The most common lies you find on dating and hookup sites
1.Here's a recent picture of me! (Translation: Here's a picture of me in 1995)
2.I'm 6 feet tall! (Translation: I'm 5'10")
3.People say I'm attractive (Translation: People say I'm attractive...when they're standing ten feet away and it's dark out)
"I like to skydive and go whitewater rafting on weekends"
I read these things and I think, Wow, everyone's out hiking!
"I'm a nice guy" almost always means that you're great at rationalizing borderline sociopathic behavior. When I see that phrase, I avoid.
I have a GF that is out of town
"I wrestle at 125 on my hs team" = wrestle at 160.
r12, have you read the "Nice guys of OKCupid" blog?
Recently got this one:
"I'm a man with discerning tastes and into quality. I'm a classy, masculine man and that's what I seek in a partner. Equiped with a virgin ass that will yeild to the right man."
All typos are original. Basically, Liberace, right? hehe
32 inch waist.Yeah right.
My wife won't do certain things I enjoy.
Not a lie, but common is when guys who have zero pictures posted and couldn't be bothered to fill out their profile send this email:
Hot! Got any more pics?
[quote]I'm a man with discerning tastes and into quality. I'm a classy, masculine man and that's what I seek in a partner. Equiped with a virgin ass that will yeild to the right man
What's he means by "discerning tastes" is they have to have a dick.
And who's got a virgin ass anymore?
"x" inches. Why do people make up this shit? An exaggerated number makes me more likely to click him off.
I'm fit fat!
"'I wrestle at 125 on my hs team' = wrestle at 160."
I have no idea what this means.
"I'm an athlete" = "Haven't played sports since high school"
"Football-player build" = "So morbidly obese I have to bathe with a washrag on a stick"
... Yet on grindr
"Not a bottom but really would like to try it with the right guy"
40's is really late forties to mid 50's
Discreet, except the pictures I post of my face and dick all over the internet
Another mention for "football player build". That always means fat.
Jock. This one confuses me, that so many gays refer to themselves as "jocks". To me a jock is a dumb oaf who plays sports, could be skinny, fat, built, etc. But gays interpret jock to mean anyone who works out, or runs, or hell, has a gym membership.
R34 Or anyone who owns a jockstrap!
Can't believe this one hasn't been mentioned but...
______ (age) but look ______ (age minus 10)
(of course, the first age itself is probably at least five years off)
R21, I have a "virgin" ass, but I am not advertising it on craigslist. It will still be "virgin" when I die.
"Partnered / not looking for hookups" (this seen on a Grindr profile featuring the man's naked torso)
"Just checking things out"
"Looking for the guy who'll get me to delete my Grindr profile!" (seen that one repeatedly)
"Discrete" (sp) ... even though I have my face plastered on a gay hookup app
Not a "lie" per se, but if they're wearing a cap in their pic, 99 times out of 100 they're bald
I like the fat guys who post pictures of themselves and tell you number of times they go to the gym per week.
9" Thick cock
Just want to be friends. No sex. Then post naked pictures of themselves with legs up in the air or on all fours and butt checks spread. Huh?
Looking to explore or try something new. This is my first time (translation = this week) or strictly a top but with right (translation = any man) man I might bottom.
Versatile = I bottom and I knit!
"I'm a curvy gal" translates to "I weigh 250 or more and there are no curves, just fat rolls".
Oh, I love the guys who say they're 'masculine' and are only looking for 'masculine' guys, and then their eyebrows are perfectly arched and they have on guyscara.
No one over 40 (when they list their age at 42 and joined 5 years ago lol)
Non Smoker - smokes
No Drugs - I just use tina
Anything Goes - I have hep c and now so do you
Open Relationship - I am allowed to see other people as long as he does not find out.
Can only meet at your place - married
This has happened a few times to me. Someone contacts me and their profile says they drink often and take drugs. When I tell them that's a deal breaker they respond by saying, "Oh, I just put that in there as a joke."
"no Drama' = don't be like my last three failed attempts at a relationship
The guy claiming to be versatile and once you entertain a conversation about a possible meeting they start to manipulate you into what THEY are looking for. They are bottoms, have no interest in anything except their assholes and getting filled up with all the dick they can get.
Don't get me wrong, if you have a hot ass or just an ass that appeals to me I am a fucker. Will fuck that night and day and more.
If I don't like your ass I am not a fucker. Not wanting to fuck you doesn't mean I don't want to do other things with you.
If someone is truly versatile there is no need for a specific conversation about what exactly your meeting might entail.
R48 is right. If you have to mention drama...
"work hard, play hard." Usually, they do neither of those things.
Safe sex only!!!!! No exceptions!!!
Unless you're neg...
"Can only meet at your place - married"
Yep! Also, any guy who is wary of posting photos of himself is married and/or closeted (this happened to me, I hooked up with a guy who was "locally famous" and a married closet case)
Discreet, married, so don't post my pics= I'm ugly so hopefully you'll fall for my bs, and once you do see me, you'll be too horny/tired to call it off.
