Three blazing hot Columbia U. students moved into my building today.
I'm on the upper west side, 105th and Broadway to be exact. They were moving in this morning. I assume they're all Columbia U. students, since one was wearing a Columbia sweat shirt. They were moving themselves in with a U-Haul. It's chilly, but one of them took off his jacket and stripped down to a tight wife beater to reveal a mouthwatering, beautifully sculpted body. The other 2 look like they have hot bodies as well. They're all incredibly handsome too. Does Columbia have a wrestling team?
They just finished moving and went down the street, probably to grab a bite to eat. I'll need to introduce myself to them and let them know that I'm available if they need anything. One word...YUMMERS!
Mama, it sounds like they got your mussy mewing like a new born kitten.
My window was dirty, and they gave me great incentive to windex the shit out of that thing. Nice clear picture of these hotties. I wonder if one or all three are "family." I'm not exactly "mama," but I am pretty twitchy at the idea of having sex with them. Ya never know.
Since approximately 3 percent of the people in this country identify as gay, I'd say your chances aren't good.
OP, they're Hudson U.
That means OD, OD, auto-erotic asphyxiation, and perhaps a jail rape.
Yes, OP, do that. Introduce yourself. That's exactly what three blazing hot Columbia U. students want: a 50 year old elder gay running at them with a plate of freshly baked prune danish. Maybe they will be receptive to an evening of watching Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and a spirited game of Trivial Pursuit.
ww for r4, LOL.
Make sure you wear your best Pucci caftan and those chandelier earrings when you knock on their door - and a turban would be so fetching, too!
Think MRS. ROPER!
Tell them you're an older student majoring in Hissssstory.
"Maybe they will be receptive to an evening of watching Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and a spirited game of Trivial Pursuit."
I sure as hell would be!
The best way to meet college students is to have something in common with them. Living in the same building isn't the answer. I suggest auditing some courses...
Does Columbia have a wrestling team?
get on grindr and see if they are online and 0 feet away.
for the eldergay, grindr is something that younger gays use to find other gays nearby, that is run on a smartphone like iphone or android.
Do Columbia students wear wifebeaters?
Thanks, R14, but I do get the idea of what Grindr is, though I don't have a Smartphone myself.
I *HATE* the term "wifebeater" and am always surprised when females find the term okay.
Op, you washed your windows in this cold weather?
And make sure you use the word, "yummers," in conversation with them... as often as you can.
I bet nothing will get three Columbia students hotter than a guy who says yummers... WITH an exclamation point!
Baby steps, R16.
They used to be called "Dago-Tees" which raised the hair on the backs of our more catholic posters.
In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories....
Remember: if they are at Columbia, that means they could not get into Dartmouth or Brown or Princeton.
OP is busy preparing his hole for a rare winter presentation. Stay tuned!
Oh, I am familiar with the term "Guinea Tee" but that meant those ribbed undershirts with narrow-ish, almost bra-like straps holding them up. Nothing like the belly-exposing shortie "wifebeaters" - unless we're talking about different things?
My neighbor's golden retriever makes little squeaking noises of pleasure when I see him to get me to pet him. I think you should do the same, OP.
And they will simply be...boys.
They aren't looking for the queen in the block.
If they want sex, it will be between them and the hot girls they can pick up.
If they don't want girls, it will be between themselves.
And it will be hot. With the blinds closed.
R3, but according to Willis Institute and Gallup 11% wouldn't mind to have gay sex.
OP, I think you should just turn your front door into a glory hole.
OP, I think you should definitely pre-lube. You don't want to give them too much time to reconsider.
I bet this is how OP plans to present himself at the students door
I clicked on that prepared to cringe at some poor thing bent over presenting some questionable, gaping hole...
I haven't laughed so hard all morning.
29 replies and no one has said, "You lost me at 'I'm on the upper west side, 105th and Broadway to be exact'"??
Not quite R130 -- between Morningside Park and the Hudson, (black) Harlem starts further up.
It's the YUMMER West Side, boys!
Seriously, I am as moist as a snack cake back there.
Play it cool when they get there. DO NOT reveal your American Girl doll collection until they have finished their sherry.
OP, in college I found that playingThe Doors attracted sexually confused men. Provide weed.
There are a lot of Muslim girls on ONTD and Tumblr. I'm familiar with them through soccer blogs. The ones in Western Europe generally adopt completely western attitudes, though they're understandably offended if someone makes assumptions about cultural or religious matters or the Palestinian problem. The girls in the Middle East are in an alternate reality. Very infantile and child-like in many respects.
Sorry, wrong thread.
