well have said people who have a cat are disgusting. I'm guessing you've never had one. It can be done successfully.
I grew up with parents somewhat indifferent to clutter, who were also chronically ill, so lots went by the wayside. We did pull it together from time to time and clean up, but it seemed to get ahead of us a lot. It eventually got a lot better, especially when we kids left, but my folks veer towards the cluttery. Still, even I was horrified to be invited to a friend's home last summer for a neighborhood get together (40 or so guests), and even though I was a few hours early, having come from out of town, I was shocked by what I saw. The kitchen was a freaking clutter bomb mess, and even though dishes were being cooked and prepped, there was not ONE flat surface to put anything down. I had baked a cake and I had to go into the dining room, and look for a place (a chair) to rest the cake box on! The deck off of the kitchen looked as if it hadn't been swept or cleaned in months, and was covered with dirt and mud. The hose was all unraveled and the patio furniture was all dirty. I mean, it was filthy. I couldn't help myself, I wrapped a beach towel around my nice ironed dress slacks and just started cleaning as if my life depended upon it, all while causally keeping up my end of the conversation with attempted breeziness! I did the work of four people in about 90 minutes, and managed to not only design the buffet, but clean the kitchen sink, sweep and hose off the deck, cover the deck chairs with towels, and cushions (most were too dirty to use), and help bake the appetizers, as well as plate and set out the dishes that many of the guests brought with them. Oh, and I created a self-serve bar in the garage (which was also filthy). I don't think my pal's marriage is a very happy one, but the entire family (three teen-aged kids) seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that they lived in a pig sty, or that there was no way that they were in shape to have company. I wonder what people would have thought had the house been as I found it when they arrived. I am reasonably immune to clutter, but this was WAY beyond that! I couldn't pretend and do nothing, I was so embarrassed for them, I had to get in there and scrub!
I used to live next door (in a condo building) to a hetero couple of friendly, functional alcoholics. Every Friday afternoon, everybody who lived on our floor was invited to a "happy hour". The couple was wealthy, both had very well paying jobs, before the age of 40 they had paid off the mortgage on their penthouse loft, but the place was something out of a TLC reality show. The laundry was drying on racks in the middle of the living room, there was crap everywhere, the pair of cats they owned peed all over the place so there was that lingering smell of stale pee mixed with cat litter. In one word, awful... Not to mention, mess all over the place and crusty crap filling the kitchen sinks. If they ever decide to sell that place, its value has completely gone down the toilet. I was even worried that the shit in their apartment will attract vermin to the floor and that we will have a tough time selling our own unit but we managed to unload it just in time.
I clean at least an hour a day, if not more. When I have several days off in a row, I can spend about 8-12 hours cleaning. I own a home with a backyard. I inherited it, and my parents were mild hoarders, so there is always something to clean, something to throw out, something to donate. I have been home 8 years and done nothing but clean the whole time. Well, that and take care of a dying mother and get a second degree and work. It's totally worth it, but some days I am amazed at the sheer amount of work I do just to try to keep up. When I have people over, though, they remark on how cute and tidy it is, so that makes it worth it. That is a strange thing, too, when you are very tidy, sometimes I find that people look for things that might not be perfect, as if they just can't resist pointing out some flaw, even if it's totally minor. One fucking bitch who I don't talk to anymore, who by the way RENTS, used to come over and point out whatever I hadn't had a chance to get to as I attempted to complete a second degree and work. My dishes and laundry were always done, trash taken out, but I prioritized, and my school work came first. This twat would look for things to criticize, so finally I cut her out and never called her again. The weird thing is she thought she was the queen of clean, but she had this weird habit of putting everything she owned out in these weird displays, so they were often dusty and if you bumped against something, something would fall off a table or a counter. Every surface was covered in bric a brac. I do not consider that clean at all. I like sparse surfaces with a few clusters here and there of collections or books, but all in an orderly fashion, and I dust constantly.
R2 has flung so many boogers onto the living room wall by the couch she is glued to that it vibrates when she farts.
[R47], your post sounds like it could have been written by me.
I was almost that bad a decade ago when I was single and depressed. Could never have anybody over. Fortunately now I'm partnered to someone who hates clutter. I am indifferent to clutter but I hate bad smells. So we worked it out: if it'll smell if it isn't cleaned, then I do it (kitchen/dishes/fridge, bathroom, trash/recycling). He does the rest (laundry, clutter in general, dusting/vacuuming). I think that between couples, division of labor and 1-person ownership of various chores is the way to go. No arguing about whose turn it is to do Chore X.