I have to wonder. Do the guys who post no pictures ever hook up? Who would agree to talk to someone let alone meet them without knowing what they look like?
I can't post pics because I have to be discreet usually means I'm really unattractive and if you saw my pic, you'd shoot me down.
[quote]This has happened a few times to me. Someone contacts me and their profile says they drink often and take drugs. When I tell them that's a deal breaker they respond by saying, "Oh, I just put that in there as a joke."
Yeah a similar thing happened to me. Got invited to chat by a 27-year-old and I told him that he was unlikely to be my type as I like older guys. He then writes back saying that he was actually 43 and he had simply forgotten to update the age on his ad.
[quote]Do the guys who post no pictures ever hook up? Who would agree to talk to someone let alone meet them without knowing what they look like?
Sometimes you have to take a chance... but, of course, meet in public first. My hottest regular buddy was a guy with no pictures, but he sent me a message that hit all the right buttons and the more we emailed back and forth the more we realized we were looking for the same thing, so, it was worth taking the risk for me. We had a hot affair of meeting once or twice a week for 7 months straight until work transferred him out of town. Hottest sex I've ever had.
R55, yes those guys do get hits. I even tried that theory out...
I created a fake profile with no pics. In the text, I wrote something like: Straight guy here with serious GF. I'm VGL and masculine. Not into gay guys, only looking for other straight guys to suck my big dick. Don't ask for pics because you won't get them. Total alpha straight male here. Only into very masculine guys.
I got lots of replies from self-loathing gays who believed (or desperately wanted to believe) everything I said.
R58= posts no pics on his profile so comes up with a story encouraging others to hook up with guys who don't post pics because it will result in the "hottest sex."
Stocky, linebacker-build, hefty, large, big.
You're fat. Just say so.
"Been told I'm good-looking" = Yes, by my mother and my students at the school for the blind.
"Nice guy" = Life's doormat
"Yo Bro, s'up?" = Spoken by an over the hill A&F wearing, Eminem listening White Party reject
"Top" = Bottom
"Bottom" = Top (surprise!)
I don't know if this is necessarily a lie, but it seems to me that for as many as like "romantic walks along the beach", the beaches would be like Grand Central Station!
Only play safe = drinking gallons of jizz.
[quote][R58]= posts no pics on his profile
Believe what you want to.
"Looking for LTR"
I want to stalk someone for two weeks until I find enough defects to move on. All of our dates will seem like job interviews.
I will constantly tell you how 'wealthy' I am. Please don't notice my cheap shoes or the fact I eat like a savage.
We're about the same age, but I probably won't settle for you. The cocks I ride on the side are usually very young, dumb, and poor.
"Frat boy" = 30-something
"Straight-acting" = Richard Simmons lookalike
I don't understand why everyone on here is so rude? Were people not taught any manners?= Will only respond to extremely hot guys and ignore anyone who doesn't meet their hotness standard.
Hate drama= that doesn't center around ME.
R63 "I like the idea of you imagining me strolling on a beach, hiking, surfing while kayaking, and white water river rafting."
Workin' hard, playin' harder
"D/D free" = Undetectable viral load, as long as I didn't have a meth binge this week.
[quote]Versatile = I bottom and I knit!
He's only truly versatile if he bottoms WHILE knitting.
I'll be honest, I have met some really hot guys that wouldn't send a picture. Sometimes it is worth taking a chance, you can always walk away, I have several times when someone's picture was so outdated and inaccurate. "sorry, I'm just not feeling it."
This is going to be hard for you old Primetimers to believe but most people never go to online dating sites.
Maybe I'm not selective enough, but I don't have a problem with 5' 10" becoming a full six feet. Big Deal!
Yeah, but you probably have a problem with 4 inches becoming 8.
"I don't have any pics of my cock, but I've never had any complaints."
Then, you meet them and realize they probably never had any compliments on it either. I ain't sucking that thang.
I meet guys online all the time (yeah I am a whore so what)...I only have pics of my cock because I am pretty well hung and get attention from guys looking for that. I'm in good shape all that blah blah blah and truly versatile..the biggest lie I have seen is dick size. I get a lot of big dick tops all wanting to fuck me..you know the ones who have 9" or more listed. I always make a deal with them..if my cock is bigger than yours I get to fuck you..only lost that bet once lol.
r77, I had a guy tell me he was 8.5 inches. When I met him I pulled up to him when we were both erect and my dick was an inch bigger than his (I'm 7). I called him out on it and he insisted that I must be 9.5 inches and that I had measured wrong, not him.
[quote]This is going to be hard for you old Primetimers to believe but most people never go to online dating sites.
So where do they go R73?
R79- the answer is Dennys during the old geezer grand slam breakfast morning special
This is a really funny thread.
"Just looking for friends" = if you are half way decent looking I will take your load.