"Dude, I'm so pumped. We go to Columbia, we got a new apartment, and I'm about to hook up with this super hot elderly gay man down the hall! He asked me over for mai tais tonight!"
"Do you mean that fat guy with the box tan and the waddle? Oh yeah, I could pound that ass all night!"
"Hands off, bra! He's mine!"
It's a pretty far leap from one guy wearing a Columbia sweatshirt to the three of them all attending university. More likely, the one guy swiped it from his old GF's brother and the three of them are in retail.
r33, when describing distance, the correct word is "farther."
Your High School English Teacher
"Madame Alexander collections are so hot. Can we fuck while they stare at us?"
Madame Alexander collection?? HARDLY!!!
OP only collects the finest Lladro dolls, I will have you know.
Well, I introduced myself and told them to stop over any time if they needed anything. Nice guys and smokin' hot. OMG.
They wanted a picture of together on their first day in the new place. I agreed to take it with my camera. Heheh.
r21 reveals himself to be an elder gay with his antiquated pecking order.
Below Princeton, yes, but Dartmouth and Brown?
Well, I'm happy as can be for OP. Hopefully, he can peek and plot for the rest of winter in anticipation of that first halfway warm day when they bust out to do something sweaty. I sure would.
So glad I clicked on this thread ... the first page is particularly inspired.
OP just validated exatly what straight men do not like about gay men.
Gays want tolerance and acceptance, while the ones who behave in this predatory fashion make that much more difficult for the targeted men.
If these men iknew he was gay, they wouldn't appreciate his overtures.
Serenade them with karaoke tracks like "Knock Three Times" and "Beautiful." Be sure to incorporate props and wigs.
Well OP? Have they invited you over for an afternoon tea and hole ravaging yet session?
"Let me introduce myself--I'm the new neighbor whose MOIST MUSSY you're going to MAJOR in!"
Op is on all fours getting skewered.
[quote] OP, I think you should just turn your front door into a glory hole.
Or their front door!
R21 - So not true - Columbia has a lower acceptance rate than Dartmouth or Brown. Besides, who wants to go to school at white country club enclaves like Dartmouth or Princeton anyway?
I saw one at the mail box the other day, and walked into the building with the one with the wife beater yesterday. I have a finely tuned gaydar, and honestly, I got a vib from the one at the mailbox.
We introduced ourselves. All three of them do attend Columbia. We made some small talk about the building. I told him it's a nice place with quiet people (the usual crap) but that the super, who lives offsite, is usually drunk and mostly unreliable unless you have a big job with a hefty payout for him. We both laughed when I said this, holding each other's gazes for more than a couple of seconds. I told him which apartment I live in, and told him to knock on my door if he or his buddies need anything.
I'm 34, and yes, I DO LOOK MUCH YOUNGER. I'm often mistaken for mid-20s. And before you queens start telling me how deluded I am, it is the truth. Seriously, man people gasp when I tell them my age. It's just genetics. My brother is 28 and looks late teens. And I like youthful things too. So anyway it's not out of the realm of possibility that he and I could hook up somewhere down the line, if he is indeed gay. I'm not saying it's going to happen or that it probably will happen, but a future hookup is certainly not totally implausible. I have game.
[quote]We both laughed when I said this, holding each other's gazes for more than a couple of seconds.
You're retarded, R56. Columbia still has a lower admissions rate than Darmouth or Brown.
JESUS, how embarassing. DL continues to slip further and further by the day. One of you cunts should have exposed this as an OBVIOUS Noodles post within the first six comments. Instead it goes all the way to 58 posts??? It has all the usual Noodles/Mama's Mussy elements (yes, of *course* they're the same troll - are you fucking kidding me with this?): lustworthy young men, inappropriate situation for removing a shirt to reveal rippling muscles (NYC in January), sig line containing a traditional guy's name (Bryan), and of course the usual 34-but-look-24 bait. Come ON, people.
The next post will likely be either more furtive looks between Noodles and the guy at the mailbox, or possibly a straight shot back to Noodles' apartment after the guy drops his trou by mistake, or maybe a towel, and Noodles utters his infamous "YUMMMMMMM" that turns straight men gay at the blink of an eye. Afterwards, the trick will be told to "move it along, toots," as Noodles needs to get on here and breathlessly relative the sordid details of his tryst.
I am really excited for you. How nice it must be to be so youthful and beautiful and surrounded by cute college boys. The guys I blow are all over 40.
This is OP, flinting around the lobby for hours at a time, waiting to tell these dumb college kids he's 34
[quote] And I like youthful things too.
r64, I meant that I dress youthfully...slightly torn vintage jeans, high-top sneaks, Penguin/Fred Perry shirts...and can have an intelligent conversation about rap artists. These types of things.