I've been in a few situations as a guest in a cluttered or even dirty home, like r54's and r53's stories. I can't get over how people can have guests with their homes looking like that. If I'm having people over, I can't even have a dirty dish or coffee cup in the sink or my mail on the kitchen table. Maybe I'm a little OCD, but I don't care. I'd rather have a clean house than a messy one. If I go overboard sometimes trying to keep things spotless, oh well. It's better than having a mess.
[quote]One fucking bitch who I don't talk to anymore, who by the way RENTS... OMG what a loser she is! She should inherit a house like you did!
Cats living in houses is gross. Nasty things.
There was an episode of Hoarders that featured a woman with a blocked up septic system. Rather than have it fixed, she went to the bathroom (#1 AND #2 mind you) in empty soda bottles and plastic foood containers. She left them all over the house. This was on top of all the other junk she was hoarding.I couldn't stop watching.
Anonymous
This site always helps me to get off my ass and clean when I need to:
http%3A//unfuckyourhabitat.tumblr.com/
Growing up in a Scrubby Dutch household I was accustomed to everything being neat and squeaky clean. Then I became friends with a lovely couple - he was a lawyer & she was a nurse - and they had me over for dinner... I could not believe the filth in their home. They just didn't consider it important. I can't say I will get over my brain-washing into keeping things clean, but my messy friends showed me that we don't need to be so immaculate all the time. Though we do need to be sanitary.
I am just an eccentric old bachelor that nobody cares about anyway, and I don't care much about doing women's work or worrying about the things that women worry about. I bought a nice home about 11 years ago, and paid cash for it since I don't have a wife spending my money faster than I can earn it. I hung plain white sheets over the windows and they are still there, covered with dust now. I used folding tables from Office Depot for furniture, and over the years they have all gotten covered with junk mail that I have yet to go through, and stuff that I had better not throw away because I might need it someday before I die. I do care about sanitary conditions, and I am very careful about washing my dishes and cookware before I use them, but I see nothing wrong with leaving them dirty stacked in the sink until I have enough to run the dishwasher. I don't worry about the floors being dirty because I am not going to eat off the floor, nor am I going to get down and roll around or crawl on the floor. The trash truck runs on Tuesday, so every Monday I go through the house and get all the actual trash out in the trashcan next to the curb by Monday night. I wash my clothes in hot water, and they are faded wrinkled and often have stains that won't wash out, but they are clean and do not stink. I always take a shower and put on clean clothes before I leave home to go to work or to the Walmart Supercenter and other supermarkets. That is about the only places that I ever go. I have no friends and nobody ever invites me anywhere. I have a nice home paid for free and clear and a few hundred grand in retirement savings, but I guess I will end up in a nursing home and it will go to the state. Everybody acts like I have coodys, but I am actually always clean in my body and the food that I eat, even if my house and clothes don't look good.
I'm like R65. I'm a messy person, but not dirty messy. Just clutter...everywhere.
R63, that's a damn good site. Thanks.
It's amazing how many people live like this. I would think more than those that have perfect homes. Just been looking to move and every place we have looked around have been filthy hovels.
[quote]There was an episode of Hoarders that featured a woman with a blocked up septic system. Rather than have it fixed, she went to the bathroom (#1 AND #2 mind you) in empty soda bottles and plastic foood containers. She left them all over the house. They featured another woman who, if memory serves, didn't have running water and had a literal mountain of shit rising out of her toilet.
Ever look at real estate listings online? I was just on one today and could not believe the condition the rooms of some of those houses were in. How can these people not be mortified that their clutter is on the Internet for everyone to see, including all of the people who know them? Crazy!
R26, I was recently asked by one of my friends if I would join her with some other friends at a "cleaning party" at her home. Apparently neither her husband nor her adult daughter, who cleans houses for a living and lives with them, has cleaned anything since my friend's foot surgery over a month ago. Of course they keep a zoo of pets, which adds to the problem. We all politely begged off and nothing further was said. It sounds mean, but this is the umpteenth time that her friends have been asked to enable their dysfunction and I'm glad I'm not the only one tired of it. She has a husband and a grown daughter, but I'm supposed to feel guilty about refusing to clean her house while she is disabled and they slack off? No. R55, good for you for dropping that hyper-critical user. Did she like to say she was "just joking, because your place is always so clean..."?