Name some rap artists that are hot right now OP.
I personally like Hopsin, ScHoolboy Q, Marcus Manchild, and Fat Tony. Some of my boys are trying to sell me on A$AP Rocky, but I just don't like his shit. And you, r66?
How do you know that they like rap, OP? Did they have it playing when they moved in? What if the hottest, gayest one is a classical music major?
[quote]How do you know that they like rap, OP?
Because that's what all the youngsters listen to these days!
[quote]yes, I DO LOOK MUCH YOUNGER. I'm often mistaken for mid-20s.
Oh, you poor deluded Mary.
OP/r66 Im a Lupe Fiasco fan so naturally I wouldnt be into ASAP Rocky. I also enjoy Rick Ross, Tyga (dont judge me). Juicy J and Three 6 Mafia I have loved for years. I also listen to DMX everyday.
But like r68 said, they might not like rap music or the rap music you like.
[quote]R64, I meant that I dress youthfully...slightly torn vintage jeans, high-top sneaks
"Aged" vintage jeans and Converse sneaks were OV-AH five years ago. These days it's all about raw Japanese denim and the freshest Nike kicks.
Nice try, R66/OP. Thanks for picking 2012 rappers right off the About.com list, but you didn't put much effort into that one. Sloppy, sloppy! That was an Extremely Sweet Touch to give props to your "boys."
Ooooh R76, that caught me off guard! Still laughing . . .
Oh, calm the fuck down Mary! @ R66. Stop pissing all over our fun. Why do you care if it's true or not? Go back to one of the MANY boring Anne Hathaway threads.
[quote]Afterwards, the trick will be told to "move it along, toots," as Noodles needs to get on here and breathlessly relative the sordid details of his tryst.
Good, can't wait.
Sorry, R61, not R66.
[quote]JESUS, how embarassing. DL continues to slip further and further by the day
In this case, there's only one thing for you to do, R61 --- just leave right now and never come back. That will teach OP a lesson. Please, Toots, just run along and don't look back.
[quote]I also enjoy Rick Ross, Tyga (dont judge me)
I'd be judging you on Ross before Tyga.
rap sucks. Always has.
OP while bleaching your hole the fumes got to your head
Hey Sis. Listen to this. This old guy in the building is hitting on us and I'm scared he's the type who's going to start dropping in with fresh-baked bran muffins and offers to explain how to add fabric softener to the laundry. Any ideas how to get rid of him without provoking him. He looks like the type who would throw dog shit on our cars or something (he's got three of those little dogs like Nana Sophie had). Demetrius just wants to tell him to fuck off. Thanx. See you Sunday.
Pictures, OP, or it didn't happen.
The one that I felt a vibe from at the mailbox finally got in. He'd been standing outside for the past hour talking to some chick. My eye was trained on them for most of the time, and all they did was chat. No PDA, no kissing, no pitching woo, nada. Of course the little strumpet he was with was dressed in her micro-mini and 12-inch hooker heels, and even with the whiff of that harlot's pussy in his face, he was able to remain restrained. Does that sound like any red-blooded 20-year-old know you know? Now that I have time to reflect on what I saw, I think he did seem rather uncomfortable, as if he rather be pinned under a school bus than have to chat one more minute with the little tramp. Hmmm, methinks he might be, and I stress might be, gay or confused, and possibly, just possibly, that was a vibe of sexual energy I got the other day.
Even if they are all gay doesn't mean they would have any interest in the OP socially or sexually.
OP - After your posting at R86, you're either a troll or you're creepy.
Maybe the "harlot" was his sister. Or cousin.
And if you're using the word "harlot", you're old.
Dont worry Im sure their music and gangs of friends watching sports and partying to all hours wont keep you up or disturb you at all
bump, because I'm in the mood for more amusement by this subject
OP, I didn't read the last annoying 30-40 comments, so I don't know how this has evolved. I just want to keep the post alive too and hear how the story evolves.
YOu haven't heard anymore because the college boys strangled and dismembered the OP after he came on to them.
OP, invite them over for a Deanna Durbin TCM night. If they call you a fascist for even contemplating Ms. Durbin, they're all yours.
A gay man named Bryan. Imagine!
Is Bryan a frequently gay name, r97? (Gayer than Brian?)
I'd like to hear the OP's sense of profound loss and disappointment over the fact that all three boys were completely straight. And the hard fact of life (which so many gays have trouble accepting): just because you find a guy cute doesn't necessarily mean you'll ever get to fuck him.